Category: Q&A’s/Hate Mail


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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #20

Six million years ago, I was, like many others, an incorrigible fan of Doug “Nostalgia Critic” Walker, along with a multitude of other creators featured on his media conglomorate website Channel Awesome, previously That Guy With The Glasses. This faded as we aged and was destroyed completely by the #ChangeTheChannel clusterfuck, summarized here. Being as things stay on the Internet forever, though, it appears the time is now to lecture me on the tastes I had when I was literally a teenager, judging from the few pieces of hate mail in my inbox that aren’t just Reddit copypastas sent to me from different usernames and email accounts that share the same IP address.

So join me, dear reader, as I backpedal, save face, and whatever else explains the discrepancy of opinions between my teen-year-old self and I.

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Stv

this coming from the guy who blindly supported the guy with the glasses, a company who would only show symphathy when it benefits them and talk about other people doing wrongs while not showing responsibility for what they’re saying
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This was posted on my own little “In Memoriam” for Channel Awesome creator Justin Carmical, aka JewWario, who killed himself in 2014 but may not have deserved quite so much universal love, what with all the grooming he was reportedly doing during cons (note that my post has since been slightly altered). Like many things about Channel Awesome, this is not something that was known until this year, so I am skeptical of the narrative that I’m the dipshit for typing a farewell post for a person I did not know was a creep at the time, and attempting to be hearfelt in spite of my support of a company that did shit that I also did not know about. You know, since it wasn’t really public knowledge yet. Continue reading

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Here is a quick FAQ-style article about crime, immigration, anxiety, and me being spiteful about the most meaningless fucking things! I figured you could use the cheering up after the passing of Stephen Hawking, the sentencing of Count Dankula, and whatever that whole thing about Cambridge Analytica is about.


“Are you an anxious or laid-back person?”

As a few of my posts will tell you, I have a generally fuck-it-all attitude towards life and choose to admit the upsides of even the most dour situations. Other times, however, I’m downright paranoid. I was spackling this hole in my desk the other day when I read on the tube of putty that doing it without protective gear and in a poorly air-conditioned room might be bad for your health, so I immediately opened all windows to let in fresh air and also rushed into the shower.

Likewise, whenever I’m unsure about something with regards to my university program, the hours leading up to an email response from my lecturer are nightmarish. I like to have things sorted out and planned. I just find comfort in the knowledge that it doesn’t matter in the astronomical scheme of things. Chill, bruh. (But also don’t answer that phone call from an unknown number until you’ve Googled it. You never know.) Continue reading

Why am I so unfunny? (NEW Q/A)

As the year is drawing to a close, the holidays are approaching, and I’ve got procrastination to do, I have decided that yet another kinda-sorta FAQ (based more on IRL questions than submissions) would be a perfect substitute for my actually finishing my graphic designs for class. Also, there’s some Christmas-shopping you’re supposed to do or some shit. I can do that next month; buying gifts for people before an arbitrary point in time because tradition says so is kinda whatever. Let’s roll.


“Entertainment-wise, what have been your highlights of 2017 so far?”

The return of Twin Peaks solidified it as one of my favorite franchises of all time and inspired me to seek out some of the books; shows like MST3K and Samurai Jack made inferior but still charming comebacks; I have been exposed to such shows as Nirvanna the Band the Show and even “Eastern” ones like Paranoia Agent; a mind-boggling YouTube channel called Lasagna Cat proved to be the highest production value shitpost ever made… the list goes on. Oh and there were some good movies too. You know perfectly well what to stay tuned for. Continue reading

All my exams are handed in, my freelancing profile isn’t doing me any favors, and I am essentially on the closest thing I have to summer vacation. Now, it doesn’t matter on what day summer vacation starts for me, since it’s always going to precisely coincide with a rainy period either way (that’s Sweden for ya). So fuck it, this would be the perfect time to release another post where I answer general questions about myself. ‘Cuz you guys really love those, right? Just kidding, you’re not reading this.


“What do you hate most about YouTube these days?”

I guess the broken copyright claiming system still fucks YouTube creators pretty bad while favoring the claimants, no matter how legit. The fact that those users get demonetized while “family prank” channels and disturbing children’s videos featuring copyrighted characters get to stay online; that’s pretty terrible too. Oh and YouTube drama being constantly illuminated is getting kind of old I guess. Continue reading

HATE MAIL: PizzaGate Edition

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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #19

I may or may not have made a video on the Pizzagate conspiracy a while back, where I essentially made fun of the sort of thought processes that go into the theories surrounding it. The video in question raked in relatively more views within a short time frame than I’m used to and you can imagine that not all of the reactions were happy. Apparently, I wasn’t mocking paranoid morons who believe in bullshit either without data or in spite of it, but rather trying to cover up da troof while also being a child-hater. I definitely hate kids, guys, but that’s not WHY Pizzagate is fake.

In any event, here are some of my favorite dishes of salt, cheese and whine generated by the video:

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Tamie Robinett

Making fun of the suffering of little innocent children. You’re as bad or worse than the people committing the crimes. Remember that asshole when the time comes to put all these sick fucks away, remember your mockery of the one who’ve suffered. But don’t worry, if you don’t I certainly will. Good day
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Thanks for putting my mind straight, Tamie. Can you promise that you will also hold it to me when it inevitably turns out that the Earth was flat this whole time? I made a True Facts and Conspiracies video about that too, after all, and was at least equally ignorant in my comedic approach.

It’s really too bad Pizzagate is one of the most heavily debunked conspiracy theories in recent memory. Otherwise your schooling of me would have been totally valid and not just the ramblings of a tinfoil dipshit, right Tamie? Luckily, I know that most “Pizzagaters” are pretty skilled when it comes to grasping at straws so don’t you worry about ever changing your mind in accordance with evidence, T. You’re still a red-pilled free-thinker who’s miles ahead of all the sheep. Yay you, Cernovich. Continue reading

It is high time to answer more questions about myself, particularly if you consider the fact that I haven’t done one of these since the spring of 2014. But then again, I suppose it also depends on whether or not any of my very few followers give a shit about these Q&A posts. I mean, I only write about things that will get me many readers, right? Why would I write something simply because I feel like it? On that exact note, let’s get to some questions.


“Oh, did you write about [insert subject here] just so you could get a juicy and topical story for your blog? It’s so obvious.”

This is a summation of a question/accusation that shows up in a lot of the Hate Mail I get from angry idiots of most persuasions. Nevermind the fact that I run a non-monetized blog and have literally no incentive to write things just because I know it’ll get me hits. Either way, I only blog about shit I find interesting and have actual opinions on – hell, it doesn’t even need to be relevant for me to actually want to post about it. Continue reading

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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #18

This is going to be a big one, friends and foes, but we’ll start off small. Even though the type of irate comments I used to receive on this site have become less frequent over the years, every once in a while there’s been something in my inbox that’s worthy of my attention. This, folks, is where today’s messages come in. Spoiler: these will mainly relate to my taste in film and how I just “don’t understand” some of the movies I’ve panned. I’m fucking stoked already.

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Ironically, let’s start with a Twilight fan:

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Erin Whitmore

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what the hell! I mean just because you don’t like Twilight doesn’t mean other people don’t. You really should about what your saying before you say it because this is horrible. I think your just jealous that this is such a big hit and you can’t get your head around it because your so obsessed with bringing it down. What you need to do is be thankful that we actually have the technology to make these things and try to watch them again, but this time instead of picking out all the bad bits think about how this has changed the technology in the world and how it is good. Hope I put your mind straight and hope you get a grip and stop being so stupid to waste your time being cruel for no good reason.

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Your petulant feedback didn’t fall on deaf ears, Erin. I’ll start by addressing your point that “just because [I] don’t like Twilight doesn’t mean other people don’t”. As it happens, I have never once claimed that people “don’t” like Twilight. What I have done is elucidate the problems with the franchise and whether or not you choose to recognize it as complete shit is entirely up to you.

Also worth remarking is you pulling out the good old “you’re just jealous” drill, but this is definitely a unique usage. I’m used to people accusing me of being jealous of the fame and fangirls that popular entertainers have (I mostly don’t envy that, by that way), but to assert that I’m jealous of the fact that Twilight fans are so much smarter than me and have better taste in film? That’s definitely new! Way to think outside the box with the stock arguments there, Erin. I just wish it was as crushing or relevant as it was funny. Continue reading

HATE MAIL: Resurrection

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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #17

Greetings nimrods and welcome back to Hate Mail. Most of the comments this time will be “leftovers” that I considered putting in some of last year’s PewDiePie-themed Hate Mail entries, but I felt like it would just be more of the same: me trying to explain the same shit over and over to 9-year-olds (or really slow adults) who still don’t get the point of my disdain towards the whole Pewds phenomenon. And anyone who knows how I feel about PewDiePie knows how I feel about redundancy.

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However, there was something about the following piece of boo-hoo that made me say “Fuck it” and relapse in my addiction to dismantling fanboy bullshit. Special thanks to Maria, who writes this:

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Maria

You may dislike PweDiePie, and that’s fine! Everyone has opinions, but you know what separates the childish 12 year olds from the mature people? They say bad things JUST BECAUSE. WHat I mean is that ALL the bad things you said about him are mostly not true or just an opinion of yours… You may like long gameplays with every little detail of the game in it, and some people may prefer a quick funny look at the game!
When you say that he doesn’t review the games I just assume you didn’t do your research well enough cause he does it VERY OFTEN.

I understand why you wrote it… You wrote one article that had a lot of comments (mostly bros defending Pewds) and you got a lot of clicks, so you did another one! And yes, I am just adding to those who fell in your little game to get attention (wich I understand cause that’s what you gotta do to be noticed these days) but at least you should think of being remembered for good writing, not articles bashing someone “I don’t like”. You’re not a child, so don’t act like one.

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Ah, the feeling of returning home and finding that nothing’s changed (read: improved). You sure know how to ignite the nostalgia there, Maria. Well done.

I can tell that you’re already certain on why I wrote the article that started it all, Maria, but if you’d care to be corrected (you wouldn’t): I actually wrote it because I felt like it. I didn’t care how big it would get, I couldn’t give two shits about the attention, and I’ve no rat’s ass to offer about whether or not some pantywaist specifically requests my opinion on any given subject I write about. I don’t say things “just because” either; huge pop culture phenomena are going to be criticized whether you guys ask for it or not and I only do so if I actually have a definite opinion.

To be fair, I do appreciate the comments I get because my Hate Mail episodes are some of the funniest pieces I’ve ever published. Even so, the posts I care about the most are rarely read by as many people as, say, a random PewDiePie article that still gets people’s dildos in a twist 4 years later. Why can’t people be this mad at stuff I put more thought and effort into? Where are SoFlo Antonio‘s crybaby zealots? Continue reading

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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #16

Ever since I first wrote about a certain YouTube gamer, I have been receiving the most hilarious messages on my blog. I’m long overdue for some more PewDiePie-related hate mail and feeling tired of the illiterate kids I usually need to tackle, I decided to give an honorable mention to this one dude who showed up in 2014 to review my old as shit Pewdie article like he thought he was writing a fucking school essay:

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Aconite

Disregarding the blogger’s obsession with artificial fallacies – often applied erroneously anyway – and an insistence their enlightened ‘logic’ exalts their opinions into an arrogantly superior position to contempt others’, I must say the big picture is missed on his popularity, which does require a more analytical, holistic perspective. The reasons are his charisma (perpetually happy, expressive), sincerity (disingenuous or not), attractiveness (superficial as any field emphasizing presentation), marketing (integral to loyalty/persuasion) and acted enthusiasm, all possibly contrived but nevertheless appealing. There’s the fact, too, he’s comforting, positive and open to people who’re either lonely or depressed (correlation to angsty teenager demographic!?!?!) – occasionally even simply energetic to enhance others’ happiness during negative times.

However, I acknowledge certain criticisms, mainly his humour lacking depth (how academic). Nevertheless, I feel his persistence with humour, and the vast content available, compensates for these faults and I am not exactly inclined to believe “OHMGODZ, OVERRATED” or “OMHGODZ, LOW CULTURE” from whatever psychological compulsion compels someone to be harshly critical over such triviality as pop culture– almost fulfilling a similar agenda– if not for attention, hits…….

Oh shit, you got me!

You win.

By the way, PewDiePie is cheap, I agree, but he’s amusing. Additionally – certainly not incidentally – he’s seemingly a nice person who has charm, developing a bond with the viewer as any competent presenter does.

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Okay, so this is gonna have to be another sentence-by-sentence response, which is something I hate to do but since hatred is apparently that which fuels my everyday life: pucker up, Aconite.

“Disregarding the blogger’s obsession with artificial fallacies – often applied erroneously anyway –”

Fucking bravo, Thesaurus Rex. I’m just gonna post a link to this video before proceeding.

Right off the bat: where are the examples? For seeming like such a good student, you sure do leave out a pretty important part of your essay. And even if I assume that you’re talking about the popularity fallacy, how am I being “erroneous” in applying it to dumbshits who think popular equals good? Hand in a revised paper next week, Mr. McFly. Continue reading

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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #15

Hi guys and welcome to another episode of Hate Mail. Today I’m going to start with looking at a comment posted by Anonymous (a user, not the group with the silly masks) on one of my Onision articles. He or she writes:

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Anonymous

June 25, 2015 at 11:09 am

I love how ur oblivious to the fact he was probably joking.
He doesn’t even make advice videos lol. He gives advice, but he’s a comedian.
XDDDDDDDDDD

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It’s always so adorable when Onision’s fanboys mobilize to his defense just to parrot his “I was just joking” excuse.

I have a fairly straightforward question to you, Anonymous (and I use the term “anonymous” loosely since I know what your IP Address is): if Onision doesn’t make advice videos, why does he have so many advice videos? Or to elaborate some more: if he really “doesn’t make advice videos”, why then does he, as you say, GIVE advice? That is, give advice in his videos, kinda-sorta MAKING them “advice videos”? Yeah, pretty simple question, right? I’ll see if you can work something out. Continue reading