Like this photo if a) you feel sorry for them, b) you want to save them, c) you wanna tell some invisible man in the sky to fix it, d) they’re beautiful  or e) you don’t actually care and really just hit ‘like’ to look like a nice person.

Here’s a bit of advice to all you miserably lonely attention whores out there: why don’t you post a photo on your Facebook timeline of some hunchback from Chernobyl, a photoshopped picture of  a deformed baby or a picture of a starving African man and claim that every time someone hits the “like”-button, Facebook donates money to the poor soul in question, implying that hospitals are no longer allowed to perform operations or save lives unless Facebook gives them money. Trust me, it works… to get you attention, I mean.

What really decreases my already indescribably low opinion on human intelligence is the fact that people do like these photos, as if to say that they actually believe that just because some random picture gets over 1 000 likes, the admins of Facebook will donate money to some random hospital in, sometimes, some random country. Gullibility still seems to be quite the trend, doesn’t it?

Okay, so people believe that liking photos is suddenly gonna make Facebook do something about sick children or starving Africans, but is that the worst part? Hell no, we know ways to be even dumber than that! How about the photos were the caption reads “1 Like = 1 Prayer”? Yeah, as if relying on a fictitious mystical force to fix the problems of the fucking planet for us wasn’t a stupid enough way to try and make the world better, apparently people won’t have to do that anymore seeing as pushing the ‘like’-button on random depressing Facebook photos will now send your prayer directly to the fictional character in question. God’s keeping up with technology. That’s nice.

How about the people who put up pictures of deformed and horribly ill-looking children or people who look like Sontarans and write “Like if you think she is beautiful ♥” as caption text, then? Stupid, pretentious and obvious that none of the “likers” actually care, at least not the majority who only press like to come off as kind, or at least give themselves a false sense of empathy and kindness. I’m totally gonna try that with a picture of Rubber Johnny.

Rubber-Johnny-horror-movies-16258559-504-320

“Like if she’s beautiful, guys. Ignore if you’re assholes and/or healthy! Heart!”

As if the fact that the people who upload these sad pictures solely for the sake of getting more ‘likes’ and attention isn’t already blatant enough, let’s talk about the people who upload the pictures while simultaneously asking specifically for more friend-invites or ‘likes’ on their musician pages or whatever. There are no words. No words can ever describe such an otherwordly level of patheity.

I usually don’t name names in cases like this but a noteworthy mention must go to this particular picture (deleted, hopefully out of self-loathing and shame). I just linked you to a picture that a young man recently uploaded of some kid who got stuck behind a tire, which some truly worthy ‘Dumbass of The Year’-contender decided to put up on Facebook instead of helping the poor kid, and did not hesitate to write what was essentially the following as caption: “Like this if you would save the kid… also add me”.

Add me? ADD ME?! Who would you have to be in order to… How stupid must you… How inhumanely pathetic does one need t… I’m not going to say anything. I don’t need to say anything. Just… stop! Now!

Like this of you’re a complete, naive moron. *1 000 000+ likes*

EDIT: People who say “Like this photo if you think I’m hot”, I wish a sincerely painful death upon all you idiots. I would pray for it but you know what the Bible says; you can’t ask fictional characters to kill.

Advertisements