I wish I could find an equally relevant comic but with a less shitty art style.

Inquiry: can we finally agree, both as feminists and as a species, to stop pretending that women can’t be idiots? Even when acknowledging all of our legitimate societal inequalities and issues of rights in-between the genders, isn’t it time soon to draw some fucking line in the sand for where women can stop getting away with doing the exact same asinine horse shit that they spend hours of their time calling men out on? I think it kind of is. And no, I’m not talking about those actually productive scenarios where women consciously try to put men in their shoes and make them understand the nature of patriarchal society (accuracy of thesis may vary). I’m talking about things that happen every day without anyone being either observant enough or in the possession of enough basic self-consciousness to actually notice it.

I can’t think of an eloquent way to start off this article, mostly because I’m so done with everyone’s shit today, so here is a recent Tumblr post about how women feel about getting called shallow. Oh wait, I’m sorry, I totally phrased that the wrong way. I meant here is a Tumblr post about women being mislabeled as shallow for having certain tastes, yeah that’s it.

moronic idiot dipshit fuck

Ah, Tumblr literacy.

Good for you, ladies. I’m glad that that’s the way you see yourselves. Except, oh wait, here’s what you guys ACTUALLY say:

short 4 short 3 short 2 short 1

And here’s one that’s from Tumblr, just to come full circle. Notice the amount of notes and thus implicit approvals.

short 5In summary: Fuck off with your “Oh I dunno I kinda sorta like tall guys” bullshit. You know. You’re not fooling anyone. Aside from other girls who want to avoid being self-critical as desperately as you. And no, I’m not saying that all girls are inherently shallow — which is what you’re already saying about guys so maybe I should be saying that, huh? I’m simply pointing out that not all girls aren’t shallow — also what you’re saying.

Yeah, shocking, isn’t it? Sometimes you can be superficial dipshits who have warped relationship standards and won’t settle for anything less than the fantasies that society has imprinted on your semblance of a cerebrum. It’s almost as if shallowness wasn’t gender-specific this whole time, right? Here is the above Tumblr post (the one at the beginning of the article) revised for accuracy by yours truly:

Clearly I need to pursue a career in literature.

Clearly I need to pursue a career in literature.

The one slim justification that feminists seem to have for thinking body positivity is less important when it comes to males is that the media doesn’t go out of its way to tell men that they’re of no worth if they can’t be used as eye candy and sex ocjects. Isn’t that a sweet fucking lesson? “It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy with crippling depression or self-esteem issues (other problems that are only important when they affect women, apparently); as long as you’re more privileged than women, even though it has no bearing on whether or not you’ll exhibit mental problems and depression, your problems just aren’t that important.”

Normally, though, the girls just plain aren’t aware that they’re often as shallow as the guys they simper about. So it’s either obliviousness or the “people have it worse than you in aspects that are irrelevant to your mental health” cop-out. Pick one.


This entire clusterfuck of bullshit is getting almost eerily similar to how women on Tumblr will often ask men to check their privilege™ in what’s usually an indirect implication that men’s problems don’t matter because there are people who have it worse out there, even though women will flip their shit if you point out how insignificant their problems look next to women in third-world countries getting their vaginas sewn shut and acid tossed in their faces on a daily basis. They will then go on to preach about how no one’s problems are to be invalidated on the mere basis that there are people out there who have it much worse. Y’know, that thing that they themselves do to people who are more systematically privileged than them.

I know that many of these posts are written by different people and that there are varying levels of radical stupidity on the spectrum of feminism. But I’ll bet you anything that most of the women who tell men to check their privilege™ have also at some point supported the messages that no one should feel like their problems don’t matter just because others have bigger problems.

Same thing with shallowness. The exact same women who explain to men again and again that not ALL girls have these absolute demands for guys to look a certain way, have probably also at some point made the sweeping generalization that ALL men EVERYWHERE want skinny women with big breasts, perfect hair, ridiculously specific quantities of make-up, and strong curves. THEY never assume that different men just like different things and that’s why it seems that there are so many standards to live up to. THEY never figure that it’s just a preference and that men can be open to anything they’re attracted to. No no, men are always shallow idiots with “ridiculous standards” and women always “just have preferences”. Guys are never open to anything other than socially constructed female beauty ideals; girls are never more superficial than simply having vaguely defined preferences (no matter how many times they bitch about wanting a guy like Magic Mike). The fucking end.

You know what the thing is, though? Shallow people aren’t the problem. I give them a lot of shit on my blog, sure, but they’re easy targets and nothing I deem worthy of actual worry. The real problem is people who try to battle behavior that they have no trouble practicing as long as they either (A) label it differently when they’re the ones doing it, (B) use their systemic oppression as some sort of half-baked justification for doing it, or (C) just aren’t self-aware enough to know that they’re doing it.

Humans don’t generally like having to see two sides of a coin. Even posts like the one at the beginning of the article, which claim that women don’t have absolute tastes, still enforce the following absolute idea: “Women are always open to anything and never have shallow or unrealistically high attractiveness standards, and men are never open to anything and always have unrealistically high attractiveness standards”. And you know what? Men are the same. They think they’re the ones with different preferences that aren’t that important in the end, whereas women are the ones that care too much about looks and have stupidly high standards.

But then you have miserable saps like me. Those poor fucks who feel alone in their ability to see the world for what it is and realize that, HEY, both genders are guilty of many of the same types of bullshit; shallowness and hypocritical world-views notwithstanding. Those of us who have accepted that any person of any gender can be physically attracted to this and that (which isn’t always the same as society’s beauty standards, for either sex), just as any person of any gender is a superficial twit if that’s ALL that matters to them.

So basically: you’re all fucking stupid, and I’m great. Take care and listen to this if you wanna hear more fun talk about genital mutilation (23:30-40:27):

Source.                                                               _____

Buh-bye now