OBLIGATORY HATE MAIL, #2

Wanna see more PewDiePie-worshipping youngsters try to convince of what an idiot I am? If not, read this article anyways so that you can write me your own hate mail! Is your hate mail stupid enough to get featured on here? Find out below if you’re one of the lucky ones!

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*facepalm*:

June 2, 2013 at 12:03 am

FOR FUCKS SAKE! you dumbass, he’s gotta make money! Just cos he makes money from somethig doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about what he does! It’s like me saying you do your job for the money- which you might and is that terrible? NO! But you might enjoy your job. If he only cared about money he’s get a better job with fewer hours an more money. :L your argument about him shrieking at every jumpscare sucks! People find it funny- your opinion isn’t shared in every brain- you need a new hobby!

As you can probably tell already, this guy starts off in that classy fashion you can always expect from this fandom.

“FOR FUCKS SAKE! you dumbass, he’s gotta make money! Just cos he makes money from somethig doesn’t mean he doesn’t care about what he does!”

I know he needs money, but if he cared about quality also, we would not be here right now.

“It’s like me saying you do your job for the money- which you might and is that terrible? NO!”

If my job was to entertain and I performed it without any semblance of effort then yes.

“But you might enjoy your job. If he only cared about money he’s get a better job with fewer hours an more money. :L your argument about him shrieking at every jumpscare sucks!”

You are going to accuse me of presenting you with poor arguments when the best you can come up with is “your argument sucks”? I hereby feel sorry for anyone who’s ever had to have a conversation with you.

“People find it funny- your opinion isn’t shared in every brain- you need a new hobby!”

How is my filmmaking hobby in any way related to this one article I wrote almost a year ago? You get an F.

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Kylon:

June 23, 2013 at 11:22 am

Who would waste their precious time on writing something ,based on personal opinion? Ain’t nobody gonna give a care about what you think.

Numerous people care about articles like these. Some do because they simply enjoy reading criticism and reviews, others do because they get their feelings hurt and thus develop an urge to send me multiple angry comments.

So yes, people definitely care what I think, some moreso than they should.

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brofistflorida:

June 22, 2013 at 11:06 am

We have no life says the guy who wrote a whole article on how much he hates Pewdiepie. I’m sensing you’re one of those YouTube rejects that nobody watched so you gave up and now you write articles on how you hate a guy who plays video games for a living again probably a dream of yours that never go fulfilled so please fuck off fucktard.
*brofist*

“We have no life says the guy who wrote a whole article on how much he hates Pewdiepie.”

I did not any point claim that PewDiePie’s fans are no-lifers that never go outside. One sentence into the comment, and already you’ve failed.

“I’m sensing you’re one of those YouTube rejects that nobody watched so you gave up and now you write articles on how you hate a guy who plays video games for a living”

Wrong again. I still make videos and whether I still create videos or not has absolutely zero bearing on whether or not I take time off to write reviews on other people’s content. You do realize that you don’t need to “give everything up” to tell people what you think of other entertainers, right?

“probably a dream of yours that never go fulfilled”

Ah, yes, my life long dream of losing all my senses of creativity to the point where my fame is based solely around the fact that I scream and yelp a lot. Truly it is a shame that this never came to pass.

“so please fuck off fucktard. *brofist*”

Only a Bro could give sign a comment off in such a high-brow manner. A+

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YOUR UGLY FACE:

June 16, 2013 at 6:17 pm

Pewdiepie is better than all of you idiots ! At least he is not a stuck up snob like you are ! Who are you to complain about him ? It`s you who sits your ass on a chair all day criticizing everything he does . GET A LIFE YOU FANNY AND STOP THIS CRAP !

I’m just gonna toss this on the ever-expanding “People who STILL think I write about PewDiePie all day every day” pile.

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Jennifer:

June 1, 2013 at 7:27 am

I just have one question for you…. if you really don’t like Pewdiepie, and you don’t find him funny, and he just all around pisses you off…. why do you waste your time writing an entire essay about how much you dislike the guy? It really seems illogical to me to bother with this silly attitude. I would also like to point out that you are quite inaccurate with a lot of your recounts of what you’ve seen in his videos. By no means do I consider Pewdiepie a perfect gamer/youtuber/person, but he makes a lot of people very happy. Maybe you tire of his humor and consider it to be mindless trash for morons, but I beg to differ. He’s a really kind person, and sure maybe some of his jokes are inappropriate but no one laughs at all of his jokes, and no one ever will. Clearly if so many people enjoy his videos he must be doing something right. I don’t think I would call you jealous, I think you’re just bitter. I don’t know you, so I couldn’t explain why, but for some people bitterness comes from lack of happiness… maybe if this is your case you should really try to do something that does make you happy. I’ll tell you one thing, happy people don’t spend time writing angry things about other people. Despite what you may have assumed by reading this, my response is not angry, and I certainly believe you have a right to your own opinions, but this is unhealthy what you’re doing. I could be wrong with that, but one thing is for certain, you bashed a lot of people, not just Pewdiepie, but you bashed millions of people you don’t even know, calling them unintellegent among other things. This is just rude, I’m sure you sense of humor isn’t of utmost sophistication. If you feel his quality is bad then don’t watch it. If someone starts talking about him, and you don’t want to hear it, tell them to stop talking about him. It’s very simple. This is not an attack of the bro army, this is just me concerned for your well being. I wish you well, and I hope you find peace. *brofist*

The same reason I write long, often sarcastic posts about movies I like/don’t like, the sole difference being that when I write about a movie as opposed to an inexplicably worshipped YouTuber, I don’t get an army of angry fangirls telling me what I can and cannot say. Oh, and him being blindly followed by millions of people automatically means that what he’s doing is actually of towering quality, huh? I was gonna draw a parallell here to a certain historical figure, but I think most people know where I’m going with this.

I must say, Jennifer, I really love the part where you try to be all Hannibal Lecter and think you’re able to “figure me out” and “gaze into my soul” or whatever by claiming that I’m unhappy, because obviously only unhappy people are capable of crafting negative opinions about anything. While I am often a cynical chap, I assume, probably incorrectly, that you actually read ALL of my article, in which I posted a link to all my positive reviews and posts. I hoped that this would make at least someone understand that I’m not a *completely* bitter grump who hates everything and everyone. Once again my expectations were not low enough.

And for the love of God, how many times do I have to go over the “Just don’t watch it” argument? Yeah, sure. I hope I find peace too, actually. Truly I am a miserable sap who sits day in and day out watching PewDiePie videos I don’t like, unable to “just stop watching”, rocking back and forth in fetal position as I descend into madness. Because there’s just no way I simply watched some Pewdie videos, wrote my review of his content, left it at that and returned to my dashboard days later only to find a bunch of unnecessarily angry fanboy comments. Like that ever happens. Psh.

You can hit me with insufficient counter-arguments all you want, but you can’t try to convince me that I’m unqualified to critque someone’s sense of humour and content, mostly because it’s not true. I have written another article that explains why, if you’re interested:

“STOP overreacting to negative criticism!”

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Grace:

March 27, 2013 at 4:24 am

Now that’s just rude. Honestly, just cause you hate Pewds, doesn’t meant you have to share it with the rest of us. LIKE WE CARE. Seriously, it’s alright to hate, but keep it to yourself. Seriously. Besides… PEWDIEPIE IS AWESOME :D

Honestly, just ’cause you like Pewds, doesn’t mean you have to share it with me. LIKE I CARE. Seriously.

Did that sound reasonable to you? No? Didn’t think so. So stop.

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Francois:

June 19, 2013 at 11:01 pm

Hey! I’m new… I’ve read the article! It is interesting, but, if you don’t mind, I think your arguments are relatively misleading.
Let me explain myself: to sum up your article, I’ll say that the major points that you despise about Pewdiepie videos are the followings: -unprofessionalism, as, as you said, his videos should “informatively show the audience a lot of the game in question” -absence of any talent
And here are my counter-arguments: -the goal of pewdiepie is not to make serious and precise gameplays, his goal is defined in one word: HUMOR… if I can clearly understand that Pewdiepie may not sound funny for some people, what I can’t understand IS THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE COME TO WATCH THEM JUST TO GIVE IT A DISLIKE OR POST A HATE COMMENT SUCH AS “FUCK YOU”. And that is why I do side myself with bros who say “go find yourself a life”. Indeed, is it worth spendind your time writing an article about Pewdiepie? Is it worth expressing worldwide your hatred? Some people just love his videos, so why blame Pewdiepie for spreading smile and laugh? Bros watch him because it makes them smile in hard times. -Everything you denounce about this youtuber, improvisation, yelling, jokes are actually his advantages!! Bros love him for his silliness, and for a good reason: indeed, although you deny it, Pewdiepie is talented, entertaining and creative (how many youtubers have forged symbols from simple objects such as a golden statue, a dead pig, or a chair?) – Finally, as you ironically suggested, I don’t think Pewdiepie make videos for money. If so, why would he waste his time chatting with bros on Omegle ;) ? Now (if you haven’t guessed it already) I can say I’m a bro. I didn’t want to tell it at first because hatred tends to give you a specific state of mind before reading. (if you know what I mean…) P.S: excuse me for the length, and for my English (I’m french)

Okay, let’s see what we got this time.

“-the goal of pewdiepie is not to make serious and precise gameplays, his goal is defined in one word: HUMOR… if I can clearly understand that Pewdiepie may not sound funny for some people, what I can’t understand IS THE FACT THAT SOME PEOPLE COME TO WATCH THEM JUST TO GIVE IT A DISLIKE OR POST A HATE COMMENT SUCH AS “FUCK YOU”. And that is why I do side myself with bros who say “go find yourself a life”. Indeed, is it worth spendind your time writing an article about Pewdiepie? Is it worth expressing worldwide your hatred?”

Alright, so his goal is not to be informative or useful but to be “funny”. Well, he’s *still* not putting any particular effort into it no matter what the intention behind his brainless shlock happens to be.

Oh, and yes, I have already explained to you guys, again and again and yet AGAIN, that me writing an article on PewDiePie is no different from me giving a negative review to a movie or a TV show. It’s all entertainment. All entertainment will receive criticism. Not all of it will positive. Christ, I’ve already been over this! It’s in the fucking article. Are you quite absolutely sure you read it? 

Also, the article barely took me an afternoon to write. I hardly base my life around hating on one single YouTuber. This is, once again, something I’ve already explained.

“Some people just love his videos, so why blame Pewdiepie for spreading smile and laugh? Bros watch him because it makes them smile in hard times.”

I’m not. I’m blaming him for not caring the measliest iota about quality or cleverness.

“Everything you denounce about this youtuber, improvisation, yelling, jokes are actually his advantages!! Bros love him for his silliness, and for a good reason: indeed, although you deny it, Pewdiepie is talented, entertaining and creative (how many youtubers have forged symbols from simple objects such as a golden statue, a dead pig, or a chair?)”

tim-and-eric-mind-blown

Whoa! He came up with the idea of anthropomorphizing a chair and a dead pig? Wow! This changes everything! Truly, this man is the living embodiment of talent and wit.

“Finally, as you ironically suggested, I don’t think Pewdiepie make videos for money. If so, why would he waste his time chatting with bros on Omegle?”

I think the question is: why would the fact that he willingly interracts with fans have any bearing on my theory that he blatantly values the money over the quality?

“Now (if you haven’t guessed it already) I can say I’m a bro. I didn’t want to tell it at first because hatred tends to give you a specific state of mind before reading. (if you know what I mean…)”

It’s okay. I still don’t agree with you.

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Loyal Bro:

July 20, 2013 at 5:10 pm

Obviously, 10 million people disagree with you. Yes, I’m going there, if you don’t like him, don’t watch him. Simple as that. I hate a lot of you tubers, does that mean I can go out and post meaningless comments? You really have no right to tell anyone to not watch Pewdie. If he was ‘money over quality’ kind of guy, why would he be donating up to 10,000 dollars to charity? And also, when you reply to someone’s comments, you often say, ” Thats not what we’re talking about,” but I think its just you have nothing to say. I am sick and tired of people like you posting comments most of us ignore. Maybe some people aren’t as fluent with english as you are, that doesn’t mean they’re not trying. You can’t just tell people they have no lives. Because obviously your the one with no life, taking all that time to repeat the same things.
“I hate pewdiepie, I hate people who like pewdiepie,”
I’m not saying you can’t post your opinion, just don’t try to control others to not watch him. Because if you talk about Pewds like that, 10 million people including me, will riot.

So let me get this straight. You’re actually aware that I’ve already given multiple rebuttals to the “just don’t watch it” comeback and yet you still decided to roll with it? Did you think that if I heard the same trite bullshit just one more time I would magically cave in and once and for all let you people lecture me as to what I’m qualified to write about? Well, I’m sorry but it doesn’t quite work like that.

Also, I can’t help but notice that you wrote this comment in response to my reply on another comment that tried to present the very same argument as you – the one that Pew can’t possibly care about money over quality because of the donations he makes, not realizing that what he does with his salary is irrelevant to my point that he doesn’t give a shit about quality because he knows that people will blindly approve of his asinine shlock anyways! So basically, you have TWICE attempted to use arguments that you KNOW I’ve already tackled. Bravissimo!

I also noticed that you’ve read a bunch of my other replies carefully, hence your observation that I constantly need to clarify to people what I’m actually talking about, the reason obviously having to be that I can’t think of comebacks to their comments and not that people like you keep missing the fucking point entirely.

But seriously, I really am honestly baffled as to why so many Bros think that I’ve accused them of having “no life”, when the only people who have accused anyone of having a no life is them after reading my article (because articles take entire lives to write). When did I say that? You guysonly slightly worse than most other fandoms in terms of enthusiasm. Why would I think you have no life?

But then, I guess if an article on the Internet is enough to make 10 million people take to the streets and cause a violent disturbance of the public peace for a common purpose (i.e. “riot” as you so delicately put it), then maybe they should sit down, think and reconsider the nature of their existence.

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Now, guys, this final comment is a special one, in which renowned ‘Dipshit Of The Milennium’ contender Skyler gives irony a new name as she takes it upon herself to critique my grammar and intelligence in spite of only having enough brain cells to command the English language and basic logic to the following extent (best parts are highlighted in red):

Skyler:

July 17, 2013 at 11:09 pm 

Salutations, You comment on people’s grammar when you can’t even spell right yourself “It don’t matter” honestly.

Listen I understand what your putting out there but no one, and I mean it when I say no one of the fanbase will ever betray pewdipie. Why? You must ask yourself as you scream at night like the real little girl trapped in her closet that you are, It’s because to many he’s halrious as for you that is your opinion and yours soley. Do you know what that means? Hmm I wonder, while you sit pondering how your slow brain can proccess all of this I’ll tell you before you hurt yourself. No one cares for your opinion or mine or anyone else’s but yet you post because you hate pewdipie. If you want to pick an chew at stupid shit alright I’ll start too.

Alright muffin? (Oof, Skyler. That sure showed me.) now let me inform you what real minds can accomplish you say that he’s not exhilirating enough for you? That he’s not an entertainer? You say that he’s not fit? Look at yourself man, What credentials do you have? I’d love to see them. You are in no way even thought to be qulified to judge pewdipie. Also keep in mind..one sec I’ll type as slow as I can for this, so you understand it and all. .. . . . Those video’s aren’t meant for you, or anyone it’s simply people who look for them. Meaning what? come on slow one I know you can do it now, It’s ok your brain won’t burn it lack’s even that capacity. It’s insinuating that you searched it, meaning all of this is a form of harrassment and not only that either but defamation of character. Stop bullying people your jelious of and leave them be. Not only were you wrong on litterally everything I read, But when reading you can see the burn your trying to implement. “Makes Shaggy look like schwarzenegger” Well your a cross from Hitler and and oprah winfery, although oprah winfery is far superior to the likes of trash like yourself. If you reall hate him, don’t watch him and move on with your life. Fucking loser.

“Salutations, You comment on people’s grammar when you can’t even spell right yourself “It don’t matter” honestly. ”

Strange, isn’t it? It’s almost as if I was being sarcastic and wrote with lousy grammar on purpose to fulfil my mockery of the comment in question.

“Listen I understand what your putting out there but no one, and I mean it when I say no one of the fanbase will ever betray pewdipie. Why?”

Oh, I dunno. Because that’s not the point of the article maybe? Could that have someth- No? Okay.

“You must ask yourself as you scream at night like the real little girl trapped in her closet that you are,”

You’re quite absolutely sure you’re not getting me and Pewdie mixed up here?

“It’s because to many he’s halrious as for you that is your opinion and yours soley. Do you know what that means?”

I actually have no idea what that means since that’s clearly not the English language you’re speaking.

“Hmm I wonder, while you sit pondering how your slow brain can proccess all of this I’ll tell you before you hurt yourself. No one cares for your opinion or mine or anyone else’s but yet you post because you hate pewdipie.”

Yeah. Evidently no one cares. I mean, just look at all these whiny comments no one’s sending to me. Look at all this backlash I’m not getting. Look at this angry dipshit response I’m not readi- Oh, wait!

“If you want to pick an chew at stupid shit alright I’ll start too.”

Well… yeah. Sure. Go ahead. No one’s stopping you. That’s free speech for ya, suckers!

“Alright muffin? now let me inform you what real minds can accomplish you say that he’s not exhilirating enough for you? That he’s not an entertainer? You say that he’s not fit? Look at yourself man, What credentials do you have? I’d love to see them. You are in no way even thought to be qulified to judge pewdipie. ”

Explain to me what the required credentials are, since you clearly understand the concept of criticism like none other. Kinda like how you understand how to speak English.

“Also keep in mind..one sec I’ll type as slow as I can for this, so you understand it and all. .. . . . ”

because dipshits

Okay, wait! Hold on for ONE tiny second here.

You’re gonna type SLOWLY so that I will understand something that I can read and process in my own tempo? You’re gonna type out the sentence carefully and at a low pace to make sure that I don’t breeze through it too quickly? You believe that the time you take to type out your idiotic bullshit is going to have a direct influence on the time I take to reluctantly read it, all this whilst claiming that I’m the stupid one? Gotta be completely honest with you here, Skyler: this comment is the funniest damn thing I’ve read all night! I mean, I deal with a lot of braindead fangirls in my spare time so up until now I thought that they couldn’t possibly surprise me any further in how badly they fuck themselves in the ass when desperately trying to think of a good comeback.

And yet here you are.

Is there even any point in looking at the rest of this comment? I mean, you all know I’m not gonna be able to top that!

“Those video’s aren’t meant for you, or anyone it’s simply people who look for them. Meaning what? come on slow one I know you can do it now, It’s ok your brain won’t burn it lack’s even that capacity.”

Oh no. She’s insulting my brain! That must mean she’s smart! Gaah, what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? Somebody help! An intelligent person is owning me with her superior intellect and shit! Heeeeeeelp!!

“It’s insinuating that you searched it, meaning all of this is a form of harrassment and not only that either but defamation of character. Stop bullying people your jelious of and leave them be.”

And if I hadn’t proven that I’ve watched enough of PewDiePie’s videos to form a solid opinion on him before writing this, you would tell me to go and watch more of his videos. It’s always a win-win situation for you fangirls when some big evil poopy-head like me shows up, isn’t it?

Ah, and there’s that “jealous” card again. Oh, how boring it’s starting to get. You could’ve come up with any other half-assed explanation as to why I wrote a negative “review” on something I didn’t like, but nope, straight for the already thousandfold rebutted “jealous” argument you went.

Just to clarify, Skyler: you’re not actually serious, right? You are in fact a parody of stereotypically whiny and cerebrally hopeless fangirls with insufficient argumentation skills, right? Is that what this is? I can only hope.

“Not only were you wrong on litterally everything I read, But when reading you can see the burn your trying to implement. “Makes Shaggy look like schwarzenegger””

Oh, and let me guess: using the incredible intelligence and wit you’ve demonstrated to all of us thus far, you’re going to 1-up my alleged “burn” with something 10 times more clever and vicious, right?

“Well your a cross from Hitler and and oprah winfery, although oprah winfery is far superior to the likes of trash like yourself.”

Skyler, you do not disappoint.

“If you reall hate him, don’t watch him and move on with your life. Fucking loser.”

Thanks for the comment! Have a great day and thanks again for a read I won’t soon forget! If you’re very lucky I’ll print it out and put it up on my fridge next to an equally profound drawing I made when I was 2 that my dad “accidentally” spilled his mug of Espresso on. I will look at it whenever I feel stupid as a way to remind myself that things could be so much worse.

Skyler hasn’t written me back since I first responded to her comment. I wonder why? She seemed so confident. Oh well.

 

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Ah, the geniuses I encounter.
They sure do remind me why I love writing.

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