More here (do you really want more, though?)

More here (do you really want more, though?)

Tween fangirls, man. I swear to God, if they ever change their ways, the lives we lead upon this decaying shit-sphere of a planet will be more meaningless than they already were. We need tweens in all our lives, and for all the annoying bullshit we’re consequently forced to put up with, moments like this are what makes it all worth it in the end.

Okay, so how does one start off an article like this? Well I for one think that it is only fitting if we first compose a comprehensive list of all the things that the ultimate kingdom of the Internet Trolls, 4chan.org, has succeeded with thus far:

  1. They made Beliebers cut their own wrists because of Justin Bieber smoking weed. (More on that here, if you’re interested)
  2. They made Beliebers (you see a pattern yet?) shave their heads because they made them believe that Justin’s got cancer.
  3. Basically number 1 again, only with some minor differences.

See, instead of targeting the Bieber fandom, they decided to aim at one that’s not quite as notorious for any major levels of stupidity, but still one that’s fairly easy to fuck with: the One Direction fandom. And instead of making the tweens that encompass said fandom slit their wrists over a teen heart-throb smoking weed, they made the tweens upload NUDE PICTURES of themselves on Twitter over MULTIPLE teenage heart-throbs smoking weed. Yeah, apparently there was a video getting passed around where Zayn Malik and Louis Tomlinson were seen smoking cannabis this week. Several recent news articles allude to it, but seem to share my opinion that the main attraction here is the priceless morons on Twitter.

A screenshot of 4chan’s plan has been included in some of these articles, though. I’m not gonna share it here because the screenshot itself is, well, crap. But I will summarize the basic gist of how this all went down:

Step 1: Create fake Twitter accounts.

Step 2. Follow each other.

Step 3. Upload pornographic images of teenagers (but keep it “legal”) with the hashtag #Skinfor1D

Step 4. Wait for their fans to get involved.

Step 5. Start filling up your folders.

Step 6. I’d rather leave out this part because even though I find this prank hilarious, I still find certain details of it pretty frickin’ disturbing in the meantime.

And sure enough, after this was all set in motion, it didn’t take too long until One Direction fangirls unironically started uploading nudes a plenty, whilst saying such heartwarming things as “Doing it for my boys”. Meanwhile, local meat-packer Mason Verger started posting some selfies whilst he was slicing off pieces of skin and feeding them to Will Graham’s dogs, having completely misunderstood the “skin” part of #SkinFor1D. Oh well.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time."

“It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Only a few observers have caught on to the reality that this was yet another 4chan prank and not just tween girls being stupid by themselves, but even if we start blaming the trolls for this, we shouldn’t do so entirely. It’s about time these people learned to do basic detective work, conduct research and not fall for anything the Internet tells them, especially if it can be traced back to such a haven for trolls as 4chan. These morons will immediately start making demands for citations and other forms of validation if you bring up something as heavily document as Bieber’s crimes in traffic and other forms of douchebaggery, but as soon as a forum of Internet trolls invents a Twitter trend that tells them to self-harm, shave their hair or flash their semi-breasts online in the name of a generic boy band, all because they tried a fucking drug one time, they’ll just eat it the fuck up. “I saw a hashtag about it on Twitter, so it must be true!” Sure it is, kiddo. Sure it is.

Also, I don’t know if this too was orchestrated by the guys at 4chan, but there are some people who put the blame of this entire debacle on Reddit users instead. What a time to be alive.

#MySentimentPrecisely (NOTE: Yes, the fans actually HAVE been posting pics of themselves wearing literally "as much as they can". Not even Charles Xavier has this much power over people's brains.)

#MySentimentPrecisely (NOTE: Yes, the fans actually HAVE been posting pics of themselves wearing literally “as much as they can”. Not even Charles Xavier has this much power over people’s brains.)

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