O B L I G A T O R Y    H A T E    M A I L    #14

Hello and welcome, my friends! This is a special episode of Hate Mail, as it challenges the legitimacy of easily my most-read article to date, about Directioners poking fun at the Lucker family right after Mitch Lucker passed away. Old news, right? Well, yeah, I think it’s old news too, but here’s the thing: I’ve only recently started receiving comments that either question my legitimacy as an author or even directly tell me that I am indisputably, no-joke, 100%  wrong about what transpired back then. Ladies and gentlemen, this is going to be a fun one!

Most persistent of all is a user who goes by the moniker “Carsyn”, and they began questioning my article as far back as in December of 2014 with the following rebuttal:

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Carsyn

You fucking bitch. They never said that. You’re just starting rumors and you don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. »______________________________________________________________________________________«

Nothing short of poetry.

When I saw this comment the first time, I naturally responded with: “Okay, where’s the data that suggests none of this happened?”

I mean, is she saying that all of those Tweets and Tumblr entries that kept getting passed around back then were just fabricated by trolls and/or 4chan users? And if so, was that done in a way that can be meaningfully proven? Another thing I asked her was: “Oh, and what am I getting myself into exactly? If you don’t think I’m used to tweens throwing unwarranted shit fits on my blog, you can’t be a frequent visitor.”

But as chance would have it, I spoke too soon about her not being a frequent visitor to my blog. Months passed and sure, things were quiet, but I’d like to think that during that time Carsyn was still hanging around my page, lurking in the shadows somewhere, waiting to strike again (probably with an even sharper comeback this time). Why? Well, because on April 27 at 5:56 pm, that same user suddenly posted this in the exact same comment section:

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Carsyn

This is stupid. Get over yourselves. So what if some directioners poked fun? They weren’t the only ones. Other band fandoms make fun of Suicide Silence, too. And you’re not threatening them. Mitch died a few years ago. This argument is pointless. By you saying, “directioners poke fun”, is bogus. I’m a directioner, and I don’t make fun of them. All of your information is false. I doubt any directioners told Kenadee to kill herself. I also doubt they called her father an “emo fag”. So please, stop. You’re just some low life loser who’s trying to find something interesting in their life. And starting an argument on a blog isn’t an appropriate way to get attention or find something to do in free time. Every band makes fun of other bands. There is NO point whatsoever to make a huge deal out of directioners saying something about Suicide Silence. It was pathetic of you to type up an essay about this death and what people said. If it was the other way around where Suicide Silence makes fun of directioners, you wouldn’t care. All of you just want to argue because you think you’re right even when none of you are. Mitch is dead. From wherever he went, he probably wishes none of us would fight over who’s wrong or who’s right. Think about it, the guys from One Direction will die someday too. There’s nothing you can say or do that’ll make Mitch come back. Therefore, making this blog argument irrelevant and pointless. »______________________________________________________________________________________ «

So, within those 4 months it took Carsyn to get back to me on my request that she provides some actual proof that I was wrong, she instead apparently changed her mind completely and decided that Directioners DID poke fun at the Lucker family, but that it’s okay because other people do stuff like that all the time. Yeah, so threatening the children of dead celebrities is just a thing that people do, I guess. I wonder how many months it’ll take her to reply to me if I ask her to provide concrete examples there too.

But wait, it gets better!

That’s just the first couple of sentences. She then changes her mind AGAIN and says that “all of [my] information is false”, and all she has in terms of “proof” THIS time is the following vacuous statement (I’m quoting it directly with all grammatical errors intact): “By you saying, “directioners poke fun”, is bogus. I’m a directioner, and I don’t make fun of them.”

Ooh, too bad, Carsyn. Your counter-point that not ALL Directioners were guilty of acting up on various social networking websites after Lucker’s death was SO close to being relevant, but alas, you ignored the part of my article where I explicitly acknowledged that not all One Direction fans were to blame for this online debacle. Better luck next time, Carsyn.

Also, I bet you’re patting yourself on the back like crazy over your little “gotcha” moment where you asserted that I posted this blog post solely to “get attention” (?) and “find something interesting to do in life” (?). Nevermind the fact that this is one of many articles I’ve written and that writing itself is my hobby as opposed to making false propaganda about random bands – instead, I’ll simply let you know that desperate fanboys and other subsets of dipshits have already tried to pull the “durr, u just want attention” cop-out on my ass and that I’ve refuted it every time. But, just to reiterate: I post to my blog for no other reason than I feel like talking about this and that. Whether or not I get attention is irrelevant, even though I love reading hate mail from morons who had their feelings hurt by random blog posts from 3 fucking years ago.

On that note, Carsyn, way to go on proving how irrelevant and pointless this article is by writing a wall of text about how irrelevant and pointless it is. I wish I could forget this debacle too, Carsyn, but that won’t happen for as long as the hate mail keeps pouring in. And on a final note: thanks for pointing out that me putting reprehensible scumbags in their place isn’t gonna bring Mitch Lucker back to life. Lord knows, I was so sure that me writing a blog post on WordPress.com was gonna bring back a zombified version of him at some point. Well done, Faraday.

I wrote the last three paragraphs in response to Carsyn at 9:09 pm and this time I only had to wait 30 minutes for a reply.

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Carsyn

Yeah he died 3 years ago and you act like being an idiot will bring him back. Why write a stupid article on him? And no, I was not patting my back. Sorry you didn’t get the excitement of your day 😦 And really dumbfuck? I know that this worthless website won’t bring an”zombiefied” Mitch back. But hell, you people are fucked up and fight about it like its going to make a difference and it’s pathetic. I’m sick of getting notifications from your stupid blog. So by all means, keep wasting your time on here and never move on 🙂 »______________________________________________________________________________________ «

Oh well congratulations, Carsyn. You know that my website won’t magically bring back Mitch Lucker. Then you’re probably also smart enough to decipher by yourself that I don’t think writing to ignorant dipfucks like you is gonna magically bring him back or otherwise “make a difference” either. I know it’s overly optimistic of me to expect any modicum of actual intelligence from your side, Carsyn, but I do like to throw a dog a bone every now and then.

Don’t like receiving notifications from my website? Awww well boo-hoo ‘cuz I’m only gonna reply to your bullshit for as long as you choose to share it. Also, I have already explained to you WHY I wrote about Mitch Lucker so I’m not gonna do it again.

I know you’re probably sitting there, Carsyn, thinking to yourself “Man, I sure taught him a lesson”, and for the love of God, you absolute madman, KEEP thinking that. It only makes it all the more hilarious to write back to you.

Sincerely, someone who hopes that your genes are never carried on and that natural selection does its job on you

P.S. Keep calling my blog “stupid” too, Carsyn. It really stings when you consider that it has hundreds of thousands of views and that butthurt fuckheads like you are still writing me about it three years later. Point taken, Carsyn.

P.P.S. Sorry I didn’t use any emoticons in my reply. It might have been easier for you to understand that I was trying to be witty if I used smileys instead of comebacks that I actually thought about.

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Carsyn

This guy is a fucking asshole. »______________________________________________________________________________________ «

I’ve heard worse.

This marks the end of the Carsyn saga thus far, but because she put me in the perfect mood, the rest of this post is gonna include some bonus exchanges from the same comment section that I haven’t used in a Hate Mail episode yet. Enjoy!

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Cathrine

Listen I don’t know who you think you are. But you absolutely do not need to go around saying that people are untalented, they are obviously more talented than you. Yes I am a fan but even if I wasn’t, I would still say what you have said is rude. For example, I can’t stand Justin Beiber, BUT! I don’t say he’s untalented. Or even Taylor Swift, I don’t really care for her music but she’s still very talented. So next time you need to consider that other people are going to react to this kind of crap. »______________________________________________________________________________________ «

Thanks for the comment, Catherine. Feel free to elaborate as to how, say, Justin Bieber exceeds me in terms of talent. Or better yet: elaborate as to how I’m unqualified to speak my opinion on mediocre musicians. Again, is the fact that angry fangirls and fanboys are inevitably going to come crawling out of the woodwork supposed to be reason enough for me to not talk about celebrities I don’t like? Oh brother.

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Victoria

Can I just say that I love One Direction and I love Suicide Silence, Of Mice and Men, Bring Me the Horizon, and a bunch more? Is that so hard to accept? You can’t judge the whole fandom for what some idiotic people did. It’s not fair. I’m still trying to accept Mitch’s death and everyone talking shit about Directioners just makes it harder. R.I.P Mitch Lucker. »______________________________________________________________________________________ «

Everyone talking shit about Directioners makes it harder, huh? Yeah, I guess all the death wishes directed at MitchLucker’s five-year-old kid and all the talk about how Mitch Lucker deserved to die was all fine and good but as soon as the Directioners got called out on their pestilential bullshit, that’s when it got too far.

Also, I was never under the misconception that all Directioners ever are responsible for this. Funny, I feel like I’ve explained this already.

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Olivia

Grow up. No one dissed Mitch, or said his DAUGHTER should kill herself because her father is a ‘weak emo fag.’ Get over yourself. »______________________________________________________________________________________ «


Before I finish this post, I’d like to share another comment. It’s not a hate comment but it does belong in the “most important Hate Mail yet” because it’s potentially going to help you understand the following:

Why do I answer Hate Mail?

Well dear readers, a comment I replied to on a previous Hate Mail entry might hold the answer to that question! Here is the comment, as well as the answer:

»______________________________________________________________________________________ « Anon

I’m sorry but really, do you have to take the bait hook and sinker? Giving attention to these types of comments is exactly the entire reason why they write them. They are looking for a reaction and you are delivering it gift wrapped with express shipping. Also highlighting spelling mistakes is rather pathetic when you consider that they are ether: – Under 13 – Easily entertained – Only know enough English to spout their favorite references – Don’t know how to use a spell checker There are literally hundreds of people like this on the internet and if you’re going to focus on any trollish remarks you receive then perhaps you need to do learn some self-control. Anon, age 16 »______________________________________________________________________________________ «

You know what? If I can manage to get an entire Facebook account taken down without even having to report it myself, as with the Yuki Rose incident, I feel like it’s worth it in the end, whether the person is a legit troll or not. It doesn’t matter what they were trying. They were pestering me, I exposed them, I got ’em off Facebook (at least in the case of Yuki Rose). 0-1.

Additionally, I don’t give two shits how old or non-English you are. If you’re trying to prove how much smarter than me you are, being good at forming coherent sentences helps. That, and sometimes grammar errors are funny as shit.

Also, I only ever respond to hater mail publicly when they comment on things I’ve written, as I find those to be more relevant than all the other trolls on the Internet that you mention. This episode of Hate Mail was an exception, admittedly, but you do have a point that there are too many idiots out there, meaning that my blog will get less clogged up if I go back to my usual routine of only replying to hate mail that gets posted DIRECTLY to my site. But I digress; the point is that, every once in a while when people try to fuck with you, an oppurtunity opens where it’s remarkably easy and amusing to fuck back.

Thanks for everything, guys. Always know where your towel is!