(I have trademarked the phrase Bieber-fetishist. I’m just saying.)

Me: “I don’t get why Bieber’s fame doesn’t come from actual talent, but from the fact that tweens are inexplicably obsessed with him. Could you explain how exactly Justin ieber deserves such popularity.”

Tween: “Because he owns! Stupid troll!”

Me: “Bieber’s songs lack creative lyrics and gripping melodies and this is why I wonder where his talent lies. Could you enlighten me?”

Tween: “His talet is that he’s awesome. Stupid jealous troll!”

Me: “As if music wasn’t enough, Bieber recently had to go and ruin something as brilliant as steampunk too. Can you see now why I dislike the guy more than ever?”

Tween: “Get a life stupid, jealous troll!”

Me: “Seriously, am I the only one who thinks Bieber’s lust towards much older women is creepier than an Aphex Twin-video.”

Tween: “Yeah, it’s just you, ‘cuz you’re a dumb troll!!”

Me: “Justin Bieber is a mystery to me. He is no better than the Jonas-brothers and he is in no way more phenomenal than Miley Cyrus, yet this particular teen idol has become one of the most popular singers alive today. In spite of being boringly sweet and innocent, having made no amazingly good songs, having done nothing more noteworthy than just another generic romantic music vid and writing love songs that are far from well thought out, tweens have decided to treat him not as the uninteresting pop singer he is, but as The Messiah. Bieber is a dull star with bad songs and an unwarranted popularity. That is all.”

Tween: “…Um?… Troll!”

Me: “I’m not a Bieber-fan.”

Tween: “Troll.”

Are you starting to see a pattern yet? Idiots.