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O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #17

Greetings nimrods and welcome back to Hate Mail. Most of the comments this time will be “leftovers” that I considered putting in some of last year’s PewDiePie-themed Hate Mail entries, but I felt like it would just be more of the same: me trying to explain the same shit over and over to 9-year-olds (or really slow adults) who still don’t get the point of my disdain towards the whole Pewds phenomenon. And anyone who knows how I feel about PewDiePie knows how I feel about redundancy.

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However, there was something about the following piece of boo-hoo that made me say “Fuck it” and relapse in my addiction to dismantling fanboy bullshit. Special thanks to Maria, who writes this:

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Maria

You may dislike PweDiePie, and that’s fine! Everyone has opinions, but you know what separates the childish 12 year olds from the mature people? They say bad things JUST BECAUSE. WHat I mean is that ALL the bad things you said about him are mostly not true or just an opinion of yours… You may like long gameplays with every little detail of the game in it, and some people may prefer a quick funny look at the game!
When you say that he doesn’t review the games I just assume you didn’t do your research well enough cause he does it VERY OFTEN.

I understand why you wrote it… You wrote one article that had a lot of comments (mostly bros defending Pewds) and you got a lot of clicks, so you did another one! And yes, I am just adding to those who fell in your little game to get attention (wich I understand cause that’s what you gotta do to be noticed these days) but at least you should think of being remembered for good writing, not articles bashing someone “I don’t like”. You’re not a child, so don’t act like one.

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Ah, the feeling of returning home and finding that nothing’s changed (read: improved). You sure know how to ignite the nostalgia there, Maria. Well done.

I can tell that you’re already certain on why I wrote the article that started it all, Maria, but if you’d care to be corrected (you wouldn’t): I actually wrote it because I felt like it. I didn’t care how big it would get, I couldn’t give two shits about the attention, and I’ve no rat’s ass to offer about whether or not some pantywaist specifically requests my opinion on any given subject I write about. I don’t say things “just because” either; huge pop culture phenomena are going to be criticized whether you guys ask for it or not and I only do so if I actually have a definite opinion.

To be fair, I do appreciate the comments I get because my Hate Mail episodes are some of the funniest pieces I’ve ever published. Even so, the posts I care about the most are rarely read by as many people as, say, a random PewDiePie article that still gets people’s dildos in a twist 4 years later. Why can’t people be this mad at stuff I put more thought and effort into? Where are SoFlo Antonio‘s crybaby zealots?

Speaking of idiots, Maria, I’ve addressed some of your regurgitated points in the following episode:

You’re not saying anything new and your baseless accusations have already been seen to. So do try something other than the “you just want attention” rejoinder. You’re not a dipshit, so don’t act like one.

UPDATE: If you’re gonna make the case that I’m wrong about PewDiePie’s lack of reviewing skills, try looking at the date on which the original article was posted to see if it was reasonable for me to make those claims back then and reconsider whether I truly need to be corrected based on that. If you still think I do, consider using examples instead of just saying words. Hoping to hear from you again soon, Maria. Say hi to Cool Cat from me.

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Now for some of the older ones. For starters, here’s one that’s only half hate:

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Dontworryaboutmyname

Wow. I don’t know whether to hate you for being such a dick to everyone who ever comments on your article or to admire your ability to come up with witty come-backs against Pewdiepie supporters.

Just want to point out that this was all kind of uncalled for, like it was something that couldn’t have just been ignored, no. This got under your skin just for it not being within your sense of humor, where you come off to me as being the type who needs to feel important, intellectual and above others.

Felix gets a lot of negativity just for using Youtube, whether it be for the money or just because he legitamately wants to entertain his viewers. I don’t care. If he’s doing it for the money, it’s working for him and for Youtube, and (give him some credit) I find it kind of smart. Other than that, he’s not doing anything to invoke people to need to express their hatred. At this point, it’s just annoying to hear every other person trying to convince supporters that he’s terrible when supporters are just there appreciating the videos, not constantly antagonizing unprovoked non-supporters for not liking him (where it’s the other way around).

I’m not even upset with your negative opinion at this point – I’m upset with the way you chose to express it and with the way you chose to handle the people commenting (I’m expecting you to be ruthless with mine, as well). I’ve concluded that you’re just a brilliant asshole. It’s one thing to be entertaining and another to be outright rude to everyone.

You criticize Felix for not giving a proper review of the games he plays like he’s “supposed to,” yet you sat here giving a review of him packed full of bias like actual reviews are not supposed to be. Give a real, unbiased review next time.

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“Wow. I don’t know whether to hate you for being such a dick to everyone who ever comments on your article or to admire your ability to come up with witty come-backs against Pewdiepie supporters.”

The latter.

“Just want to point out that this was all kind of uncalled for, like it was something that couldn’t have just been ignored, no.”

I could have ignored it but I chose not to since there isn’t much of any valid reason as to why I shouldn’t be allowed to speak my mind in the form of a caustic opinion piece/review. And I’ll admit, if you choose to label my article as an attempt at just that, a review, it becomes marginally worse. So don’t.

“This got under your skin just for it not being within your sense of humor, where you come off to me as being the type who needs to feel important, intellectual and above others.”

A wise man once said that it’s ironically high praise if someone thinks your worst failing is arrogance.

“Felix gets a lot of negativity just for using Youtube, whether it be for the money or just because he legitamately wants to entertain his viewers.”

Right, and the point isn’t to antagonize Felix Kjellberg. The point is that his content isn’t original or interesting enough to warrant the type of godlike idolization he gets. Whenever people tell me to calm down because he’s “just a guy who plays video games on YouTube”, I feel like that unintentionally proves my point.

Yeah, he IS just a guy who plays video games… and being fairly annoying in the meantime to boot. Why DO we give a shit about this guy? Why IS this person a larger name on YouTube than anyone else who does the same shit? Can you answer that or is it truly as stupid as I already know it is?

When something’s overhyped to such insane degrees, you bet your ass I’m writing about it – regardless of certain things that are so fucking outlandish I’d rather forget about them.

NO! That DID not happen!

NOPE! That DID not happen!

 

“… it’s just annoying to hear every other person trying to convince supporters that he’s terrible when supporters are just there appreciating the videos, not constantly antagonizing unprovoked non-supporters for not liking him (where it’s the other way around).”

I’m sure it’s the other way around in some cases, yes – as in PewDiePie’s haters bothering his fans with unsolicited opinions as opposed to vice versa. If it was ALWAYS the other way around, however, I probably wouldn’t have had the incentive to write about PewDiePie in the first place. Again, much of it has to do with how his fans act; not just how they build him up, but how they tear down those who don’t.

“I’m not even upset with your negative opinion at this point – I’m upset with the way you chose to express it and with the way you chose to handle the people commenting (I’m expecting you to be ruthless with mine, as well). I’ve concluded that you’re just a brilliant asshole..

Thank you!

“You criticize Felix for not giving a proper review of the games he plays like he’s “supposed to,” yet you sat here giving a review of him packed full of bias like actual reviews are not supposed to be. Give a real, unbiased review next time.”

It’s not so much about how you’re traditionally supposed to create a review, but more about making your content entertaining or making it in a clever and interesting manner. Yes, I often write in an exaggeratedly angry way (whether or not my article was ever meant to qualify as a “review” is of course arguable), but just as Internet critics like the Nostalgia Critic simply have that as their reviewing style, so too do I. I’ll take it over the Pewdie formula.

I wrote my post in a way that I personally found entertaining, and my advice if you dislike it is that you simply stick with articles that are written for a less “vitriolic” audience in the future ’cause my writing style hasn’t really gone anywhere these past four years. As for how I deal with the backlash, I only really rev up the nasty comeback machine if I find the comments themselves to be nasty enough to deserve it. I’ve posted a handful of other ‘Hate Mail’ episodes if you need examples (boy, I’m being real meta in this one).

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Speaking of people who get hit for talking shit, meet Lei:

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Lei

Wow, I know this was written a while back, but I hate you (^.^;) Sorry. I know everyone is entitled to their opinion (as Pewds keeps reminding us bros) but, well, fools who have nothing more to them than hate – and hate enough to waste a LOT of time to write about something they dislike with such fervour – are just a waste of space. If you dislike him, well and good, but if you really have so little left in your life that you have to hate on someone, I pity you. No, like I said, I hate you. I apologise for not being strong enough to get over the fact that you hate an *apparently money-grubber* who (SHOCKER! Sit down first!) runs a charity. I’m 21, and a bro for life.

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That’s fine, buddy. I forgive you. In fact, I’ve come to expect that you Bros are too balls-deep in a swamp of asshurt to handle the fact that not everyone is going to blindly approve of your precious idol, regardless of whether or not he runs a charity since that has no actual bearing on the quality of his content.

One of these guys put coins in a homeless man's cup once, for instance.

One of these guys once put loose change in a homeless man’s coffee cup so it’s all good (NOTE: Details are shifty as to whether or not they let him finish the coffee first.)

I’ve also given up any and all hope on trying to make you crybaby dipshits get that writing criticisms – something I still only get major shit for when I blog about YouTubers but not movies or music – is no indication (or proof) that I lead some sort of sad life where there’s nothing left to do but “hate”. Speaking of which, you’re one to talk about hate when direct hatred is exactly what you opened up your comment with. Now whose life is automatically not worth living, Lei? Assuming that yours was to begin with.

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Now this next commenter, who goes by George, was so smart and witty that he had to post the entirety of his thoughts in two separate comments. First he writes:

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George

You miss the entire point my friend. It’s a comedy act, a unique and very personalized comedy act. His channel goes into the realm of “let’s play” and walkthroughs, even reviews, but those are all stage setting.

It’s just a comedy act, some people like it, some don’t. Personally, I think some videos are funny, and some aren’t. But you can’t have a great sense of humor if you don’t even get what he’s going for haha.

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And then:

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George

Also, in this situation, there’s no such thing as a gimmick, a stupid used up routine, a dumb overused scream.

There is success and money. Hate the guy to your hearts content, and by all means let him get under your skin so much you have to repeatedly blog about it, but in the end, realize that he’s got both those things despite anything you think or say and nothing nothing you can or will do is going to change that.

Dude can be annoying sometimes, but you have to respect an individual who takes something they are passionate about, no matter how ridiculous it seems to other people, and turns it into millions of dollars a year!

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“You miss the entire point my friend. It’s a comedy act, a unique and very personalized comedy act.”

In what way did it escape me that this is a comedy routine? Do I miss the point because I don’t find it funny in spite of it allegedly being “unique”? As in, screaming at video games and filming those reactions isn’t something anyone has thought of previously? Is that what you’re saying, or am I missing your point about which point I’m missing?

“His channel goes into the realm of “let’s play” and walkthroughs, even reviews, but those are all stage setting.”

And I’d love it if he used that to create something smart and informative as opposed to making it all about his noises and sex jokes.

“It’s just a comedy act, some people like it, some don’t. Personally, I think some videos are funny, and some aren’t. But you can’t have a great sense of humor if you don’t even get what he’s going for haha.”

Being as you’ve already failed in making a case as to why I don’t understand what Pewds was going for this whole time, I guess that must mean there’s nothing deficient about my sense of humor then. As if it wasn’t evidence enough that I don’t watch PewDiePie in my time off. “Haha”.

“Also, in this situation, there’s no such thing as a gimmick, a stupid used up routine, a dumb overused scream.”

ughh

How is that not precisely what PewDiePie is doing? The fact that this is basically the essence of PewDiePie’s entire existence isn’t going to go away just because you make an absolute statement about it.

“There is success and money. Hate the guy to your hearts content, and by all means let him get under your skin so much you have to repeatedly blog about it, in the end, realize that he’s got both those things despite anything you think or say and nothing nothing you can or will do is going to change that.”

Read some of my previous Hate Mail episodes (see, there I go again) and you’ll see that most of my writing about PewDiePie is due to fans making shoddy attempts at defending him. Guess what your comments just resulted in, Jetson?

Also, get this: I already know the statistically richest man on YouTube has success and money. And contrary what I’m sure you wish was the case, I’ve never given two shits about what effect (zero) my writing has on that fact. Again, read some of my Hate Mail entries. I’ve tackled most of your arguments already.

I think I’m starting to see why I’ve held back on posting this episode actually.

“Dude can be annoying sometimes, but you have to respect an individual who takes something they are passionate about, no matter how ridiculous it seems to other people, and turns it into millions of dollars a year!”

I don’t have to do anything. It’s no more astounding than the fact that something as shitty as Twilight or Transformers makes money at the box office.

All thighs considered.

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Now I know what you’re thinking. “But Victor, some of these comments are still a year old! It’s 2016 now, surely people can’t still be this stupid and use the exact same rebuttals?” And you’re right. It’s actually been a while since the last batch. Maybe people have finally moved forward and gotten smarte—

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Amilanthior

He seems to be doing something right, making all that money, meanwhile, I don’t see you being rich, do I? Hmmm, no, actually! Perhaps you should find a way to make that much, instead of bagging people.

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Just… bye.

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