I gotta tell ya, not since muslims decided to lose their collective shit over the trailer for a comedy film that makes Birdemic: Shock and Terror look like a serious attempt at filmmaking has terrorism looked this cute and depressing at the same time.

interviewOkay so here we have James Franco and Seth Rogen, right? Two celebrities who decide that they wanna make a movie where they do an interview with renowned North Korean manbaby and America’s favourite punchline, Kim Jong-un. But, oh teh noez, right when the film in question is released, the computer systems of its distribution company, Sony Pictures, get hacked by group of terrorists who leak multiple forms of sensitive Sony information and, I swear to God I’m not making this up, threaten “9/11-style terrorists attacks” on several movie theatres should the screenings not be pulled. Now, if the uninentional reference to Kim Jong-il’s evil plan in Team America: World Police – “9/11 times 1000” – wasn’t enough of a blatant giveaway, guess which country the FBI esimate that these hackers are linked to? That’s right, suckas – North Korea!

teamica

I wish I knew, Kim.

But alas, theatres aren’t gonna show either of those films. Believe it or not, there was actually a plan at first to show Team America in The Interview‘s stead as a joke, but since Americans apparently take seriously the threats of a dictator who throws a fucking fit over a satirical comedy, the folks at Paramount decided, as a precautionary measure, that there’ll be no Team America screenings either. To be fair, though, Americans aren’t the only ones who let themselves get bullied by North Korea, as the film might also be pulled in Sweden where I live. Coincidentally, this whole debacle took place around the same time as a police raid of the Sweden-based company premises of The Pirate Bay resulted in the death of the website, so you gotta wonder if it’s part of the plan; an attempt to make sure that the movie doesn’t even exist as mp4 files online.

Not that it’s gonna stop anyone, right? I can actually think of few people as stubbornly ballsy as pirates and qualified hackers so, in all honesty, I think it won’t be long until The Interview exists for our viewing pleasure in some form, legal or otherwise. I mean if it doesn’t work out in the world of piracy, maybe we could still make illegal bootleg DVD’s with gramatically incorrect Korean subtitles? Backstroke of the East we could call it. I’ll rewatch my Team America DVD until then.

I’m not gonna say much more so here, have a link to Saturday Night Live‘s take on the matter (featuring Dr. Evil):

What a time to be alive! Charlie Chaplin would be proud.

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