Category: Q&A’s/Hate Mail

Why am I so unfunny? (NEW Q/A)

As the year is drawing to a close, the holidays are approaching, and I’ve got procrastination to do, I have decided that another kinda-sorta FAQ (based more on IRL questions than submission) would be a perfect substitute for my actually finishing my graphic designs for class. Also, there’s some Christmas-shopping you’re supposed to do or some shit. I can do that next month; buying gifts for people before an arbitrary point in time because tradition says so is kinda whatever. Let’s roll.

“Entertainment-wise, what have been your highlights of 2017 so far?”

The return of Twin Peaks solidified it as one of my favorite franchises of all time and inspired me to seek out some of the books; shows like MST3K and Samurai Jack made inferior but still charming comebacks; I have been exposed to such shows as Nirvanna the Band the Show and even “Eastern” ones like Paranoia Agent; a mind-boggling YouTube channel called Lasagna Cat proved to be the highest production value shitpost ever made… the list goes on. Oh and there were some good movies too. You know perfectly well what to stay tuned for. Continue reading


All my exams are handed in, my freelancing profile isn’t doing me any favors, and I am essentially on the closest thing I have to summer vacation. Now, it doesn’t matter on what day summer vacation starts for me, since it’s always going to precisely coincide with a rainy period either way (that’s Sweden for ya). So fuck it, this would be the perfect time to release another post where I answer general questions about myself. ‘Cuz you guys really love those, right? Just kidding, you’re not reading this.

“What do you hate most about YouTube these days?”

I guess the broken copyright claiming system still fucks YouTube creators pretty bad while favoring the claimants, no matter how legit. The fact that those users get demonetized while “family prank” channels and disturbing children’s videos featuring copyrighted characters get to stay online; that’s pretty terrible too. Oh and YouTube drama being illuminated is getting kind of old I guess. Continue reading


O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #19

I may or may not have made a video on the Pizzagate conspiracy a while back, where I essentially made fun of the sort of thought processes that go into the theories surrounding it. The video in question raked in relatively more views within a short time frame than I’m used to and you can imagine that not all of the reactions were happy. Apparently, I wasn’t mocking paranoid morons who believe in bullshit either without data or in spite of it, but rather trying to cover up da troof while also being a child-hater. I definitely hate kids, guys, but that’s not WHY Pizzagate is fake.

In any event, here are some of my favorite dishes of salt, cheese and whine generated by the video:


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Tamie Robinett

Making fun of the suffering of little innocent children. You’re as bad or worse than the people committing the crimes. Remember that asshole when the time comes to put all these sick fucks away, remember your mockery of the one who’ve suffered. But don’t worry, if you don’t I certainly will. Good day
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Thanks for putting my mind straight, Tamie. Can you promise that you will also hold it to me when it inevitably turns out that the Earth was flat this whole time? I made a True Facts and Conspiracies video about that too, after all, and was at least equally ignorant in my comedic approach.

It’s really too bad Pizzagate is one of the most heavily debunked conspiracy theories in recent memory. Otherwise your schooling of me would have been totally valid and not just the ramblings of a tinfoil dipshit, right Tamie? Luckily, I know that most “Pizzagaters” are pretty skilled when it comes to grasping at straws so don’t you worry about ever changing your mind in accordance with evidence, T. You’re still a red-pilled free-thinker who’s miles ahead of all the sheep. Yay you, Cernovich. Continue reading

It is high time to answer more questions about myself, particularly if you consider the fact that I haven’t done one of these since the spring of 2014. But then again, I suppose it also depends on whether or not any of my very few followers give a shit about these Q&A posts. I mean, I only write about things that will get me many readers, right? Why would I write something simply because I feel like it? On that exact note, let’s get to some questions.

“Oh, did you write about [insert subject here] just so you could get a juicy and topical story for your blog? It’s so obvious.”

This is a summation of a question/accusation that shows up in a lot of the Hate Mail I get from angry idiots of most persuasions. Nevermind the fact that I run a non-monetized blog and have literally no incentive to write things just because I know it’ll get me hits. Either way, I only blog about shit I find interesting and have actual opinions on – hell, it doesn’t even need to be relevant for me to actually want to post about it. Continue reading


O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #18

This is going to be a big one, friends and foes, but we’ll start off small. Even though the type of irate comments I used to receive on this site have become less frequent over the years, every once in a while there’s been something in my inbox that’s worthy of my attention. This, folks, is where today’s messages come in. Spoiler: these will mainly relate to my taste in film and how I just “don’t understand” some of the movies I’ve panned. I’m fucking stoked already.


Ironically, let’s start with a Twilight fan:

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Erin Whitmore


what the hell! I mean just because you don’t like Twilight doesn’t mean other people don’t. You really should about what your saying before you say it because this is horrible. I think your just jealous that this is such a big hit and you can’t get your head around it because your so obsessed with bringing it down. What you need to do is be thankful that we actually have the technology to make these things and try to watch them again, but this time instead of picking out all the bad bits think about how this has changed the technology in the world and how it is good. Hope I put your mind straight and hope you get a grip and stop being so stupid to waste your time being cruel for no good reason.

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Your petulant feedback didn’t fall on deaf ears, Erin. I’ll start by addressing your point that “just because [I] don’t like Twilight doesn’t mean other people don’t”. As it happens, I have never once claimed that people “don’t” like Twilight. What I have done is elucidate the problems with the franchise and whether or not you choose to recognize it as complete shit is entirely up to you.

Also worth remarking is you pulling out the good old “you’re just jealous” drill, but this is definitely a unique usage. I’m used to people accusing me of being jealous of the fame and fangirls that popular entertainers have (I mostly don’t envy that, by that way), but to assert that I’m jealous of the fact that Twilight fans are so much smarter than me and have better taste in film? That’s definitely new! Way to think outside the box with the stock arguments there, Erin. I just wish it was as crushing or relevant as it was funny. Continue reading

HATE MAIL: Resurrection


O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #17

Greetings nimrods and welcome back to Hate Mail. Most of the comments this time will be “leftovers” that I considered putting in some of last year’s PewDiePie-themed Hate Mail entries, but I felt like it would just be more of the same: me trying to explain the same shit over and over to 9-year-olds (or really slow adults) who still don’t get the point of my disdain towards the whole Pewds phenomenon. And anyone who knows how I feel about PewDiePie knows how I feel about redundancy.


However, there was something about the following piece of boo-hoo that made me say “Fuck it” and relapse in my addiction to dismantling fanboy bullshit. Special thanks to Maria, who writes this:

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You may dislike PweDiePie, and that’s fine! Everyone has opinions, but you know what separates the childish 12 year olds from the mature people? They say bad things JUST BECAUSE. WHat I mean is that ALL the bad things you said about him are mostly not true or just an opinion of yours… You may like long gameplays with every little detail of the game in it, and some people may prefer a quick funny look at the game!
When you say that he doesn’t review the games I just assume you didn’t do your research well enough cause he does it VERY OFTEN.

I understand why you wrote it… You wrote one article that had a lot of comments (mostly bros defending Pewds) and you got a lot of clicks, so you did another one! And yes, I am just adding to those who fell in your little game to get attention (wich I understand cause that’s what you gotta do to be noticed these days) but at least you should think of being remembered for good writing, not articles bashing someone “I don’t like”. You’re not a child, so don’t act like one.

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Ah, the feeling of returning home and finding that nothing’s changed (read: improved). You sure know how to ignite the nostalgia there, Maria. Well done.

I can tell that you’re already certain on why I wrote the article that started it all, Maria, but if you’d care to be corrected (you wouldn’t): I actually wrote it because I felt like it. I didn’t care how big it would get, I couldn’t give two shits about the attention, and I’ve no rat’s ass to offer about whether or not some pantywaist specifically requests my opinion on any given subject I write about. I don’t say things “just because” either; huge pop culture phenomena are going to be criticized whether you guys ask for it or not and I only do so if I actually have a definite opinion.

To be fair, I do appreciate the comments I get because my Hate Mail episodes are some of the funniest pieces I’ve ever published. Even so, the posts I care about the most are rarely read by as many people as, say, a random PewDiePie article that still gets people’s dildos in a twist 4 years later. Why can’t people be this mad at stuff I put more thought and effort into? Where are SoFlo Antonio‘s crybaby zealots? Continue reading

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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #14

Hello and welcome, my friends! This is a special episode of Hate Mail, as it challenges the legitimacy of easily my most-read article to date, about Directioners poking fun at the Lucker family right after Mitch Lucker passed away. Old news, right? Well, yeah, I think it’s old news too, but here’s the thing: I’ve only recently started receiving comments that either question my legitimacy as an author or even directly tell me that I am indisputably, no-joke, 100%  wrong about what transpired back then. Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be a fun one!

Most persistent of all is a user who goes by the moniker “Carsyn”, and they began questioning my article as far back as in December of 2014 with the following rebuttal:

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You fucking bitch. They never said that. You’re just starting rumors and you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. »______________________________________________________________________________________«

Nothing short of poetry.

When I saw this comment the first time, I naturally responded with: “Okay, where’s the data that suggests none of this happened?”

I mean, is she saying that all of those Tweets and Tumblr entries that kept getting passed around back then were just fabricated by trolls and/or 4chan users? And if so, was that done in a way that can be meaningfully proven? Another thing I asked her was: “Oh, and what am I getting myself into exactly? If you don’t think I’m used to tweens throwing unwarranted shit fits on my blog, you can’t be a frequent visitor.”

But as chance would have it, I spoke too soon about her not being a frequent visitor to my blog. Months passed and sure, things were quiet, but I’d like to think that during that time Carsyn was still hanging around my page, lurking in the shadows somewhere, waiting to strike again (probably with an even sharper comeback this time). Why? Well, because on April 27 at 5:56 pm, that same user suddenly posted this in the exact same comment section: Continue reading


O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #13

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Never mind the fact that all the hate speech is directed towards a black musician and her black compatriots from a white male, under the pretence of supporting good taste in music. If you don’t like her music don’t listen its not that hard, I don’t like it myself and I manage to survive without hearing any of it.
There are a lot of similar pop artists making terrible music, why don’t you spew hate towards them? What has she done personally to you to deserve such treatment? Does the color of her/their skin have something to do with it??
Think critically before you support such behaviour. Its her job to make popular music, that’s how she pays her bills and takes care of herself. Don’t blame her for catering to the tastes of the public.
Grow the Fuck Up

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You know what I really love? I love how Nicki Minaj’s music is literally so indefensibly bad that people have to pull the “you just hate her because she’s black and/or empowering women you indisputable racist and sexist”-card EVERY fucking time you say something bad about it. No dipshits, I don’t need to be a racist to think her music’s shit, nor do I need to hate women, and if you really need to pull that card when defending her music, that says more about the quality of the music than it does about whomever you’re pulling your desperate bullshit cop-out on.

Also, you got it wrong — I’ve made fun of plenty of shitty crowd-pleasing pop music that isn’t made by Minaj. Or a black person in general. Try to get things like this right before calling me out on something, Sam. It’ll make you look like marginally less of a dumbass. Continue reading