And you thought the

And you thought the “bags of sand” comments were weird.

If you know me, you know that I’ve long cited online satirist George “Maddox” Ouzounian as one of my main inspirations in writing, comedy and shit-eating arrogance. Every once in a while, however, it just happens that you find something out about one of your life-long objects of admiration that makes you feel like the Turks had it right. These past few months have been a textbook example of that.

Back in 2014, Maddox launched a podcast with Dax “Dick Masterson” Herrera of understandably controversial Men Are Better Than Women and Dr. Phil fame, titled The Biggest Problem in the Universe, and if you know the aftermath of its conclusion in 2016, you know precisely what I’m on about. I’d like to talk about it real quick because (A) this shit needs to spread, and (B) this shit is right up there with LordKat’s dirt on the behind-the-scenes drama at Channel Awesome. You know, in case you’re so neck-deep in Internet bullshit that you care more about nonsense like this than whatever’s on Drama Alert.

But the stuff I’m about to tell you isn’t just a question of Markiplier and KSI having a childish tiff on Twitter, iDubbbz calling Leafy names, or Channel Awesome running a generally shit-tier business. This involves purposeful attempts to destroy people’s lives, implied rape accusations, mysteriously leaked personal information, and other hilarious stuff.

Back to the beginning

For reference: unedited photo of Dick Masterson.

Fig. 1 – unedited photo of Dick Masterson.

It all started when The Biggest Problem in the Universe podcast ended. After two years of priceless humor and synergy, Maddox somewhat abruptly announced that the show was getting cancelled and ended things on a lame clipshow episode wherein he also thanked all past contributors. That is, amazingly, with the exception of his co-host Dick Masterson (fig. 1), who wasn’t mentioned once and whose absence from the finale was never given an explanation. As you’d imagine, fans were confused.

Then Maddox proceeded to kick off his so-called podcast network (whatever that means), called Madcast Media, with an underdeveloped show named The Best Debate in the Universe. Still, Dick was nowhere to be found – until a wholly unrelated podcast titled The Dick Show emerged here, and from this point on, things only got weirder.

On his brand new series, Dick spent several episodes in a row describing the murky circumstances of The Biggest Problem‘s demise, as well as Maddox’s behavior behind the scenes. This included redirecting the defunct Biggest Problem website to his Madcast Media homepage, releasing the old show’s bonus content for free without Dick’s consent, and also barely speaking to Dick outside of cryptic emails, while urging mutual friends of theirs to stay the fuck away from him. On that note, Maddox himself refused to speak up on the matter and tell his side of the story, claiming that doing so would “damage” Dick/Dax’s “personal and professional reputation”, only adding to the confusion. Soon enough, however, the following video appeared out of nowhere on The Biggest Problem‘s Facebook page and that’s when things truly went to shit (don’t bother trying to comment here nor on Maddox’s Twitter lest you get perma-blocked):

So basically: aside from calling Dick a liar just because he himself mistakenly believed the two were still friends by the end of the show’s run, Maddilox also accuses his former co-host of embezzlement and being a rape apologist, if not outright a rapist, since that’s a totally reasonable conclusion to draw from finding an 8chan thread about rape with the Dick Show name on it that otherwise has no tie to Dick’s content. So much for being a pioneer of Internet trolling.

That doesn’t matter, though, because Maddox went on to share this video of his to his personal “George Oz” Facebook account, using these out-of-context sound clips of Herrera making disagreeable statements, coupled with the fact that Herrera’s satirical persona is basically a card-carrying misogynist, to make sure all of their mutual friends took Maddox’s side. Oh, and also to send the social justice police on Dick, ultimately getting him banned from various comedy groups the two had been part of and ensuring he’d never find work in LA again. Class act, George.

It became very clear very fast that Maddox was taking a Matthew 12:30 approach to this. And just to be absolutely safe from the riled-up feminists and apostles of political correctness he had sent upon Dick, he went so far as to write a follow-up post (still on his private Facebook), disavowing some of the things he published back when he was still a “manly pirate” who wrote about groping women and whatever the fuck. Meanwhile, he’s still content with having Rucka Rucka Ali (creator of such songs as “I Wanna Rape” and “What Does The Black Say”) as his new co-host and storing this in his website’s archives:

And yes, I get that this is satire but the key is to look at this shit through the eyes of someone who DOESN'T fathom satire and/or wants it banned.

And yes, I get that this is satire but the key is to look at this shit through the eyes of someone who DOESN’T fathom satire and/or wants it banned.

This hypocrisy and more was pointed out in the 18th episode of Dick’s podcast, which also revealed where all of this madness truly had its genesis: at a wedding in 2015, where Dick ended up going home with Maddox’s ex-girlfriend, prompting him to lose his shit and gradually end whatever friendship he may have once had with Masterson. It’s like the article he posted as a joke in 2012 about how sorry he is for everything and how messy his love life is wasn’t actually an April Fool’s joke after all.

I’m obviously not gonna go through all the ways in which Dick tears Maddox’s video apart but by God is it fucked up. Listen here, if you will:

One of the few people, aside from the surprisingly unscathed “Sean the audio engineer”, to not pick any one side in all this was Asterios Kokkinos, a Something Awful regular and digital cyberdemon who would frequent The Biggest Problem with bits and guest appearances. The result of his attempts to reconcile with both of these guys was him having private information of his leaked on Reddit by a user very likely to be Maddox’s current girlfriend, who many claim is also the source of Maddox’s going soft on us and turning into the people currently branding JonTron a Nazi for stating his (albeit not very well-read) opinions.

By now, Asterios is loyal to The Dick Show and the rest is history. Masterson’s podcast is pulling in big numbers on Patreon, his fanbase is vast and dedicated, and several of Maddox’s fans have jumped ship after learning the true story (raising the question of how sustainable his career is at this point, especially with that yet-to-be-updated book of his). At the time of this writing, Sean is no longer doing audio work for both podcasts back-to-back and we also have Mad Cucks so there’s that.

Point is: Maddox’s victory was short-lived but I’d wager things are far from over.

Things only got “kinda worse” again when one Jesse P.S. of Pod Awful, the second show on Maddox’s network, recently started poking his cock at the hornet’s nest and purposefully attempted to make the drama between Madcast Media and the Dickheads worse in various ways (that often involve doxing, harassment, and stalking of Dick Show participants and fans). But really, that’s a whole story in and of itself and if you really want to know more than all the shit I’ve already tried to summarize semi-consisely, you can just listen to Dick Masterson’s podcast or pray that Kiwifarms comes back online.

Throwback to when his website header wasn't dominated for a two-year-old announcement for a book that still has no title or additional info.

Throwback to when his website header wasn’t dominated by a two-year-old announcement for a book that still has no title or additional info.

Present Day

I guess it all comes down to this: can I still keep calling Maddox an inspiration the way I have for all these years? Not only has his apolitical and unrelentingly hateful persona pretty much faded away, but he has gone against so many of the other things he used to stand for (like hating the word “podcast“, ads, and people who post topical content on a strict schedule) that the more I listen to his show, hoping against hope that he’s still in there somewhere, the more clear it becomes that Maddox is basically dead. At this point, I only listen to the show because it’s fun hearing him get his ass handed to him by Rucka (whose music I still love since teenhood) and such guests as Michael Malice and Mike D. Oh and the creator of Loose Change was on there too because of course he was. How much you wanna bet Christopher Reeve would get invited if he was still around?

And then, of course, it’s sometimes important to separate the artist from his art. I will maintain that old-school Maddox is a major influence on my writing, because let’s be honest, you all know he’s not the guy who’s trying to ruin a person for being “too offensive”, and/or stealing his bae, and takes out the ban hammer whenever basic criticism rears its ugly head.


Rest in peace, o badass pirate captain. May your legacy remain untarnished by whoever this George asshole is.

That’s all for today. Always know where your towel is, and don’t defent cuckoldry.

EDIT: I should make it clear that unlike many of the people in the Dickhead community (which can be, I dunno, SLIGHTLY echoe-y in terms of politics), I don’t necessarily take issue with the fact that Mad-dix has changed his mind on some subjects, so much as I deplore his chicken shit methods of trying to save face. I wouldn’t even have been bothered by the fact that he did a Best Debate with Dylan Avery, if either party actually learned anything useful during the debate or if it didn’t seem like Maddox was just playing nice with his former enemies. Changing your mind is one thing (if rather detestable in the eyes of many a Masterson fan); going back on your word to play it safe is another.


We did not, no.

On another note, I want to be objective regarding the two post Biggest Problem products. As disappointed as I am in Maddox, his project usually tackles more interesting topics, is more structured and evidence-based than Dick’s “what makes you a rage” format and dudebro convos, provides satisfying instances of Maddox getting roasted, and, in spite of Maddox’s behavior lately, often features guests who make for an interesting and polarizing discussion. I also like how, whereas Maddox maintains his “arrogant tough guy” persona for the show (fooling no-one), Rucka Rucka seems to drop his trademark “wigger” shtick and might just be the most likable person on there.

The Dick Show, meanwhile, is a lot more fun and accordingly has a funny fan community, but it lacks the heated disagreements that The Biggest Problem had (his guests include Mike Cernovich and some manly man who desperately wonders where all the manly men went). I guess it’s true what they say about lightning.

EDIT 14/11/2017: A lot has happened since I first published this (surprisingly popular) blog post. I didn’t go back to add anything in particular, but as of this update, it’s more clear than ever how right I was; things were NOT over!

First of all, here’s what has happened so far to the best of my memory:

  1. Madcows tried to trademark the Biggest Problem in the Universe title as its sole owner. Spot one mistake. Also Dick tried to retaliate by buying a billboard on George’s home street out of spite, but… no cigar.
  2. Maddox’s current partner went the extra mile and started going after Dick’s girlfriend, i.e. the same girl who broke the heart of George “Manly Pirate” Maddox that one wedding night in 2015, by calling the latter female’s workplace and trying to get her fired because her boyfriend (!) is running a podcast that allegedly incites violent harassment. It gets even better…
  3. A fucking COURTROOM DRAMA took place, resulting in Maddox’s girlfriend getting a restraining order, even after Maddox’s bold attempt to represent her in court with a folder of “mean Tweet” evidence (yes, seriously) while dressed as an “Armenian Babadook” (Dick’s eye-witness testimony verbatim).
  4. Several Dickheads have tried talking to Maddox via text messages and Twitter DMs, one of whom was treated to Maddox – or possibly Jesse P.S. – pretending to be a policeman at one time, and a person “working for George” (even though the text was still sent from George’s private number) at another. Or maybe those were two different Dickheads at different times. I don’t know, okay? I am just a boy.
  5. Maddox tried to censor any mention of Asterios or PeachSaliva in any of his old YouTube videos via the new editor because HOLY SHIT DUDE, CALM DOWN. The old live episodes of The Biggest Problem, however – still up and monetized.
  6. His new book FINALLY dropped in October but due to all the shit you see above, it was off to catastrophical sales (not to mention bad reviews) and outright depressing stats.
  7. And now we’re here: Maddox is suing not just Dick, but also Asterios, Patreon, MadCucks, Asterios’ EMPLOYER and whoever else for all that’s happened because everything is everybody else’s fault. Everything’s there in a linguistically inept court document that (no joke) reads like a pissed-off teenager’s fanfiction (except with more emotional buzzwords and apostrophes). Defamation, harassment campaigns, harmful Tweets, harmful memes, cyber mob attacks, supposed stealing of revenue/traffic, supposed interference with the book sales… mostly stuff that Maddox himself is also guilty of, basically.

Somewhere right now, a judge is reading a document written by a grown man whining about a comedy album that calls him a cuck, meanie-heads on Twitter, and MadCucks in general, contemplating things like “what in God’s name happened?”