OBLIGATORY HATE MAIL #11


Our first comment today is by RipCake and it was actually posted to my PewDiePie sentence mix on YouTube. He writes:

RipCake
1 day ago:

If you hear me out, I can tell you that PewDiePie isn’t in for the money or a “Big Douche”. If you don’t want to… fine with me. So here’s the basic points of why people hate PewDiePie that I found on Reddit:

“Immaturity;
Screaming;
I don’t find him particulary funny;
He’s faking is reation too damn much;
Etc.”

Okay, the first one:

Example: PewDiePie makes a video of him acting immature.
He gets really good feedback on that video.
He makes more videos based on immaturity because his fans enjoy it.

Now, the second one:

Simple, turn down your volume, a really ignorant point.

the third one:

Well, if you don’t find him funny, then why do you hate him? Because he’s not funny?

Fourth and last one:

Sure, he may or may not fake his reaction, but he’s only doing it so that his fans can enjoy it. And if you think he’s in it for the money, he donates millions to charity. Millions, hate on that. I saw your blog about him here:

https://alienationmentale.wordpress.com/2012/07/24/recent-skype-conversation-only-increased-my-pewdiepie-irritation-further/ and I wanted to know, why do you hate him when he only tries to be funny? That was like the only thing you ranted in that blog. Please take this comment seriously, because the hatred you have for him doesn’t make sense, and I need a more valid reason for you to hate him.

Gracias for the analysis, Cake. Obviously, the reasons why people on Reddit don’t like him don’t necessarily have to be the same reasons I have, but let’s take a look at the ones you’ve argued against regardless.

Firstly, the fact that his fans like to watch him act like an idiot is obviously part of why he does it, but that doesn’t suddenly make it clever or funny. He could easily try to do something smarter with his videos but there are three possible reasons as to why he doesn’t:

  1. He doesn’t know how.
  2. He would rather pander to his excitable fanbase, ergo cash flow.
  3. All of the above

So it’s not just that he’s not funny – which appears to be the sole reason *I* have, according to you – but also that his gimmick is lazy and possibly just a way for him to make more easy money.

Also, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to alter the fact that PewDiePie has an annoying as fuck voice simply by turning down the volume on my computer. He still sounds like nails on a chalkboard and your idea of decreasing my speaker volume doesn’t do much to dispute that.

As for why I hate him because he’s not funny, I wouldn’t say I hate the person so much as I hate his channel. The man is uniquely unfunny and what I truly hate is his insipid excuse for comedy. When I say that I hate PewDiePie, I mean that I hate the persona that so many easily excitable tweens have decided to build up as some sort of comedic genius, even though his shtick amounts to nothing more than screaming profanities at his computer. However, I can tell from the fact that you’ve been to my blog that this reasoning isn’t enough to persuade you, even if the reality is that the post contains several other reasons as to why he’s not good. So now that I’ve reiterated those reasons for you, are you satisfied? If that’s not the case and you really just wanna hear a different one altogether, I feel no obligation to make up a whole new reason as to why I don’t like something on the mere basis that people are unsatisfied with the (multiple) reason(s) I’ve already given.

 And as for this whole money thing again, I don’t care how much money he donated to charity. It’s a noble thing to do yes, but:

  1. It doesn’t make his content any less unfunny.
  2. It’s usually not that big a percentage of his overall income.
  3. Didn’t this multi-millionaire ask his FANS to DONATE a bunch of charity money at one point?

In fact, I decided to do some research, as well as math, regarding the allegedly mind-blowing news that PewDiePie donated over $400,000 to a fundraising campaign for cleaning the waters of Rwanda. That’s an awesome thing to do, but there are two reasons I’m not amazed or astounded by this. The first reason is that PewDiePie ultimately donated 446 462 bucks and his estimated yearly income is about 4 million dollars, so out of all that money, the amount he’d be giving away is 11.16%. And that’s if you only count the 4 mil he makes in a year. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because the second reason I’m not all that amazed is that, as stated, all this money was apparently something he asked his fans to donate.

I’m not saying it’s not a nice thing to do. It is. I wish more people with fans did it. I’m just saying it isn’t as ground-breaking as it’s cracked up to be. Anyone can ask someone else to fund a country in Africa.


Baby cakes
May 25, 2014 at 8:47 am:

If anything this article is just really pathetic. I understand not everyone likes him but to really demean him like this is so sad. And then to say everyone who watches basically has no life and has no humor makes this even worst. But what makes this funny is that you made this really long (which is unnecessary) article that’s very detailed hinting that you took apart all of his videos and what makes pewds, pewds and talked shit about it. Seems to me someone is jealous and can’t admit that he is.

If anything this comment is just really hilarious. I understand that not everyone is going to agree with my article, but to just make shit up, rather than directly addressing the actual points I’ve made, as your only means of counterargument is just sad. And then to say that I’ve accused Bros of having no life even though I haven’t and you have no proof that I have makes this even worse (not “worst”). But what makes this funny is that you think that the length of my post invalidates my arguments and also qualifies as direct evidence that I’ve watched all of his videos just to talk shit, right before you move on to saying “you’re just jealous” like yet another thin-skinned crybaby that can’t handle it when someone doesn’t like their favourite dick joke dispenser. Seems to me like someone is running out of defense mechanisms and can’t admit it (not that he needs to).

The response you’ve just seen did not fall on deaf ears, because Baby Cakes came back a few hours later with the following message:

Baby cakes

You’re one to correct grammar seeing that you spelled this incorrectly. I don’t have to make up shit I can use logical to come to that conclusion from this article, something you should have learned in school. And I never said the length of your argument makes it invalid. Now it is you who is making up bullshit. Plus I never said you watch all his video, but from your argument it seems that you have to watch it very carefull and more than once to pick out what you dislike which is sad. Finally I never said your jealous just said seems to me you envy him. I wouldn’t blame you he actually doing something with his life besides going around and cutting everyone short like you are. And he doing more than you ever could like donating to the less fortunate. So stop hating on not only him but anyone else you hated on just because their doing bigger and better things than you. Why don’t you sit down and think of what you actually accomplished in life than besides writing this pathetic excuse of an article.

“You’re one to correct grammar seeing that you spelled this incorrectly.”

Ah yes, a basic typo. Truly I must get myself checked for dyslexia. (Some clarification for whoever might be reading this exchange: I originally wrote “thos” instead of “this” and didn’t have time to go back and correct it before Detective Baby Cakes of Baker St. here figured me out.)

“I don’t have to make up shit I can use logical to come to that conclusion from this article, something you should have learned in school. ”

Which is strange since you still decided to completely make up the notion that I’ve accused Bros of not having a life. Since we’re on the subject of school, Baby Cakes, why don’t you share your conclusion with the rest of the class and show us the exact moment where Victor Anderson explicitly stated that Bros have no life? No? Nothing? Well sit the fuck down and be quiet.

“And I never said the length of your argument makes it invalid. Now it is you who is making up bullshit.”

Poor choice of wording on my part. What you did do was bring up the fact that my post is “unnecessarily” long, as if that’s somehow relevant.

“Plus I never said you watch all his video,”

And yet, for some weird-ass fucking reason you decided to write that my article is, and I quote you directly: “very detailed, hinting that you took apart all of his videos”. Even if you didn’t technically mean all of his videos, it’s still a moronic assumption to make that in order to form an opinon, especially on something as easily observable as “PewDiePie is obnoxious and unfunny”, one must marathon as many of his videos as possible. I didn’t. I saw some of them, explained why they weren’t funny, and then I was done.

“but from your argument it seems that you have to watch it very carefull and more than once to pick out what you dislike which is sad.”

Well, you need to watch SOME of it in order to have an opinion. Otherwise you’re not being fair. Not that it would have mattered if I didn’t look at PewDiePie at all because then the Bros would instead hit me with the “well if you don’t watch him, how do you know he’s bad?” card. It’s always win-win with you fanboys.

“Finally I never said your jealous just said seems to me you envy him.”

Here’s what you said:
“Seems to me someone is jealous and can’t admit that he is.” [sic]

Yeah, no, you’re right. I’ve been starting at that sentence forever and I can’t spot the accusation of jealousy anywhere. I can’t fathom where I could possibly have gotten the idea from.

No, but really, if you’re not directly accusing me of being jealous and instead just saying that it “seems” to you that I am, what exactly are you going by? Since you’re one of the few Bros to actually take the time to write me back, explain why not liking something makes me jealous. Oh I’m sorry, makes me SEEM jealous.

“I wouldn’t blame you he actually doing something with his life besides going around and cutting everyone short like you are. And he doing more than you ever could like donating to the less fortunate.”

That still has nothing to do with whether or not he’s funny but whatever gives you idiots a good night’s sleep, I guess.

“So stop hating on not only him but anyone else you hated on just because their doing bigger and better things than you.”

I don’t. I hate on people because they aren’t funny or entertaining. Or, well, I criticize people in certain articles but I understand that saying that I simply “hate on them” is easier.

“Why don’t you sit down and think of what you actually accomplished in life than besides writing this pathetic excuse of an article.”

DURR IF U DON LIEK MAI ARTICULL Y U READIN IT??1 HURR

EDIT: When reading Mr. Cakes’ comment on the initial PewDiePie article I couldn’t help but notice that his name was highlighted by a link and that clicking on it directs you to a webpage called dumb.com. (Don’t believe me? Here‘s the original comment.) I think I’ll let that speak for itself.

EDIT #2: After I responded to Baby Cakes’ second comment, he wrote me back a second time saying that he really thinks we should all just get along and not argue about things like this anymore. I’m not writing out the possibility that this is the latest way in which Bros try to dodge my oft-raised question “When did I ever say that you guys don’t have a life?”. I guess we’re just never meant to know.

He did, however, also apologize for his behavior (so hopefully he’ll take my replies with a grain of salt) and ask me which one I actually hate the most: PewDiePie or his fanbase. Definitely the fanbase.


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