It’s really quite amazing how little it takes to convince Creationists of anything. It’s almost as if people who still insist on thinking that the Earth is 6000 years old are kind of easily duped.

In Kentucky, a supposedly 100% accurate replica of Noah’s ark recently finished construction after having been in the works since 2010. Its purpose is to prove that the stories of Noah’s ark are true (which is about as effective as building a life-sized version of Hogwarts to prove wizards exist) and to enlighten those who have been blinded by the lies of science. Right, ’cause everyone with their eyes open know that scientists are bullshitting us about the notion that animals are kind of prone to killing each other, regardless of how much it’s raining outside the impossible cruise ship they’ve been shoved into. It’s not like you can go outside or visit Australia for six minutes to verify this. A similar thought process goes into the Creationist “theory” that scientists are also lying about evolution, even though people getting themselves killed playing Pokémon Go should be proof enough that Natural Selection is a thing.

Nevermind the fact that hiring construction workers and investing millions of dollars in your bullshit project doesn’t prove that one single dude built an ark of his own thousands of years ago. Nevermind the fact that stuffing a glorified museum with fake animals doesn’t dispute the fact that the boat still wouldn’t contain enough space for every single known species on the planet (although I guess the animals not mentioned in the Biblical tale were just randomly created by God post-flood). Nevermind the fact that there are fucking dinosaurs on this ship because, yes, Creationists do in fact think that man and dinosaur co-existed. The biggest problem with this shit is that it was allowed in the first place, and also the amount of people I’ve seen try to defend its authenticity. Again, no degree of “obviously bullshit” is enough as far as the followers of Ken Ham are concerned.

When this story reached my homeland and Aftonbladet covered it, the commenters didn’t really see a logic error with this whole thing. One of my favorite comments came from a guy who tried to disprove the claim that Noah, if he existed, was a 600-year-old alcoholic who couldn’t possibly have built this kinda vessel alone. How, you ask? Well by using the fucking Noah movie by Darren Aronofsky as his source, saying that “the movie proves he was a righteous man” (who is portrayed as having wanted to kill his own grandchildren because of something he THOUGHT God wanted him to do, ironically making it an unusually realistic religious film, and was also aided by magical stone angels not mentioned in the scripture but sure). Creationists totally don’t base their world-views on fiction, folks. It’s all facts and evidence with these guys.

idiots

Proof that ‘Lord of the Rings’ is based on a true story.

It is estimated that 100 million US dollars were spent on the making of this (probably not even seaborne) zoo cruiser. People said yes to this shit, and other people are defending their own scientific illiteracy and wearing their own ineptitude as a badge of honor, as though distrusting scientifically grounded claims is something to be proud of when you simultaneously believe that a project such as this constitutes as evidence that one man once upon a time built a boat large enough to contain two of every animal on the planet to protect them from an all-loving God who felt like drowning everything one day. They will use the mere existence of this overfunded building project as proof that this was all a thing that happened – at least if Ken Ham’s statements on the whole affair are anything to go by.

No wonder Americans are dumb enough to un-ironically consider a Trump presidency. Excuse me while I move to Enceladus (provided it actually exists and isn’t just another lie put forth by people who know what they’re talking about and have studied this shit for decades. Pah! Dorks.)


That’s all for today. Always know where your towel is!  

 

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