Category: The Rest


DISCLAIMER: This is a comedic article and if you truly have problems you should talk to a therapist and not me. But please do if you want, I am hilarious.

A lot of people who seemingly haven’t suffered enough will tell you to “Fake it ’til you make it”. Now how true could that be? If you claim that you’re doing great whenever someone asks you how you’re doing, surely it won’t help you actually feel less shitty? Continue reading

oni-sionIt’s been a long time since I talked properly about YouTube’s favorite cuckold and very happy man Greg “Onision” Jackson. This is mainly due to the advice I’ve received from fans of his after writing about him, namely that I should just stop paying attention to the guy if I don’t like him, as if to say that hating Greg as a person would make me unable to enjoy watching his meltdowns on a monthly basis.

Anyhow, I did leave Gregory alone for a while after doing a quickie on him last year. I’m sad to say, however, that He Who Wins Debates Against Sock Puppets is at it again. When he’s not busy watching his wife get intimate with a teenage girl whom the wife later cheats on him with (polygamy works, guys), he’s apparently looking at fangirl-submitted selfies and telling the senders how “beautiful” or “disgustingly unhealthy” their half-naked bodies look. And as you may have guessed, it has been noted several times, more so in recent days than when he supposedly started the forum itself, that not all of these girls are of legal age. Uh-oh… bro. Continue reading

Now excuse me while I dab at some imaginary Pokémon from my hoverboard and capture them on an exploding Samsung phone that plays decibel-boosted, bass-boosted, auto-tuned “n*gga trap” and hilarious 6 second videos about white shoes whilst literal clowns (and Harley Quinns) chase after me and I contemplate the fact that a borderline fascist babyman is the most powerful person in America even though I could have sworn Ghostbusters defeated sexism, all before I purchase a ticket for Remake 2: The Sequel, “challenge” my friends to stand completely still, marvel at how much cooler my selfies get when I add a dog nose, publish a think piece about how emojis and unfunny frog memes are the most racist thing to have happened all year, twerk to Rihanna’s “Gibberish”, and also mourn all the influencial celebrities that left us this year – none of which hit me as hard as that one gorilla whose name I can’t remember.

H A P P Y   N E W   Y E A R ,   H U M A N I T Y .   G O O D   J O B !

One of my favorite musicians – certainly one of our culture’s most influencial ones – left our plane of existence today. But, particularly in wake of recent events, we may just need the writing of Leonard Cohen than ever. That’s how most great artists survive after they leave, isn’t it? The world changes in some ways, but their commentary never cease to make sense.

After all, I can think of a certain politican who might lose his temper and, say, take Berlin any day now. Probably a lazy example but you get the idea.

Good night, Mr. Cohen.

uhm

Two million years ago, Ian Carter of iDubbbzTV gave us his informed take on so-called Toy Channels; that popular fad on YouTube in which unfunny parents will showcase random toys and give them to their kids, only for their viewing figures to crack six digits because evidently shit like this is entertainment gold. It’s basically a new way for people to make a quick buck off of their children’s cuteness in exchange for letting said children become spoiled brats who will henceforth be used to getting a bigger, more annoying version of Christmas every week.

However, there was something in iDubbbz’s video on the matter that didn’t quite fit. At timestamp 5:48, there is footage that doesn’t seem to connect or even relate to the other Toy Review Channels within the vid. Instead, I think Ian tried to warn us that the worst was yet to come. A trend even less deserving of being popular. An idea for content even more fascinatingly inane. Here’s the video, first of all: Continue reading

You guys don’t think…? Wait a second, I’ll be right back.

[Logs on to Facebook] Continue reading

FacebookI’ve written about the shenanigans Facebook users get up to far too often. Back in 2012, I wrote about this frankly disturbing trend where people used images of sick, deformed and/or badly hurt individuals to get more likes on their fan pages while feigning sympathy (twice). Then, three years later, I wrote about people on Facebook who manipulate the emotion opposite of sadness via so-called “humor” pages that share a bunch of regurgitated memes or unsourced screenshots of whiny ‘teen posts’ that you’ve seen already – and are usually completely irrelevant to the page name.

And no, it doesn’t count when a cesspool of cringe like “Minion Quotes” takes a random string of words, whether they’re intended to be funny or touching (none of which they are), and just slaps an unrelated picture of a Minion next to it. It’s not a Minion quote. It’s the same kind of fatuous bullshit that everyone else already posts and you’re just using the popularity of these unfunny pill creatures to make users across the globe even more enticed by your posts so that you can make even more easy dollars (yes, nowadays you can get attention and money by doing this). At least write “blah blah blah banana” or something! People will still think it’s the epitome of comedy.

minimini

Yes, I put a watermark on this. Like it matters in today’s virtual world.

Continue reading

Heroes

We can be heroes. And sometimes villains.

All within the same week, much has happened. Ziggy Stardust returned to the stars, leaving an immense musical legacy behind, and only a few days later, it was reported that Alan Rickman has passed away. In both instances, the cause of death was cancer.

I will always remember first seeing David Bowie in films such as Labyrinth and eventually growing fond of his music, and as for Rickman, I regret to say that his roles in Harry Potter and Die Hard reached me much later in life than his roles in stuff like Help! I’m A FishGalaxy Quest and that lousy Hittchhiker’s Guide movie. Either way, I will remember these two men fondly, and the world of entertainment shall as well.

Farewell, my friends. Send my regards to Lemmy and Angus Scrimm.

__

Rest in peace David Bowie, 8 January 1947 – 10 January 2016

Rest in peace Alan Rickman, 21 February 1946 – 14 January 2016

gay man

Oh hi. Did the purposely stupid and ridiculous title of my post grab your attention? Well, good. Then you and I can have a little talk about the definition of true equality.

I had a discussion with my parents a long time ago regarding that very subject. The question was brought up as to where the line goes between true equality and exaggeration. How extreme can a person get as to what should be considered discrimination and sexism? Will people such asthe “politically correct” be satisfied when women are paid the same wage as men for an equivalent amount of work, or will the next step in the fight for equality be to find a way for women and men to start sharing the public restroom? Continue reading

I love how you get just as much out of this one image as you'd get out of watching any of these guys' videos in its entirety.

I love how you get just as much out of this one image as you’d get out of watching any of these guys’ videos in its entirety.

It’s pretty fucking sad when you have so little to offer creatively that you make PewDiePie, The Fine Brothers and even Ray William Johnson seem like better examples of something. At least PewDiePie has some form of actual reaction to the stuff he watches. At least The Fine Bros. interview all their “Reaction Videos” subjects about what they just reacted to and thus offer up some sort of commentary. At least Ray William Johnson… um… well he… he, uh… Okay, his dick jokes make dumb 12-year-old boys laugh, and that’s still more than I can say about people who run so-called “Reactor Channels”.

What is a “Reactor”? Well, it’s someone who reacts to movie trailers or just other people’s YouTube videos, and also videotape said reactions to use in content of their own. But oh man, these guys don’t just include snippets of the work like The Fine Brothers and Ray William Johnson normally do, nor do they edit out and compile the highlights of their own reactions, no-no-no. These beacons of creativity literally just play entire YouTube clips that other people have made and react to them in real-time, which is often minimal in terms of actual “reacting”, usually giving an equally meaningless and unthought-out “review” of what they’ve seen afterwards.

This isn’t exactly MST3K-level commentary we’re talking about here, nor are the reactions as memorable as they might be in, say, those trailer reactions that Star Wars and Hobbit fanboys post (even when it’s deliberately stoic as a joke). It’s just a bunch of random, untalented assholes making a living by copy-and-pasting content that other people put actual time and effort into. “Famous” Reactors like Jinx, CJisSoCool and “the Big 4” do no such thing (even if Akasan seems like a good guy). Continue reading