“Beauty and the Alien” is a stupid as fuck and just plain wrong and disturbing sci-fi romance made in GTA V Rockstar Editor that’s basically Twilight meets Beauty and the Beast meets Alien vs. Terminator meets Small Soldiers. And also GTA V.
Tracey De Santa is a young, tough-as-nails lifeguard from Los Santos who doesn’t take crap from no one. Being the daughter of a known criminal, she’s an outcast; she feels lonely and disconnected from most people her age and finds herself constantly sexualized by all men around her. Who knows? Perhaps the love she truly needs is… not of this world?
The galaxy’s most wanted criminal, a terror-mongering scientist named Professor Monochrome, has come to planet Earth to test his latest creation: a genetically modified alien whose main purpose is to hunt and destroy all living things. But The Alien’s superpowers are faulty, and he finds himself wanting more out of his existence when one day he encounters a young and beautiful Earth girl named Tracey, who creates feelings within him that he’s never felt before. Ew (not because it’s an alien, but because it’s love in general).
Meanwhile, the Galactic Federation has sent out their most fearsome space ranger, codenamed The Derpinator, to capture Monochrome and eliminate The Alien. He’s known as the galaxy’s greatest hero, yet he reaches Earth with no regard or respect for human life, focusing only on his own plight to destroy a misunderstood (not evil) Alien and save the galaxy, ready to terminate anyone who crosses him. So who is the hero, and who is the real monster?
This film is in no way a rip-off of Lilo & Stitch.
It’s a tale of constant adventure as The Alien tries to flee from both the Earth military and The Derpinator, all while Monochrome tries to manipulate Alien’s newfound love towards Tracey in ways that cause him pain and thus reignite his hunger for destruction. Or some shit, I dunno.
Oh and there’s a subplot with Michael, who feels just as neglected by Tracey as she does by everyone else (the only genuinely heartfelt and emotional part of the movie), and also some weird purgatory dimension where you go when you die, but only die for real if a bunch of demonic old guys with guns kill you since you get to live if you kill yourself in their world. This took me weeks to finish. Great fucking movie, bring the family you stupid idiot.
My brother Oscar (editing advice)
William Tell Overture
My brother Oscar
Adrian von Ziegler
My friend Ellen for being a
test subject test audience