Category: Journal


 

What better way to spend the Fourth of July than to look expose the bajeezus out of the anti-American SJW propaganda that kid’s movies have – and have had for a long time, it turns out. Ladies and gentlemen, my exposé of the Satanic anti-white messages of Spy Kids. I am extremely lonely but at least I’m eating Mexican food out of spite while rewatching the export.

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VIDEO: Re-master of old short

Mostly because Bach is more difficult to copyright claim than Pruit Igoe.

The above clip recently surfaced after a team of adult grown-ups got tired of feminists ruining their favorite kid’s movie franchise and initiated a campaign to remake the most evil, brainwashing, culture-destroying movie ever made – Star Wars: The Last Jedi. This is comforting news as it proves not everyone has turned into an emotional soy boy who cares about mainstream-peddled shit like sexual assault or immigrant families getting torn apart and caged at the border, when urgent matters like “too many girls in da Star Wars” plague the nation. Manliness wins and feelings lose, bitch! Take that, Hillary!

Now, a lot of people have made fun of the idea that an army of basement-dwelling piss-babies could possibly make a movie on the same level as trained Hollywood professionals to begin with, but hold your horses! There is, at last, a clip! Enjoy. And also “live long and wizard Harry”.

I’m so glad this is the thing that got certain people to go the fuck outside and promptly change our minds about wanting them to do that. 2016 was a good one, guys.

 

Just in time for Infinity War, I give you this fun, way more structured little movie to watch in its stead. This month, the mighty Jesus “CarpenThor” Christ and Wilfred Chipwhistler finally join the metahuman rebels at The Sanctuary to battle Tharkseid’s forces before the humans do it their way.

Meanwhile, a conflicted Beast Boi tries to figure out how to best deal with his past, Lex Jewthor decides to find his dimension-hopping wife Lois himself, Diana worries that her grandmother Madame Völva will do something dangerous along with Rocket Grodd, Norman Stillbourne puts his new powers to use, Loker Christ discovers he may not be the peak metahuman experiment after all, Misty’s abilities reach a new level, Chesterfield fights the manipulative powers of Sinistor, Mannibal leaves Kingpinferno behind, and something big hits the news in San Andreas. Also, a major character makes a comeback! I guess.

So I was browsing the Internet the other day when, at long last, I came across what has to be the worst fucking webpage on the entire planet. That webpage is the tl:dr WordPress blog of some spindly, arrogant fuck named Victor.

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In which I examine the brand new Disney film that brings to mind both Pooh and Peter Pan and Finding Neverland except that was another “Christopher Robin” movie that was like a Peter Pan thing. Again: sparkling new shit. I cried because I remember Winnie the Pooh. And am old.

“Hey, what’s the deal with Weinstein?” *chirp chirp*

Another year, another night of rich Hollywood celebrities congratulating each other whilst pretending to care about the technical aspects of film. In fairness, though, there were a lot of “smaller” films and unexpected/unique choices among the Oscar nominees this year; a horror comedy among the Best Picture noms, a comic-book film up for Best Adapted Screenplay alongside a biopic about The Room, female directors, black directors, something as visionary as Blade Runner 2049 getting attention at all… Hell, just the fact that a bizarro Fantasy romance about a woman who sleeps with a sea monster got the most noms and WON is pretty remarkable.

This, to me, solidifies what a varied and interesting year for movies 2017 was. Sure there’s the usual Oscar stuff like “let’s nominate The Post because Streep, Spielberg, and Hanks” and a few Best Animated Feature decisions I do not wish to talk about, but in general the choices were interesting; I had a hard time predicting the winners as accurately as I normally do. Continue reading

SpaceX having just pulled a Heavy Metal on us all by sending a Tesla convertible to Mars, certified truth-exposer Stephen Dawking decides to return to his roots and show just how easy it is to debunk Elon Musk’s latest, brainwashing lie about what the Earth looks like from “space”! Just to reiterate: WAKE THE FUCK UP!

look at me, i’m dismissive of the mainstream narrative (specifically the one about astronomy). i’m smart now. hee hee.

Black Panther? More like Back Planther! I got something else for ya! After the arbitrary mid-season hiatus our medicore heroes are back! CarpenThor is forced to work alongside his old nemesis Lex JewThor, as well as Beast Boi, as the state-wide hunt for metahumans continues. The heroes’ only hope is to defeat Tharkseid and prove to the world that it is not about where you’re from or what you look like; it is what you succumb to. Pretty deep, right? Nah.

Meanwhile, Misty finds out what her telepathy can achieve when combined with her newly learned oracle-powers, Diana is told the truth about her grandmother Madame Völva, Liz goes looking for Beast Boi, Mannibal joins forces with Gaddafisk’s mob with the aim to use the manhunt to his advantage, Rocket Grodd enters Dreamspace to find that it has been mysteriously altered, Sinistor has a meeting with a colleague, and Norman Stillbourne initiates the Final Experiment. Oh shit! What could THAT mean? Spooky!

Also, I’m just joking. Here are the real, honest, non-exaggerated reviews of Black Panther, the best movie ever made since the last time Marvel did a superhero movie. This one has a black lead for once (kinda like the Blade trilogy).