I wrote an article a while back where I talked about how feminism as interpreted by the idiots of Tumblr is one of the probable reasons the feminist movement has gained such a bad rep amongst those not a part of it as of late. It wasn’t a very good article. It was a rambling, unfocused mess and it suffered particularly from the fact that I failed to bring up any good examples of the brand of stupidity I was describing.

But, thank the Lord, now I’ve found just the thing! Behold:

femitard

Meet lil-purrfect-femme, a self-proclaimed feminist who makes a living making feminists look like morons via her (at best) questionable posts on Tumblr. Oh, and if you can’t take my word for it because I’m a privileged man slob who totally don’t know nothin’, don’t you worry, because female bloggers have on several occasions attempted to call her out on her counterproductive bullshit as well!

The question many seem to have about this person is whether or not they’re a troll. They wonder if this is a 4chan-esque scam or if it is a real person that just happens to exhibit a uniquely skewed perspective of what qualifies as “fighting for equality”. Either way, I don’t care. I’m still gonna make fun of some of their infamous highlights!

Firstly, let’s talk about relativism. People who study relativism tend to quote the following old idiom: “Everything is relative”. Well, they clearly aren’t kidding, because apparently the definition of the word “rape” is something that’ll vary depending on who you ask. Let’s, for example, ask Miss purrfect-femme.

femmmmmmuu

“Middle age guy” sounds like a superhero from the 6th century to me.

Even if she’s flattering herself when it comes to her looks, this one’s not too bad at first. Being angry at men who stare perversely at your body is nothing irrational. But let’s look what happens when we take it to the next level:

femie

Well, shit! Cover your eyes, boys! Apparently looking at a person is now directly commensurable with forcing young women to have sex with you. And just to be on the safe side: put condoms on your corneas. You can never be too careful with these dipshits.

I know that other bloggers on Tumblr will often talk about rape culture and how many instances of men staring at women involve a desire to have sex with said women, regardless of whether or not they’d say yes to it. This, of course, is correct, but those bloggers aren’t so out-of-touch with space and  time that they think that looking at women is the same thing as outright raping them. I believe, if you agree with the above post, that you should try having a conversation with an actual rape victim. Tell her your definition of rape and see if she shares your sentiment.

Maybe they don’t even think you’re attractive? Maybe they’re staring because you just got done doing something unignorably stupid? Maybe you have a bulging wart the size of John Candy on your shoulder? Or wait, I just remembered: it doesn’t matter! Why?

Because raping and staring are two kinda-sorta
different things!

But sure, go ahead and reduce the experiences of rape victims to a petty social inconvenience such as people briefly scanning their eyeballs over you. Evidently, equating tragic events with trivial bullshit is okay; as long as we don’t include the concept of rape in a joke! That’d be really fucked-up! Hoo boy!

Don’t worry, though. The Queen here has some enlightening things to say on the concept of consensual sex as well. Observe:

You may need to click this one to read it, but do you really want to?

You may need to click this one to read it, but do you really want to?

Nothing gets past you, Queen. Y’know, it’s a good thing you’re putting the label of “feminist” upon yourself so that you can get freebies to criticize the sexual interests of other females on the grounds that you, from a perspective that makes you sound like an artsy film student trying too hard to find symbolic meanings in a David Lynch movie, view something as sexist. Many of your other posts suggest that you believe the word “feminist” lets you get away with just about anything.

Now, I’m no expert but I have this feeling that women willingly putting men’s penises in their own mouth because that’s the sort of kinky shit they’re into has nothing do with them being silenced. Here are some questions, if you don’t mind:

  1. Is there a penis inside your mouth right now?
  2. Do you want it there?

If you answered yes to both of those: congratulations, you’re a woman enjoying a possibly decent sex life on her own terms. No need to worry about being silenced or demeaned, unless some self-entitled idiot starts telling you that you don’t REALLY want that penis in your mouth. As long as you avoid stuff like that, though, no fear!

feminohfuckyou

I’m guessing this is similar to how I’m directly assisting people in ending world hunger merely by declaring myself “opposed to famine” and then not actually doing anything helpful?

fembotsThis one goes hand-in-hand with a different post, in which Queen implies that “most” women only play video games to impress guys and feel accepted into geek communities. Yeah, I bet you thought that you played video games because they’re fun and challenging. Oh how very wrong you were! No no, it’s either because gaming distracts you from those rape urges that every guy ever totally always has all the time durr hurr hurr, OR because you’re a girl who wants to seem cool amongst men.

That’s funny, I could have sworn that the latter was a stereotype most feminists were working hard to vanquish? From what I’ve gathered, they deplore the stereotype that girls who like games only do it because of a desire to fit in, and not because games are fucking fun.

( ↑ See also the video above ↑ )

But hey, she is after all the fucking “Queen of Feminism”, so I guess the rest of us are in no position to critique her words. It doesn’t matter how often she fucks herself in the ass to such an extent that she actually helps sexism prevail by consistently telling women what to do, what they should like and why they really do the things they do; as long as she insists that she’s a “feminist” often enough, she’s right and we’re wrong. Congratulations, o almighty Queen. You fixed the problem by doing the opposite of fixing it!

Something tells me this is the kind of person that would try to put out a fire by pouring gasoline all over it. That, or she just calls the fire a “rapist” and hopes it goes away.

femmoRemember girls, it’s not rape if he’s physically attractive. Fuck, I can’t get over how intellectually enlightening this is. It’s like being in a rape victim support group run by a Tumblr fangirl that would forgive anything as long as the person doing it was “hot”. Why do you people exist?

femo

Oh wow, you have got to be frickin’ kidding me.

Yeah it must be really fucking awful to have people reblog shit from you that you consciously put up on a public forum where anyone can reblog anything, regardless of some dipshit’s made-up rules. Since you’re already throwing the word “rape” around like you can apply the definition to anything that makes you uncomfortable, why don’t you just go ahead and coin the term “Reblog Rape”? It’s got a nice ring to it, doesn’t it?

This would be like me getting pissed off because someone shared one of my more personal YouTube videos on their website. If I didn’t want that, I either wouldn’t have uploaded the fucking video in the first place, OR just put it up as “Unlisted”. If you don’t want particular posts of yours reblogged, make a fucking private blog. Or don’t post them at all. Pick one! It’s not “invasive” to reblog something if you yourself chose to make it public. I shouldn’t have to explain something this simple. I shouldn’t even have to explain it to a person that someone threw on the floor when they were an infant. Humans weren’t DESIGNED to be this dumb.

I think that’s enough. If I read anymore of this horse shit I’ll probably punch my monitor and I can’t afford that sort of damage.

So, if this person is a troll that wants only to give a bad name to a movement that works so hard for such a wildly important cause, I hope the blog gets taken down before gullible morons unironically jump on the bullshit bandwagon that already seems to be on the roll over at Tumblr. If it’s not a troll, I’m pretty sure I still hope it gets taken down.

femhmmfemhmmmSure thing, Queen. Sure thing.

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