“You’re just jealous!”

This phrase is a favourite amongts many fanboys and fangirls to use when attempting to defend something. The tweens who obsess over Justin Bieber use it to defend him just as well as fans of Ray William Johnson tend to use it when defending him. Now why do you suppose me hating someone has to mean that I’m jealous of them? Especially in Bieber’s and Ray’s cases; what would motivate me to envy someone with an absolute lack of talent and/or wit? I don’t get that.

Are you saying I envy their fame? Sure, maybe, but if I become famous I want it to be because I’m good at something, and not because tweens have a weakness for metrosexual singers – no matter how untalented – or because I just stand around like a moron talking about random viral videos. So no, I don’t wish I had their fame because their fame is unwarranted. I want fame for something I’m actually good at. Like Steven Spielberg! Now that’s a person I’m jealous of! And Johnny Depp! Good Lord, I wish I had that  sort of talent!

I don’t know if this post is gonna help you fanboys/-girls at all, but what I’m trying to make you understand is that just because you hate someone doesn’t always, in every goddamned case, have to  mean that you’re jealous. By your logic I would also be jealous of Muammar Gaddafi and that guy who shot people in Norway. Why’m I jealous? ‘Cuz I hate them, of course! See the problem with the logic there, brainiacs?

If you hated this post then that just means you’re jealous.