If there’s anything I truly long to do before I die – before I fall off the twig and my metabolic processes become history – it’s to enter the mind of a hardcore Christian.

I want to know what it feels like to ignore everything that’s been proven true by some of the world’s greatest minds. I want to experience the kind of stupidity one needs to suffer from to trust that which is written in a hole-ridden non-sensical Fantasy book more than that which is written in A Brief History of Time. I desire the ability to fall for the asinine premise that there is a bearded man in “the sky” who is supposed to be the creator of everything. I want to know what it’s like to refuse reason, science and even common sense, never to give in.

The most egregious example, though, of such unimaginable ignorance must be a YouTuber called ShockOfGod. And yes, I do know it’s been a while since he did that oh! so bold choice of asking all famous atheists that oh! so thought-provoking question regarding how one can prove that God doesn’t exist. It’s been a while indeed and ShockOfGod has received good answers, all of which make sure to explain why the question doesn’t work, but does that stop him from continuing to deny science and ask the same question again and again? You can bet your shiny metal ass that it does not!

ShockOfGod has to be the most staunchly stupid and depressingly brainwashed Christian I have seen. He has thus far misunderstood every argument atheists have provided him with, taken each and every one of their answers out of context, completely got himself stuck in the belief that science is preposterous (Again, how DO you think something like that?) and above all, proved what an absolute moron he is.

And I love the guy. I love him the same way I love Beliebers. His irredeemable idiocy and ignorance just stuns and fascinates me. I love listening to how miserably he misunderstands opposing arguments and how he adorably tries to re-interpret them to make them sound less sensical. He is cute and hilarious! Probably a ladies man.

Surely he is a Creationist too? That’s another thing; Creationists. Tell me, because I need to know something briskly:

How – in the name of God, Heaven and Hell – can someone think that the world is 6000 years old? How? Do some Christians not only wipe their arses with pages from science books but from history books as well? Educated men and women have done extensive research, scientific tests and studied our planet for years upon years and still do, all whilst the rest of you have been reading what you know – I use the term ‘know’ very loosely in this context – from a book where both the historical and scientific accuracy is on par with Lord of The Rings (actually, if you were to teach a person like ShockOfGod at a young age that the Lord of The Rings books are true stories or that Frodo is The Messiah, he’d believe it) and you choose to ignore them? That’s not just stupid, it’s ungrateful.

I know perfectly well that not all Christians are as hopeless or lost as ShockOfGod. I know some who aren’t even believes anymore and start to realize that science has pretty much jossed the existence of God already. But the Christians who do read this, if you don’t want to be universally considered one of the most empty-headed individuals on YouTube like ShockOfGod, here’s what you should hurry up and do:

Put down the Bible and pick up a frickin’ science book!!

I don’t want to say more on this at the moment. Might I instead recommend that those of you who don’t know of a show called The Atheist Experience, especially if you’re a hardcore Christian, watch that immediately. You might learn something. You might even realize at last that most of your ludicrous arguments have already been busted… but if you don’t, please keep being this funny, because you kids are simply priceless.