It’s been a while since my last Q&A-type post, so I might as well answer some of the questions I’ve been receiving by one of my most avid readers. Her username is Mariela and she has referred to some of my articles as “bull excrement” so her desire to still stick around is as admirable as her apparent patience with me. So, let’s dive right into this new batch of questions.

“Why don’t zombies eat each other until there are no zombies left and The Walking dead is cancelled?”

Zombies aren’t cannibals. What sort of morally reprehensible creatures do you take them for, man?


“If you could choose between erasing the memory of all evil people int he world, but having to spend the rest of your life reeducating them or pressing a button to just kill them all, what would you choose?”

I would erase their memories and then educate them with the knowledge that they are my servants and that they should do everything I ask them to do; sandwiches, back rubs, foot massages, you name it! I’d probably also make them apologize for all of their genocides, murders and Seltzer & Friedberg comedies.


“If Pewds and you were the last two people alive, would you stop hating him?”

Ah. Well, I’ve never really hated him as a person but seeing as he wouldn’t have an army of angry fanboys defending him anymore, I’d probably learn to enjoy his presence. I wouldn’t find him funny, but still.


“If Adventure Time was older, would you like it?”

Can’t really say I got an opinion on Adventure Time. I would probably like it if I saw it now. I wouldn’t have a nostalgic relationship with it, as I do with shows like ReBootCourage the Cowardly Dog or Dexter’s Laboratory, but I’m sure there’s some lovable stuff in there still.


“Wich one do you like the best: making movies or criticizing them?”

Writing reviews is easier and less time-consuming, but making them is more fun and creative. I enjoy both for different reasons.


“Would you buy a teen magazine if your picture were the cover?”

Maybe if the headline bore some resemblance to “VICTOR ANDERSON – The Tween Community’s no. 1 Nemesis” and all the articles about me simply revolved around all the times I’ve smacked Beliebers on the ass and exposed the entertainment industry’s abundance of tween-pandering crap for what it is. But even then, meh, I’ll probably buy a Lenore comic instead.


“Would you date a fan? (Classic)”

Oh, I’m afraid I only date leaf-blowers.


If you want to know more things about me, feel free to ask me questions of your own! Until then: always know where your towel is!