OBLIGATORY HATE MAIL #7

Ah, the loving messages have just been pouring in lately. It may not be a large number by the standards of most people on the Internet, but they’ve been arriving at a quicker rate than I am used to myself. I think you all know what that means, right? That’s correct! It’s time to review them all and bask in the sheer amount of love.

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Speaking of “love”, let’s start with a comment on my PewDiePie article.

Anonymous

January 16, 2014 at 2:49 am :

Why is everyone wasting their time reading this shit? Don’t give this faggot the time of day. I read like the first sentence of this garbage then instantly laughed at this guys logic of thinking he can post something like this and get away with it. But then I see the comments? Come on, y’all need to hush up. I enjoy how y’all stick up for someone like Pewdiepie(I myself am a fan), but this kind of internet faggot is the kind who wants attentions. Why do you think he posted this? Attention. Obviously.

I say y’all just stop reading this kind of shit and leave the poor bastard who wrote this to go masturbate to himself. He’s obviously got nothing to do if he’s wasting his day replying in chapters to every single comment and writing a fucking book about why he hates someone. I mean come on there has to be like at least 400-1000 words in that.
I looked up pewdiepie and cry. This is what I got.. I really wish I hadn’t clicked on this.. If there’s anything I’d have to say left, it’s this. One, freedom of speech is being abused nowadays with this shit. Two, People need to stop reading this crap and commenting. That’s what the noob wants!!

Don’t bother replying; I am not interested in reading replies and there is no way anyone can say or do anything to prove me wrong. I’ve said what I had to and that is final.
Ciao.

You see what I’m saying? I love reading comments like this. Comments that unintentionally open a window into the psyche of a person and makes you understand, not how they can be such remarkably braindead dipshits, but why. As much as I try to reply to comments in a coherent text, yours, alas, contains too many highlights of blissful stupidity for me not to review one sentence at a time. Congratulations, Anonymous. You’ve officially made it onto this new rendition of Hate Mail.

“Why is everyone wasting their time reading this shit? Don’t give this faggot the time of day. I read like the first sentence of this garbage then instantly laughed at this guys logic of thinking he can post something like this and get away with it.”

I’m going to assume that’s where you stopped too since your comment doesn’t contain any semblance of arguments directed at specific points within the post in question. Not that reading the whole thing would help since most of the commentors on here that have attempted to make actual arguments have done so poorly. I guess you were just trying to spare yourself the humiliation. It didn’t work.

“But then I see the comments? Come on, y’all need to hush up. I enjoy how y’all stick up for someone like Pewdiepie(I myself am a fan), but this kind of internet faggot is the kind who wants attentions. Why do you think he posted this? Attention. Obviously.”

Attention, huh? Interesting. I could have sworn that I posted this because I felt like expressing my thoughts on an overrated YouTube comic. But hey, who am I to argue with the intellectual reasoning of a guy who uses the word “faggot” as an actual insult? It especially stings coming from someone whose caliber of comedy is a lanky Swedish dude screaming at video games. Enlighten me further, Anonymous.

“I say y’all just stop reading this kind of shit and leave the poor bastard who wrote this to go masturbate to himself.”

I can only imagine the excruciating thought process that went into coming up with that incredibly clever insult. Does this level of intelligence run in your family or did your father just drop you on your head when you were, I dunno, fifteen?

“He’s obviously got nothing to do if he’s wasting his day replying in chapters to every single comment and writing a fucking book about why he hates someone. I mean come on there has to be like at least 400-1000 words in that.”

You’ve read some really short books. Not that it’s surprising to me or anyone else.

“I looked up pewdiepie and cry. This is what I got.. I really wish I hadn’t clicked on this.. If there’s anything I’d have to say left, it’s this. One, freedom of speech is being abused nowadays with this shit. Two, People need to stop reading this crap and commenting. That’s what the noob wants!!”

Uh-oh, now I’m getting called a “Noob” too? My God, this is almost imhumanely cruel! Next you’ll be implying that you’ve slept with one of my parents or that I suck at Minecraft.

“Don’t bother replying; I am not interested in reading replies and there is no way anyone can say or do anything to prove me wrong. I’ve said what I had to and that is final.”

My guess is that since you didn’t put any effort into proving yourself right, you didn’t want anyone to bother proving you wrong. I decided to do it anyway because of how easy you were making it.

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paul adams

December 31, 2013 at 7:12 pm:

This seems like a personal problem I have the solution to, dont watch his videos, how about that?

O-Face_egoraptor-256x256*GASP* Oh my God, I never woulda thunk it. Thank you, Paul, for informing me that all these months that I’ve done nothing besides watching PewDiePie videos day in and day out – which has to be the case given that I wrote an article about him one time durr hurr logic – has been for nothing. I should just stop. I am enlightened, Paul.

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Anonymous

January 15, 2014 at 11:30 pm :

Look, Pewdiepie is random and crazy most of the time, but it’s cause that’s what his viewers like! He’s just trying to make them happy. He’s doing what he loves for a living and he gets bashed for it! I’m going to be a cartoonist when I get older. What are you gonna yell at me for doing something I like, no love to do?! How about I yell at you that your an incompetent idiot for what you have fun doing? You wouldn’t like it would you? Yes, Pewds screaming can get annoying at times and certain videos I don’t watch cause I find a slim few irritating. I like Pewdiepie cause one, he’s funny to me (people have different senses of humor) and he does what he loves! So, quit bashing on him. Nod other bros (a very small amount and I’m sure none here) quit putting hate comments on other videos just cause they play a game Pewds does or you think Pewds is better. Cause really, everyone on YouTube is good at what they do. And just cause they play a game Pewds does doesn’t mean they can’t play it. Pewdie never bought the game. What I’m pretty much saying is QUIT COMPLAINING ABOUT NOTHING!!!

Look, Pewdiepie is random and crazy most of the time, but it’s cause that’s what his viewers like! ”

God knows why.

“He’s just trying to make them happy. He’s doing what he loves for a living and he gets bashed for it! I’m going to be a cartoonist when I get older. What are you gonna yell at me for doing something I like, no love to do?!”

First of all, yelling is gonna be difficult to do via typing so I don’t see why you choose that word to describe that which I’m allegedly guilty for. Secondly, it remains to be seen whether you a) become famous enough an animator for me to notice you and b) put enough effort into your creations for them to fit my template of what qualifies as well-made and good. I wish you the best of luck!

“How about I yell at you that your an incompetent idiot for what you have fun doing? You wouldn’t like it would you?”

I know this isn’t the answer you want to hear, but I wouldn’t mind it. Negative backlash can basically be these two things:

  1. Constructive and fun to listen to, no matter how caustic it is on the surface.
  2. More angry ramblings from angry fanboys that I only find delightfully amusing.

You can hate me all you want is what I’m saying.

“Yes, Pewds screaming can get annoying at times and certain videos I don’t watch cause I find a slim few irritating. I like Pewdiepie cause one, he’s funny to me (people have different senses of humor) and he does what he loves! So, quit bashing on him.”

I’ll only talk about PewDiePie for as long as Bros bring him up in the hate mail they send me. Don’t you worry.

“Nod other bros (a very small amount and I’m sure none here) quit putting hate comments on other videos just cause they play a game Pewds does or you think Pewds is better.”

Seems like you’re trying hard to convince yourself that only a select FEW of PewDiePie’s fans are prone to irrational behaviour. I especially love how you think that nobody “here” is guilty, ”here” being the comment section where several have already been posting rambling hate comments since the dawn of this article – right before basically sending out an open letter to that very same type of Bros. Those that clearly aren’t here.

“Cause really, everyone on YouTube is good at what they do.”

… I’m going to assume you know why that’s a spectacularly stupid thing to say and be quiet.

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Not a 13 year old girl

January 26, 2014 at 8:13 pm:

Wow, this is a lot of effort put in to a hating article. And don’t try to deny that you aren’t hating, because it’s very obvious you just wanted to take Pewds down a notch. How about instead of putting a person down, you bring someone else that you like up? I don’t like any of his new content either, so you know what I do? I don’t watch the videos. Problem solved. And don’t lie, if you could make easy money off of playing video games you would do it too, wouldn’t you. It doesn’t bother me one bit that youtubers do it to make money, why does it you?

Hi there, oddly specific username that doesn’t seem suspicious in the slightest. What I’m interpreting from your statements is a lack of fact-checking. For instance, you seem to be under the impression that I wrote this article as pure unmotivated hate (even though I actually named the reasons as to why I think the way I do) and that my intention was to take PewDiePie down a notch. I’m not sure how I was supposed to accomplish that but I’m flattered by your assumption that I possess the ability to single-handedly ruin the reputation of someone this popular. You’re very kind but very wrong.

Next we have the classic “Just don’t watch it” card. Right there I can tell that you haven’t read any of my responses to previous comments that try to pull that very same emergency argument. I do not watch PewDiePie. I watched him before, didn’t like him, explained why he wasn’t funny and left it at that. The only reason I talk about him these days is when I’m compelled to reply to comments on the initial post.

And you also wonder why I don’t, instead of bashing on PewDiePie, talk about stuff/people I do like. There is a link to all of my positive movie reviews in the article. Want more? There’s a whole list – ALSO in the article – that shows you the entertainers and such that I’m legitimately jealous of. Any more facts you’d like to avoid, miss Not A 13 Year Old Girl?

And yes, I would probably enjoy making money off of gaming videos. But if I know myself well enough I wouldn’t conform to such a tired, obnoxious and miserably unfunny formula.

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charlotte154

January 27, 2014 at 11:13 pm:

Here’s my criticism on this very lengthy entry about your unnecessary hatred for a YouTube star.

Your whole reasoning for hating Pewdiepie is because you apparently have it in your mind that Pewds makes his videos to be informative. You, my friend, couldn’t be more wrong.

Pewds is NOT a Lets Player.

He is someone who makes videos strictly to entertain people. Pewds is an IDIOT. And that’s why people like watching his videos. That is his whole charm as a YouTuber. Why would anyone watch Pewds play games to learn about how to play them? Watch Cry or Chuggaconroy play games to learn from them because they ARE informative Lets Players.

So your whole reasoning for hating Pewds is ridiculous. Because Pewds is not a Lets Player. He’s just an entertaining YouTuber that plays games to make people laugh.

I don’t understand why people like you waste so much time and energy hating someone who is famous because of stupid made-up reasons. Go do something constructive instead of wasting all your energy on hating someone who is just making internet videos to make people laugh.

Your narrative as to what’s my “whole reasoning” – as in only that and nothing else – for disliking PewDiePie is an interesting one, but unsurprisingly it isn’t actually accurate.

I have been receiving replies to this post for over a year but only now have people started behaving as if they have this selective memory that only allows them to remember the part where I said that PewDiePie’s gaming videos aren’t informative or interesting. Is this some new trend you guys have started that I’m unaware of or is it purely coincidental that the few most recent commentors here all share the same misconception that I only dislike PewDiePie because his commentary doesn’t offer info?

I see you also try to reiterate the same point that I’ve addressed before that PewDiePie’s lack of informative commentary is irrelevant to his actual purpose: being funny. Whether or not he IS funny is, of course, debatable but let’s instead focus on another redundant point of yours: that PewDiePie reason for not providing enlightening commentary is that he doesn’t actually make Let’s Plays and has never intended to do so. All I had to do in order to fact-check this was do a YouTube search on “PewDiePie Let’s Play”. The result was over 8 consecutive pages of PewDiePie videos with the phrase “Let’s Play” somewhere in the title. Nice move, Charlotte.

Also, I do watch actually informative and funny gaming videos. I will say that you’re at least not the first to assume that one article about why I don’t like Pewdie is a direct indication that watching HIS content is all I do. That would be like citing the existence of my review of The Host as proof that I’m a Stephenie Meyer fan. Try again, Charlotte.

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Nick

January 28, 2014 at 7:42 am:

This guy is such a douchebag, I’m glad he got a in a relationship with a bisexual and probably underage teen. He needed one to show how less of a stone bricked small minded individual he is to other people.
It’s called freedom of speech for a reason, just because you don’t like something doesn’t stop others from liking it, so don’t try to create arguments because you will just end up being more hated.
You should try harder on making post like this, because obviously you will win them at some point (I mean, your lesbo mother named you “Victorious” right?)

BTW, you forgot your Stephen Merchant styled fedora, regards

ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็ ( ͡° ʖ ͡°) ก็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็

A few questions if you don’t mind, Nick.

  1. Who is the underaged bisexual with whom I am in a relationship? This is news to me. Is this an aspect of my own social life that I have failed to observe myself or are you just making shit up in hopes of at some point or another succeeding to “burn” me? It’s not working, sweetheart.
  2. Why do you assume I have a lesbian mother? Any reason why something like that should be relevant? Is homosexuality a negative trait in your opinion? Oh wait, I get it. You’re trying to “burn” me again, aren’t you, Nick? Yeah, good one. Nothing hurts more than receiving insults from someone with the I.Q. of a 9-year-old who’s gotten hold of his big brother’s Steam account. Next you’ll be calling me a “n00b” too. Anything but that, Nick. I’ve already endured that magnitude of relentlessly superior wittiness enough in this comment section!
  3. You think “Victorious” is my real name, huh? A peculiar conclusion, Nick, but I guess that believing something like that doesn’t seem below your cerebral capacity at this point, I’ll grant you that.

Also, feel free to elaborate has to how I “forgot [my] Stephen Merchant hat”. Did I forget to wear it in my profile pic? Did I forget to put it in the article so that you could have something irrelevant to bitch about? Or is this just another assumption you make about me because you find that basing your counter-points on actual facts and/or my own points would require too much brain activity on your part? I’m going to assume that’s also the reason you decided to sign off your comment with an Eastern emoticon. Good game, Nick. I’m glad we finally received the intellectual insight from someone who still makes “yo mama” jokes.

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That’s enough PewDiePie for now, but I feel like our dear friends the Directioners deserve to have their well-thought-out responses put on display here as well. Don’t you agree? I thought so. Here we go:

Payne insane

January 26, 2014 at 12:11 pm:

You a really big idiot for posting this! The way you talk about one direction and their fans is horrible, everyone is title to their opinion I know but You saying all of this is no better. So stfu because Your stupid little post about directioners are irrelevant. You can call One Direction whatever you want they’re the rich famous ones making all the money so take a seat stay in your lane. Keep listing to your horrible music, It’s your music choice but don’t go talking crap about anyone else’s when you listen to “suicide silence” have a nice day.

“You a really big idiot for posting this!”

Go on, master of all things grammatically correct. Lecture me further.

“The way you talk about one direction and their fans is horrible, everyone is title to their opinion I know but You saying all of this is no better.”

No better than what, exactly? Telling the daughter of a dead man to commit suicide. Good one, Payne. Way to call me out on what a heinous person I am for hurting your precious feelings by insinuating that asking a 5-five-year-old to kill herself makes you look like KIND OF a dick. Here, have some ass ointment.

“So stfu because Your stupid little post about directioners are irrelevant.”

Your extensive reply to it is meant to be evidence of that, I’m sure. *sigh* God, I love dipshits.

You can call One Direction whatever you want they’re the rich famous ones making all the money so take a seat stay in your lane.”

Oh no, they’re rich and famous? Obviously that means their fans can act like idiots all they please. You have defeated me, Payne. Your prize is a bottle of ass ointment.

“Keep listing to your horrible music, It’s your music choice but don’t go talking crap about anyone else’s when you listen to “suicide silence” have a nice day.”

You have a nice day too, Payne. I hope the ass ointment helps. (NOTE: It’s strongly recommended that the ass ointment is applied in doubled amounts if you happen to have One Direction tracks on your Spotify playlist.)

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That’s all for today. I urgently need to try and find my Stephen Merchant hat. I wouldn’t want Nick to seem like a deluded dipshit, now would I?

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