(Trailer for what I presume to be Armond White’s favourite film of all time, The Room):

armond-teethI’ve been asked about my take on film critic Armond White, a man who gives praising reviews to films such as Transformers 2 and Death Race, movies that any knowing film critic with sufficient credentials would refer to as “dogshit”, and poor reviews to the likes of District 9 and Toy Story 3, two of the greatest films to come out recently. Do I think this man is a troll?

Well, I certainly doubt that it is possible to have such a hopelessly upside-down view on film without being either a troll or an absolute mooncalf. I wouldn’t say he’s a complete idiot, though, as he at the very least tries to explain insightfully why he loves all those bad films, unlike other people I’ve met who verbally attack me instead of intelligently discussing it, so the word ‘troll’ is probably more appropriate.

Indeed, it’s far more likely that White’s pretending to be wrong about absolutely everything in order to get attention, which is depressingly what all trolls do (*cough* Encyclo- *cough* -pedia *cough* Dram- *cough* -atica *cough* -chan) but if this would somehow turn out to not be the case, well then he’s just an idiot with an usually vast vocabulary.

By the way, Mr. White, if you desire a film that you will adore forever, I think this should appeal to your great tastes:

Ah, true art. Heavenly.