I should make this a tradition. Every time a new superhero movie comes out, I should make another video like this. Because God knows, everyone would rather see my deliberately blasphemous CarpenThor bullshit for free on YouTube than pay money to see Civil War or X-Men Apocalypse again.

The plot: Lex Jewthor returns from the depths of the ocean, where a powerful alien artifact has given him powers similar to those of Los Santos’ savior Jesus “CarpenThor” Christ. Meanwhile, a laid-back shop girl named Misty starts crushing on Jesus and a mysterious figure named Agent Essex enters the picture. Wilfred Chipwhistler is mildly amused the whole time.

This is why my socio-linguistics exams aren’t getting done. I hate everything. Enjoy!