He's less dog-shaped in real life.

He’s less dog-shaped in real life.

Well, it finally happened. Nine years and approximately three billion miles later, NASA’s New Horizon probe has reached its final destination, Pluto, bringing us closer to what was once thought to be the most distant planet of our solar system than we’ve ever been. I’m impossible to satisfy, however, so I’m just gonna brush this off and ignore NASA until they get us up close and personal with Eris. Get on it, geeks!

No but seriously, this is pretty fucking awesome. I’ve been obsessed with our solar system and the way it works since I was about 7 years old, and getting to see a planet such as Pluto this clearly for the first time, well, it’s a pretty sweet experience for someone who loves astronomy almost as much as he loves writing about movies in his free time.

I just really hope that this isn’t gonna be another “comet landing” story, where the importance of the scientific achievement at hand is pretty much ignored because a cult of sanctimonious dipshits are too busy bitching and moaning about the fact that one of the scientists involved wore a T-shirt with sexy women on it that was made and given to him BY A WOMAN and yet HE’S the one who gets shit for being “sexist” (sic). Luckily, however, most of the people involved in this mission look like they’re wearing more casual clothing so thankfully, it’ll probably be too late when the Tumblr feminists find something else to cry about.

Until then, congratulations NASA. And humanity. And Pluto, for having such a bangin’ profile!

That’s everything for today. Until next time, always know where your towel is.