wiill of timBreaking news: Fans of the Wheel of Time books have been treated to an unusual surprise that comes with, well, good news and bad news. The good news is that, apparently completely unbeknownst to both the general public and even those associated with late Wheel of Time author Robert Jordan, the world’s first live-action adaptation of the famous Fantasy book series in question has been produced and aired on FXX on the night of February 8th! The bad news: ho boy is it not very good!

I mean… come on, guys! Were you just desperate to get an adaptation done as soon as possible? A Song of Ice and Fire gets one of the most well-produced shows on HBO and The Wheel of Time gets a cheap pilot that looks like one of dramatizations of historical events you’d expect to see on some boring History Channel documentary? What’s with all those clothes that look a touch too modern? Why are the supporting actors so bad? Why is the CGI even more bad? Why was the production kept secret even from those associated with Jordan himself?? And who the hell is Lews Therin’s son? He had a son in the books? And was that son really named Lews Junior? Are you guys sure?

I don’t how to feel about this and I don’t know if I’m overly eager to see the possible continuation of this stuff. I guess some of the shots are good and that it plays with Lews Therin’s insanity kind of cleverly. Billy Zane as Ishamael is, hmph, not how I imagine the character, but honestly, it could have been worse. Max Ryan as Lews Therin/”The Dragon” proves that well enough.

Overall, though, this franchise deserves a lot better than something so cheap-looking, especially when the competition is something as spectacularly made as Game of Thrones. Sorry Wheel of Time fans, but perhaps the wheel weaves something better in the future.

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That’s all for today. Always know where your towel ruby-hilted dagger is.

EDIT, 11/02/2015: Okay, so I just did some digging around and found out the ultimate insult of all this: the real reason the Wheel of Time pilot seemed so cheap and rushed is that, well, no one cared if it would be good or not because the REAL reason it was even made in the first placed was that the creators needed to have something made by a certain date in order to maintain the rights to adapt the franchise. It was literally something they slapped together at the last minute out of desperation to extend a contract, not something they genuinely wanted to be the beginning of a good and faithful adaptation. Then they aired it in secret at 1 a.m. hoping that no one would see it and notice how badly they messed up. Blimey!

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