OBLIGATORY HATE MAIL #5

I’ve been asked if the occasional backlash I receive thanks to some of the articles on this site sometimes gets too annoying or offensive. My standard reply is that the hate comments people post are often so laughable and stupid that I cannot help but feel a sense of glee over the fact that I have something to reply to in my traditionally mocking way. Of course, moronic hate mail isn’t the sole reason I continue writing but it has certainly become a delightful bonus.

With that said, let’s see what people are angry about this time.

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Our first comment today is from my review of Shark Tale. It’s from a guy who seemingly got mad at me for wondering why the jellyfish brothers were portrayed as Jamaican. He writes:

njirish
March 5, 2013 at 12:42 am

Sure it’s wrong to stereotype jamaicans but its ok to do the same with italians in a kids film. What a bs review.

Confession: I don’t give a flying rat’s rectum about who gets stereotyped in what. It’s irrelevant what ethnicity it is – it’s still just comedy and should therefor not be equated with all the actual, legitimate racism in our society. Preachy teeanagers under the self-proclaimed alias of social justice warriors, please take note.

In any case, I  was only wondering what the point of the joke was, if any. Of course you’re gonna think it’s a ”bs review” when you don’t read it properly.

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Next we have two comments by Haiien and they were both posted on my PewDiePie article. He provides the following intellectual insight (my favourite parts are highlighted in red):

Haiien
October 18, 2013 at 9:49 pm

I think your hate is primitiv. And i think it might have something to do with the fact that your swedish yourself. Like you’re embarrast of having someone like pewdiepie “represent” your country on YouTube. Why else would your hatred be so strong you had to sit down and write a blog post about it, only giving pewdie more attention and support from his bros? Maybe you have anger issues and you should go talk to someone about how to not activly hate people who don’t effect you.

But to the point, It seems to me like you haven’t really watched his videos at all. On his longer horrer let’s play’s he always plays the whole game and he says he’s opinion at the end.
But if you were wondering ..
The reason everyone says you’re jelaous is because you say he’s in it just for the money. Everyone who watches pewdie without being so fucking judgmental can see how he clearly does this just for fun. You say it beacause you don’t think he desveres to get paid for what he does. But let me tell you, there is a big differense between “he is just in it for the money” and “i do not think he desveres the money”. You should change that. (Teacher’s note: Wow, nothing gets past you, Haiien. Profound.)

It is true that Pewdie isn’t very “talented” in that matter, but he is lucky. He goofes around, plays games and tells the same jokes, and his fans still love him more and more. Plus he makes a ton of money of it. You are obviously jelaous of his luck, not his fame.

He made YouTube videos everyday for a long time, because he loved it. The bros, the money, the fame… It came later, and he had no ambition or intention of getting anywhere with it. So you mean if you do something you love for a long time, and eventually it pays off it can only be about the money from there on out? I mean, especially if you’re bad at imitating a french accent, right? For Pewdiepie, it has become his fulltime job because it makes him happy, it makes YouTube happy and it makes the bros happy, so really, what is your problem? He does it because he loves it, and as a bonus it helps him to buy food, pay rent and makes him able to donate to cherity. So why all this negativity? He is just a very lucky normal boy, and you expect him to magically gain an impressive talent because he get’s money. Money over quality really?

I must admit i’m having a hard time knowing if you are serious about this, or if your just trying to get attention on pewdiepies behalf. I’m hoping for your own good you are an attention freak because it would be sad if you really were this stupid.

And leave it up to his fans who like watching and who want to keep on watching his future videos to be annoyed by tvings like lousy mic adjustments. Then you can spend that time annoying yourself over something else. Maybe something relevant to your own life :)

Btw, I’m still laughing of your list of talented people! It really helped prove why Pewdiepie is worth hating ;)

He then adds:

Haiien
October 18, 2013 at 9:56 pm

Have to add, I completely respects those who do not like Pewdiepie or who thinks watching him is a waste of time. But i don’t respect those who think that and keep watching him, which you’ve obviously done. Please tell me, why waste that time and energy if all you feel is hate afterwards?

Hey, thanks for the multiple comments Haiien. Right off the bat I can’t help but make note of your amazing skills of deduction where you first point out that I “haven’t really watched his videos at all” right before concluding that I have “obviously kept watching him”. If you’re going to recycle fanboy cop-outs like everyone else in this comment section you could at least do yourself the favor of avoiding self-contradictions and subsequently make your comments almost seem intelligent. You did however point out that my hatred (even though “indifference” is a better term at this point) towards Pew seems to come from the fact I am “embarrast” to have an exasperatingly shrieking man-baby represent the supposed “entertainment” my homeland has to offer. That is definitely one of the factors, but it’s mostly that I don’t find him funny, which I may or may not have mentioned.

You then try to justify the use of the “You’re only jealous” argument by explaining why you keep jumping to that same, unoriginal conclusion. Well, okay, you didn’t really explain anything rather than reciting more of the same accusations but adding a few more layers of grammatically inept, rambling bullshit to make it seem like you WERE explaining something to me. You did claim that I am not jealous of his fame but of his luck. Again, if this was true I would walk around hating everyone more famous, and therefore presumably more lucky than me. I don’t. I only hate people who aren’t funny. That’s the second time in this response I’m saying this but I don’t believe for a second that it’ll be enough.

The only thing I got from those paragraphs were you trying to convince me that PewDiePie is not just in this business for the money, which is why I must remind you that that’s not what my theory was in the first place. No, dipshit; if I did something that eventually resulted in me making big money off of it I wouldn’t suddenly stop having fun with it and be a greedy money-lover. If, however, I made my stuff without any semblance of effort and acquired a massive following that will blindly approve of any thoughtless, uninspired shit I publish, then I would probably continue doing that without doing anything new or anything clever with it. I would “have fun with it” as you call it, yes, but I would still be lazy. At least that’s what I assume, using PewDiePie as primary evidence.

But then again, maybe I'm just not smart enough to "get" this.

But then again, maybe I’m just not smart enough to “get” this.

“Money over quality really?”, you then ponder in confusion as you also point out that you acknowledge Pewdie’s tendency to recycle brainless jokes, use shitty microphones, goof around instead of providing interesting or witty commentary and, in your OWN fucking words I might add, come off as “not very talented”. Indeed, why could I possibly believe that he doesn’t give two fucks about quality? Don’t think too hard about that one, Haiien; your cerebrum might overheat and explode. Oh and no, I do not expect him to gain talent because he gains fame. Quite the contrary: I expect someone to gain fame because they actually have talent. I have realized that I have been naive.

And so at last your comment ends with a few dry insults and a couple of emoticons that I’m sure you hoped were gonna make up for the lack of effect, not to mention grammar, in any of your supposed “comebacks”. Thank you for commenting. Lord knows that “attention” you gave me is the sole thing I wanted out of writing a blog post about someone I just don’t find funny. (There, that was three times. I’m done.) Oh wait, no. I actually wrote this simply because I felt like it and didn’t give much of a shit as to how much inevitable backlash it would generate. Too bad I didn’t realize that your not agreeing with me renders me unable to have an opinion. Touché, dumbass.

Anyways, thanks for the read, Haiien. I will now leave it up to my readers to figure out whether you were dropped on your head as a child or if you were just born like this.

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While we’re at it, let’s take another gem from the PewDiePie comment section.
Host.Body707
October 18, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Jeez, this just reeks of desperation. You know the more you say “I’M NOT JEALOUS, I’M NOT JEALOUS” the more people will think you’re jealous, right? Stop caring so much about what other people think and relax.

“Jeez, this just reeks of desperation.”

You’re telling me?

“You know the more you say “I’M NOT JEALOUS, I’M NOT JEALOUS” the more people will think you’re jealous, right?”

Yep, it sure seems that way. It would seem I have once more overestimated the fanboys’ basic skills of reading comprehension. Either that, or the concept that ANYONE could be a non-fan of ANYONE without necessarily being envyous of some of their life aspects is so incomprehensible that they just won’t have it.

“Stop caring so much about what other people think and relax.”

Again: you’re telling me?

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Jai

June 14, 2013 at 1:57 am

You know, you are obviously a cunt motherfucker, because you assume shit you don’t know. One Direction did save people, people that I know. So fuck you, dumb bitch.

This last comment was, of course, posted on that classic article I wrote about all those dumbass Directioners who publicly started talking shit about Mitch Lucker and his family shortly after he died. Haven’t got much to add, really. It’s just yet another mediocre defense comment from yet another sore-assed Directioner who either failed to realize that I wasn’t referring to every member of One Direction’s fandom or thinks that the Directioners I actually was referring to are in the right. Either way: failure.

I’d love to hear more Directioners come here and whine. but for now I’ll just leave you guys with this:

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I’ll see you guys later. Kiss-kiss, bye-bye.

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