Well irk.

You know those kind of news that sound so abnormally wrong and silly that they must by all means have been fabricated for the sake of trolling? You know, like finding out that Nicki Minaj will be sitting in the same jury that was once the home of the great Simon Cowell. I mean, Christ,  that’s like phoning Tommy Wisaue when it’s time to find a host for the Oscars. Something just ain’t right.

It’s just the combination of those two things that fuels the sheer absurdity of some of these news. Next up in the same category of news we have the recent story that Justin Bieber – you may or may not have heard of him – has apparently been asked if he’s interested to appear in a movie adaptation of 50 Shades of Grey, according to an article in the Huffington Post. Basically, a generally pretty wholesome singer has been asked to star in what can most aptly be described as the pornographic fantasies of a depressed Edward Cullen-fangirl. But alas, unlike My Immortal, we can be sure that 50 Shades of Grey is actually intended to be taken seriously.

Like, the fact alone that someone is actually considering to adapt this bloody book into a film (“Snow Crash? Nah. The Wheel of Time? Yawn. Discworld? Boooh! Twilight porn? Jackpot!”) is enough to make this story laughable, but putting Justin Bieber in it? Really? I may think he’s a bad musician but I don’t believe he’s a bad guy, especially not in the sense that he’d get naked with someone in what is essentially the first film adaptation of really bad and repulsive fanfiction, when he’s already dating one Miss Gomez, plus being a little too young. True, some of the rough stuff might involve body doubles but since 70% of this crappy book is rough stuff, who knows?

The whole scenario just sounds so silly and unbelievably stupid, that I can almost swear this will turn out to have been a joke scripted for the Jonathan Ross-interview in which Bieber claimed that he’d been offered the part (I looked at the YouTube-video to make sure). But, I don’t seem to be so fortunate.

Well, now that thisis actually frickin’ happening I guess I can’t wait for the inevitable day when we get a film based on My Immortal, starring Connie Talbot and Lil’ P-Nut.

In case this post made you entirely lose all hope for cinema, here’s the new trailer for The Hobbit:

*phew* Now that made me feel a lot better.