YouTube_logo_standard_white

But no. Apparently a layout that’s comprehensible at first glance is too fucking luxurious a privilege to ask for.

You might’ve heard a couple of YouTubers complain recently that the website’s latest alteration, to nobody’s surprise, turned out to be yet another pointless clusterfuck. Well, they’d be right. Specifically, it has to do with YouTube’s almost outright psychotic obsession with making sure that everyone everywhere acquires an account on Google+ to link with their YouTube channel for no apparent reason, which has only gotten more obnoxious with time.

Their latest way of doing this was to make a change to the comment section that restricts you from posting comments unless you’re actually signed in to the Google+ account they’ve forced upon you. I’m serious. These guys are so desperately hellbent on you using their shitty social networking website that they go the extent that you’re not even allowed to use one of the primary YouTube features unless you do! Amazing.

You also can’t reply to comments, but I have been told that this also requires you to log on to Google+. Well, I tried logging on to Google+ and I’m still not allowed to simply click on a fucking button and write a response to, say, this one really insightful review a PewDiePie fan sent me once:

Can someone please just tell me where I'm supposed to click?

Can someone please just tell me where I’m supposed to click?

All I can do when opening the ‘options’ bar by clicking on a symbol in the top corner of the comment is deleting it. Nothing else. Not even there did these spectacular geniuses think that it might be a pretty decent idea to include a method of maybe, oh I don’t fucking know, ANSWERING THE COMMENT!  There’s not even a discernible way of marking a comment as spam, and on top of that, there’s the frickin’ comment section itself!

You see, someone at YouTube figured out, in his truly infinite wisdom, that the comment section of a video would become so much more coherent if they just changed the default order of the comments to be “highest rated ones first” as opposed to the more convenient “newest first”. Having a few top comments wasn’t enough, oooh no. We need all the comments to be top comments!

This makes it difficult to keep track of comment threads and ongoing conversations in the comment section. Now, I know what you’re thinking – “But can’t you just click on the in reply to’ button to make the comment that’s being responded to appear above the one you just clicked on?” Oh my child, you are naïve. What clicking in reply to’ now does instead is to open up a different tab with the EXACT SAME VIDEO YOU WERE ALREADY WATCHING and then take you to the linked comment. On a good day. On a regular day it just opens the video in a different tab and gives up. This glitch is such an inexcusable, epic faux pas that I’m hoping even YouTube themselves didn’t actually mean it and that they will thus fix it soon. But you never know. Maybe you need Google+ to fix it or something.

You can’t even read some of the messages in your own goddamn inbox without getting Google+ anymore! Like, how fucking inhumanly desperate is it possible for one bunch of idiots to get?

AGAIN: stop forcing us to use another goddamn website before we can use the one we actually give a shit about!!

Oh, but there is hope, dear readers. Remember when people complained that the YouTube home page automatically took you to your video suggestions, as opposed to your list of new subscription videos (now wedged away into a sidebar), which had until then been the default home page content since pretty much day one? Well, kids, your whining did not fall on deaf ears. YouTube has changed the home page. See, here’s what happens now:

Now you can actually click on two different parts of the little YouTube logo in the top left corner of the web browser window! Yes, you have two home pages to choose from. One is YouTube’s own official channel, with videos that they think are relevent and that they think you should watch, and the other is, well, still the page with the video recommendations. But hey, at least now you have the option of going to a page you’re even less interested in! Which part of the YouTube logo takes you to your subscription’s vids, you ask? Psh, you wish. Get over to that sidebar you lazy lubber.

NOTE: This two-way version of the YouTube logo was removed after having only been present briefly for some contest that was being held on who should win Arist Of The Year or something like that. Fair enough, but they’re probably bringing it back for some future occasion.

THIS as your start page, however, is asking too much.

THIS as your start page, however, is asking too much. (Also the “recommendations” system clearly isn’t working anyway since Onision and PewDiePie are among my suggestions!)

So, yes. One pointless alteration to the home page and one outright destructive one to the comment section. I wouldn’t be surprised if they in the future decide to remove the commenting function altogether, which is exactly what happened shortly after YouTube made the change to their ‘video response’ feature. Remember? Instead of simply clicking a button and posting a video response of any sort you want, you instead had to open up a link by clicking on the comment-writing box, end up on a different page, select a video to use and then return to whatever clip you were trying to comment on before all that! Oh but the ‘video response’ function isn’t like that anymore. No no. Now there isn’t one at all.

I love that. It just shrieks of YouTube realizing that they have fucked up feature so far beyond repair that they decided to just give up and remove it.

To be wholeheartedly frank, I feel like the next change is going to be that you won’t be able to upload videos. That is, unless you first share YouTube’s private account to 10 of your Google+ contacts. More than that if you want to upload a video that’s over 50 Megabytes in size, that is. Let’s not be spoiled.

Oh, and Google? Massive congratulations, guys, on having everything so groundbreakingly fucking backwards that you, by making it more difficult for people to post comments, have also made it so that users are less likely to return to videos to respond to comments, seeing as no one will even bother trying to post or reply to any, which in turn will mean that you make less money. Well played! It all worked out in the end, didn’t it?

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That is all for now. Always know where your towel is!

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