I’ll give you three guesses.

You all already know that Mitch Lucker, vocalist of the band Suicide Silence, passed away rather recently in what cannot be called a peaceful or even fair way. Fans of him were – and are obviously still – upset and saddened by this, and even though my knowledge of Lucker and even the band itself was very limited before the news arrived, I too had to feel a bit upset. What you may not know, however, is how a certain group of people called “Directioners” reacted to his death.

In case some of you don’t know, the band One Direction – similar to how Doctor Who has “Whovians”, Justin Bieber has “Beliebers” and Nicki Minaj has “16 and Pregnant candidates”  – uses the term “Directioners” to refer to their fanbase, which recently has proven to include some pretty heartless people. People who poke fun at those associated with Lucker, saying things like “he deserved to die” and his “daughter should just kill herself too” all because, boo-hoo, some members of Suicide Silence apparently said some bad things about One Direction’s songs. Long story short: they think people deserve to die cruel deaths if they don’t have a shitty taste in music.

When I recently wrote a post about idiots who think they’re edgy or clever for being blindly cruel to people involved in a tragic event, I surely did not expect a bunch of horny tweens to be amongst them, but by saying all these nasty things on Twitter and Tumblr, they have proven themselves to actually be a little bit worse than the people I described in that post. In doing so, they have also given other Directioners, who don’t act in such a loathesome way after a tragic death, a pretty bad name. I even know some people who have left the fandom completely because they’re just so ashamed of being a part of it at this point.

But here’s bit of a fun fact for you little Directioners: your blissfully untalented idols are currently in my homeland to perform at our country’s version of the show X Factor. Now, how would you like it if Harry Styles got himself caught in a relentlessly bloody and totally-not-orchestrated weed wacker accident, so that we then could start composing tweets about how he deserved to die because a) his fans are scumbags, b) he’s guilty of mocking another singer and c) he’s a member of One Direction so ’nuff said? You wouldn’t be all that happy and cheerful about an event like that, huh?

Well tough shit, kids, neither are those who mourn the death of Mr. Lucker, which you so stupidly mock. Either grow the Hell up or start packing your things together in preparation for a voyage to go populate planet Kepler-22b, which consequently would make it our galaxy’s least likely attraction for extraterrestrial tourists, not to mention quarantined. Oh, and do feel free to take your lame excuse for a band with you, while you’re at it. Okay? Good!

Hopefully, though, the kind of backlash these dipshits receive from angered Suicide Silence fans, as well as other people, is enough of a punishment and that they learn a lesson from it. If not, well… Weed wacker, anyone? Weed wacker?

NOTE: I recommend watching the above video with the sound off. I don’t know yet if the biggest reason is the music or the fans.


EDIT: I’m not actually going to try to get Harry Stiles caught in a weed wacker accident you fucking dipshits. The fact that I am seriously required to revise this old article in the year 2014 specifically to point this out says everything you need to know.