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In honor of the upcoming Tom and Jerry: Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory movie, I have decided to finally release this super-original and not remotely cringey movie I’ve had on my mind for a while. I’ve always wanted to join in on the Pooh’s Adventures trend and put my favorite character in my favorite movies by splicing clips together at more or less random, so here’s something to hold you over now that there’s a shortage of “Elsa and Spider-Man eat excrement with the dentist” videos.

Enjoy! Danskjävlar!

If 2016 was the year of sequels and reboots, 2017 is the year that our old favorites straight-up came back, or at least got to resume where they left off. Already we’ve seen the return of Samurai Jack, just one month from now we’re getting more Twin Peaks, and, oh, Lasagna Cat. Don’t forget Lasagna Cat.

And now, thanks to the magic of Internet fandom and crowd-funding, a new season of Mystery Science Theater 3000 has come to Netflix, ready to provide us with more deliberately corny sketches followed by a human plus his robot friends commenting over a B movie aboard their space station. Alas, and I may step on a few toes when I say this, MST3K is probably the comeback I was the least excited for, mostly because I never felt like the series needed to continue and also because the last people to have portrayed the main characters – Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy, and Bill Corbett – moved on to do RiffTrax, thus giving the fans a quencher all the same. Therefore, this new season feels more like it belongs in reboot territory after all and not only because Mike is no longer our host and the robots are all re-cast. I’ll bet you the J. Elvis Weinstein fans are angrier today than ever.

Some who did return, however, are people before the Mike era, such as show creator Joel Hodgson (even if actors from later seasons are slated to cameo), here to pass on the torch to a new generation of riff-ers and evil scientists supplying said riff-ers with torturous films. Jonah Ray is our host, Hampton Yount and Baron Vaughn voice Crow T. Robot and Tom Servo, and the son of Dr. Clayton Forrester’s henchman TV’s Frank is played by Patton Oswalt. Forrester himself apparently had a child too (presumably before he was turned into a Star Child by an enlarged VHS tape), played here by Felicia Day.

The film that Jay and the bots are forced to watch is Reptilicus, a Danish monster movie that Cinemassacre covered a long time ago – this is all I know about it, aside from the fact that it involves a dragon-like puppet and green slime.

The episode is technically not bad and I had a good time watching it. I didn’t find Felicia Day terribly funny and some of the riffs were, expectedly, weaker than others (the pacing was also off, with a new joke being made before the punchline of the last one had sunk in) but it was lovingly put together, with the campy special effects, obscure references, and all that. I suppose I just feel like I haven’t really wished for this day the same way I’ve longed to see the ending for Twin Peaks and Samurai Jack. Like I said, we’ve already had RiffTrax and Joel himself even tried out an idea called Cinematic Titanic, but considering the reception of the latter show, I guess it makes sense he’d want to tread safer waters in the not too distant future.

3/5

This one’s worth skipping.

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‘Life’ Review

This one’s worth skipping.

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This one’s worth checking out.

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thot you wouldnt know that governor

Hi y’all, i’m cutie-da-bootie. i’m the white teenaje gIrl fully grown unapoloGetik basic bitch with 2 babies on da way who stands in for vIcTor when hes not available for blogin. i wa$ just chiling wif my grrrrrrlllll Kindle <3, watchin hiskoo mew cycle , da miley cyruS criteRion coLlection, & Keepin Upside Down Wit The Kardashians ❤ as u know, lookin aT Kredasgians is the most BADASS thin sinse the takin a midle fingeR selfie wit da sNapchat dog filter, lmfao fuck u h8rs lol 😂

anyway, i have an anownsement 2 maek, u can now finD me on TWITTER:

all da emoji’s n da sa$sy CindRella pic were mai personall litle toucheS. i kinda wanteDd 2 separate miselF froM othEr twitr meme paGes, ya knoW??

i retweet froM all da best n most RELaTABLE tiwter accounts 4 da real queen$, includin a dozzn “Common White Girl”s, aproksimately twenti “Sexual Gifs” n also harleY quinn memes lol (margo robie<3)! i may evn post some relatabel tweets of my owN abowt howw weird n random i am 4 breaving oxygen, how CUTE cumblerbaz n zaxophone efron are, n also OMG BEYONCÉ IS PERGNAT ❤ASHDKASJDHAKSJFHAKSTWERKFJHA KFJHAKHEWILLNOTDIVIDEBYZEROMNF ❤❤

Follow hear P.s.. no bois allowed, eww, lol (unles, liek, its roobert patentson or niall degrassE horan – but other dan dat doe)

previus entrys bai dis useR:

 

‘Cow and Chicken’ Review (TV)

Must-see!

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This one’s worth skipping.

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Everyone’s favorite superhero is finally back with a brand new season (last episode here) with better camera work and shittier Rockstar Editor export quality (forgive me). This was meant to be a filler episode where Jesus “CarpenThor” Christ squares off against Impotent Rage, a much more beloved newcomer in the superhero game. But then I accidentally wrote in a bunch of important plot progressions, timely commentary/satire, and a scene where an old lady fires a minigun at people. So I officially can’t even do boring filler episodes right. I am worthless.

The plot: Jesus “CarpenThor” Christ awakens after his encounter with Sinistor to find that a new metahuman, Impotent Rage, is being idolized and celebrated for that which makes CarpenThor and his peers outcasts. This is all very relevant. Meanwhile, a disguised Lex Jewthor returns to the place where his family died only to make a horrific discovery, Misty realizes that the military is after her, Diana gets herself involved with the people at Fort Zancudo after getting too close to the human world with her new boyfriend Beast Boi, Chesterfield grows tired of his abusive boss Norman Stillbourne, and Ghostbones Skullrider sees an oppurtunity in the arrival of Impotent Rage.

Also there’s an old lady with a BFG at the end. Enjoy.

Last year, I posted a listicle about random YouTube channels that are just the right amount of “out there” that you need to see them at least once before you commit seppuku out of protest against JonTron saying more words. I have literally nothing important that I need to be doing right now, thus I’ve concluded I may as well post another one just like it. I’ve touched on more than a few recent instances of online drama this year already, so I decided something as nightmarish as some of the entries in this list would make for some perfectly light-hearted escapism. Glad you agree. View full article »