Category: Rants

pillrIf you’ve been living under a pebble under a rock under a boulder for the past few years and/or never saw The Matrix because “it’s actually overrated”, you won’t be familiar with the term “red-pilled”.

This word refers to people who have it all figured out and are now receiving facts and news from places other than the mainstream media – i.e. places that, okay, still have biases but, like, correct ones. Unlike the layman, a “red-pilled” person will be acutely aware of the hidden truths in society and all that secretly takes place under our noses, like the Jews being at it again, homosexuals deviously attempting to make the gay lifestyle look “a little TOO okay”, and all women being complicit in a conspiracy to not fuck him (which is their fault). Continue reading


In 2012, I wrote about how everyone and their grandmother were building some Swedish video game player up as the funniest and most awesome thing on the Internet for really no other reason than the fact that easily entertained children – and equally intelligent teens/young adults – went apeshit over his loud and random (therefore funny) Amnesia playthroughs. After I wrote about him, my blog views went from nothing to meh, but most importantly, I realized just how zealous, sensitive, and generally fucked in the head this fanbase truly was.

Ever since, I have longed to find a similar YouTube phenomenon; an even more unjustly celebrated e-celebrity with an even bigger cringe-horde of a fandom; anyone who has been paraded around as a “hip and cool” poster child for the website even more aggressively and who also became a foot-bullet for the company even faster than the guy who turned out to rely on “N-word” comedy a bit too much. With Logan Paul, his brother Jake, and the kids who watch their shit, I have struck gold again at last. Continue reading

A critique I see remarkably often towards such films as Primer and Cloud Atlas is that they’re only meant to be watched by those who want to seem intellectually superior for doing so, implying they have little to no other merit.

This is interesting because – while I do enjoy both films in terms of script, production, and their bewildering yet significant ways of presenting their respective stories – the other big complaint I hear is that the movies are too confusing, no matter how simple they are to piece together upon a second viewing or even a second thought (at least in the case of Cloud Atlas). So if you’re used to people telling you that “you just don’t get it”, it’s probably because that’s the best you can do in terms of bitching about movies. And also because, yeah, sounds like you didn’t. Continue reading

DISCLAIMER: This is a comedic article and if you truly have problems you should talk to a therapist and not me. But please do if you want, I am hilarious.

A lot of people who seemingly haven’t suffered enough will tell you to “Fake it ’til you make it”. Now how true could that be? If you claim that you’re doing great whenever someone asks you how you’re doing, surely it won’t help you actually feel less shitty? Continue reading

oni-sionIt’s been a long time since I talked properly about YouTube’s favorite cuckold and very happy man Greg “Onision” Jackson. This is mainly due to the advice I’ve received from fans of his after writing about him, namely that I should just stop paying attention to the guy if I don’t like him, as if to say that hating Greg as a person would make me unable to enjoy watching his meltdowns on a monthly basis.

Anyhow, I did leave Gregory alone for a while after doing a quickie on him last year. I’m sad to say, however, that He Who Wins Debates Against Sock Puppets is at it again. When he’s not busy watching his wife get intimate with a teenage girl whom the wife later cheats on him with (polygamy works, guys), he’s apparently looking at fangirl-submitted selfies and telling the senders how “beautiful” or “disgustingly unhealthy” their half-naked bodies look. And as you may have guessed, it has been noted several times, more so in recent days than when he supposedly started the forum itself, that not all of these girls are of legal age. Uh-oh… bro. Continue reading


Two million years ago, Ian Carter of iDubbbzTV gave us his informed take on so-called Toy Channels; that popular fad on YouTube in which unfunny parents will showcase random toys and give them to their kids, only for their viewing figures to crack six digits because evidently shit like this is entertainment gold. It’s basically a new way for people to make a quick buck off of their children’s cuteness in exchange for letting said children become spoiled brats who will henceforth be used to getting a bigger, more annoying version of Christmas every week.

However, there was something in iDubbbz’s video on the matter that didn’t quite fit. At timestamp 5:48, there is footage that doesn’t seem to connect or even relate to the other Toy Review Channels within the vid. Instead, I think Ian tried to warn us that the worst was yet to come. A trend even less deserving of being popular. An idea for content even more fascinatingly inane. Here’s the video, first of all: Continue reading

FacebookI’ve written about the shenanigans of Facebook assholes far too often. Back in 2012, I wrote about this frankly disturbing trend where people used images of sick, deformed and/or badly hurt individuals to get more likes on their fan pages while feigning sympathy (twice). Then, three years later, I wrote about the people on Facebook who manipulate the emotion opposite of sadness via so-called “humor” pages that share a bunch of regurgitated memes or unsourced screenshots of whiny ‘teen posts’ that you’ve seen already – and are usually completely irrelevant to the page name.

And no, it doesn’t count when a cesspool of cringe like “Minion Quotes” takes a random string of words, whether they’re intended to be funny or touching (none of which they are), and just slaps an unrelated picture of a Minion next to it. It’s not a Minion quote. It’s the same kind of fatuous bullshit that everyone else already posts and you’re just using the popularity of these unfunny pill creatures to make users across the globe even more enticed by your posts so that you can make even more easy dollars (yes, nowadays you can get attention and money by doing this). At least write “blah blah blah banana” or something! People will still think it’s the epitome of comedy.


Yes, I put a watermark on this. Like it matters in today’s virtual world.

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gay man

Oh hi. Did the purposely stupid and ridiculous title of my post grab your attention? Well, good. Then you and I can have a little talk about the definition of true equality.

I had a discussion with my parents a long time ago regarding that very subject. The question was brought up as to where the line goes between true equality and exaggeration. How extreme can a person get as to what should be considered discrimination and sexism? Will people such asthe “politically correct” be satisfied when women are paid the same wage as men for an equivalent amount of work, or will the next step in the fight for equality be to find a way for women and men to start sharing the public restroom? Continue reading

I love how you get just as much out of this one image as you'd get out of watching any of these guys' videos in its entirety.

I love how you get just as much out of this one image as you’d get out of watching any of these guys’ videos in its entirety.

It’s pretty fucking sad when you have so little to offer creatively that you make PewDiePie, The Fine Brothers and even Ray William Johnson seem like better examples of something. At least PewDiePie has some form of actual reaction to the stuff he watches. At least The Fine Bros. interview all their “Reaction Videos” subjects about what they just reacted to and thus offer up some sort of commentary. At least Ray William Johnson… um… well he… he, uh… Okay, his dick jokes make dumb 12-year-old boys laugh, and that’s still more than I can say about people who run so-called “Reactor Channels”.

What is a “Reactor”? Well, it’s someone who reacts to movie trailers or just other people’s YouTube videos, and also videotape said reactions to use in content of their own. But oh man, these guys don’t just include snippets of the work like The Fine Brothers and Ray William Johnson normally do, nor do they edit out and compile the highlights of their own reactions, no-no-no. These beacons of creativity literally just play entire YouTube clips that other people have made and react to them in real-time, which is often minimal in terms of actual “reacting”, usually giving an equally meaningless and unthought-out “review” of what they’ve seen afterwards.

This isn’t exactly MST3K-level commentary we’re talking about here, nor are the reactions as memorable as they might be in, say, those trailer reactions that Star Wars and Hobbit fanboys post (even when it’s deliberately stoic as a joke). It’s just a bunch of random, untalented assholes making a living by copy-and-pasting content that other people put actual time and effort into. “Famous” Reactors like Jinx, CJisSoCool and “the Big 4” do no such thing (even if Akasan seems like a good guy). Continue reading

† H a p p y   H a l l o w e e n †

Yes, this is also one of Halloween articles. Because vampires, that's why.

Yes, this is also one of my Halloween posts. Because vampires, that’s why.

An article by Laura Moss entitled Why must we hate the things teen girls love? has been circling the social networks lately. It basically bolsters the recently popularized belief that anyone who criticizes content (be it a movie, music or an infamously braindead book series) that appeals to teenaged girls is only doing so because everybody else is doing it, supposedly ignoring the merits of the work itself entirely, which would be unfair and, like most things, sexist.

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