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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #19

I may or may not have made a video on the Pizzagate conspiracy a while back, where I essentially made fun of the sort of thought processes that go into the theories surrounding it. The video in question raked in relatively more views within a short time frame than I’m used to and you can imagine that not all of the reactions were happy. Apparently, I wasn’t mocking paranoid morons who believe in bullshit either without data or in spite of it, but rather trying to cover up da troof while also being a child-hater. I definitely hate kids, guys, but that’s not WHY Pizzagate is fake.

In any event, here are some of my favorite dishes of salt, cheese and whine generated by the video:

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Tamie Robinett

Making fun of the suffering of little innocent children. You’re as bad or worse than the people committing the crimes. Remember that asshole when the time comes to put all these sick fucks away, remember your mockery of the one who’ve suffered. But don’t worry, if you don’t I certainly will. Good day
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Thanks for putting my mind straight, Tamie. Can you promise that you will also hold it to me when it inevitably turns out that the Earth was flat this whole time? I made a True Facts and Conspiracies video about that too, after all, and was at least equally ignorant in my comedic approach.

It’s really too bad Pizzagate is one of the most heavily debunked conspiracy theories in recent memory. Otherwise your schooling of me would have been totally valid and not just the ramblings of a tinfoil dipshit, right Tamie? Luckily, I know that most “Pizzagaters” are pretty skilled when it comes to grasping at straws so don’t you worry about ever changing your mind in accordance with evidence, T. You’re still a red-pilled free-thinker who’s miles ahead of all the sheep. Yay you, Cernovich.

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Heather Adams

fuck you dick hole
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Is that an invitation? If so, please do it in far-fetched code next time. I don’t speak any other language.

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Kyle Williams

YOU MUST BE BEING PAYED …..OR YOU JUST LACK EMPATHY OR EVEN A BRAIN…..YOU ALSO THINKING ITS A JOKE MEANING YOUR JUST AS TWISTED AS THEM YOU SICK FUCK……
PLUS I BET YOU ORDER OF THE MENU BECAUSE YOUR NOT GOING TO BE PULLING ANY GIRLS ARE YOU,
GORMLESS SICKO PEADO…ALERT
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None of your guesses (convincing as they may be) are correct, Kyle. The real reason is that my cerebrum was recently infected by a reptilian parasite with a superhuman resistance to tinfoil and Breitbart articles, rendering me completely assimilated by the Illuminati pedo muslim lizards and their evil, totally 100% proven activities. I’m writing to you through a brief window of clarity but they should be regaining control over me shortly. I’m coughing and writhing slightly already.

Also, protip: if you’re gonna do the “I bet you don’t get any chicks” trump card, try to make sure you’re not talking to the most aggressively aromantic and pro-loneliness person on the planet. At least accuse me of being in allegiance with the machines.

Kyle here was a little extra determined when it comes to hammering in how malignant I am, so he posted a different comment in a separate thread that relates to the name of me and my brother’s YouTube channel. I might as well include it in this section of the article:

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Kyle Williams

Let just rearrange the letters in your title …….
UUMMMmmm???KensFarm pictures …
after watching your pizza gate I think animals would be up ur street and I know how you all twist worlds ,letters ,numbers .symbols …so its the new name for your show because there comes a lot of shit from a farm….perfect name for your sick shit show….I better stop before I come up with a more reptillion..dame.
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You realize that when you go out of your way to take the name of my YouTube page, Skefnarm Pictures, and do enough mental gymnastics that you come up with a hidden message about my supposed fondness for pig-fucking, you’re actually doing a better job at making fun of conspiracy theorists than I ever could, right? This is probably the most severe case of Poe’s Law that I’ve had the pleasure of having an unpleasant encounter with and honestly, it may seem a little too perfect.

I know what you’re probably thinking (because I’m an Illuminati shill and thus I have that power). Many parts of this comment, especially the misspelled usage of the word “reptilian” and the assertion from a conspiracy theorist that people like ME twist words and symbols to suit a narrative, seem pretty damn telling that this guy is in on my satire. To be frank, though, it’s impossible to tell a parody of a dipshit from the real thing in this day and age. I’m not even sure which assessment is safe as opposed to sorry.

But then again, I did receive this while in the process of typing this article:

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Kyle Williams

please YOU don’t bring STAR WARS INTO THIS..LOL….
Anyways did you find rouge one a better type of filming of star wars rather than even Force awakens
AND I DID NOT THINK ID BE TYPING THAT…SO ALL DIFRENCES ASIDE STARWARS WELL??..
LOL..Hay lifes to short..
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Sarcastically replying “Poe’s Law game strong” is not a Star Wars reference but whatever. You do you, Kyle.

Oh and in spite of how it may seem, I’m actually highly appreciative of the feedback I receive with regards to my Pizzagate coverage (which has nothing to do with the fact that it provides me with paragraphs worth of content). So please, keep commenting about how brainwashed I am. Here’s the video, just to be safe:

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BONUS HATE MAIL: Since responding to other people’s comments is what I do to replenish my youth, I’ve decided to include some of other Hate Mail I’ve been getting in recent months. I’ll take a longer episode over having too many posts dedicated to Hate Mail. I don’t love being hated THAT much.

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A teenager trying to survive adult discrimination

Thank you, Thank you for being one of the many cocky adults out there.

Do you feel sexism is a problem, or racism? Because if you do you need to rethink your whole idea of this article.

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Fun fact: I was actually a teenager myself when I wrote the Teenagers article. Having ostensibly grown up and realized that many of the people I was indirectly describing aren’t changing around me, I guess I’ve technically changed my mind on the whole teenagers thing. People are, in fact, still idiots when they’re adults.

Consider this my official retraction.

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Jason

The reality that you have said “Making Dr. Seuss roll in his grave is one thing, but to dig up his corpse and rape it?” makes me find it hard to trust your opinion anyway because that is a ridiculously extreme thing to say.

Also, sorry but The Cat In The Hat is a good film. Actually I’m not sorry.

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Hi Jason. Thanks for noting my use of hyperbole in the opening paragraph of this review I wrote three years ago (four at the time of this getting published). Regardless of whether hyperbole is to your tastes, it doesn’t really change the quality of The Cat in the Hat as a movie and your conclusion that it “is a good film” (a statement of which you are “not sorry” to boot) doesn’t ring entirely true if you consider all the dumb, lazy, aesthetically rancid and respectless bullshit that happens in it. But oh well, to each their own.

This wasn’t an entirely unreasonable comment and Jason did write back to me, arguing that opinions on movies cannot technically be true or untrue. If you subscribe to this idea, maybe you should opt for something more along the lines of “I really liked it” as opposed to “It was actually good”?

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Anonymous

If you hate them, then why do you behave like them online?

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This one is also from the Teenagers article so you can imagine what’s being insinuated by Mr. Anonymous (WordPress gives me your IP and email addresses when you comment so take the moniker with a grain of salt). Too bad he or she didn’t provide any examples or explanations. Otherwise they may have been really onto me.


That’s enough. I need to do what I’m supposed to and finish my research paper. Nah, just kidding, I got Best Picture nominees to watch.

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