This one's worth skipping.

Calculus' submarine from 'Red Rackham's Treasure' is featured.

Bizarre; hardly feels like Tintin

As I recently spoke to my father about going to see The Adventures of Tintin a second time (in 3D this time) I remembered how I was first introduced to the Tintin-character when I was a young boy. Sadly, dear readers, what I first saw of Hergé‘s famous adventures of a young journalist and his smart dog was a bizarre, animated Belgian-French production titled Tintin et le Lac aux Requins (eng. Tintin and The Lake of Sharks).

It includes characters from the Hergé comics, yes, but it isn’t based on any of the albums nor does it really feel like a typical Tintin-adventure. This in spite of the fact that Hergé was actually involved with the making of the movie. Reminds me of how Douglas Adams helped finish The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy movie and still it turned out poor.

After an intro depicting a museum getting robbed of a valuable pearl which is replaced by an uncanny fake, Tintin and The Lake of Sharks takes us to the fictional conutry of Syldavia, where Tintin, Captain Haddock and Snowy are on vacation. They run into Thomson and Thompson who reveal that they are on a secret mission. They board a plane together to get to the home of Professor Calculus who has recently finished his latest extraordinary invention – a machine that can clone objects. The plane, however, malfunctions and eventually crashes.

With the help of two local annoying little children, Niko and his sister Nouschka, Tintin, Haddock, Milou and the Thompsons are saved and together they all travel to the home of Calculus. All is not over, though; bad guys are snooping around everywhere, watching over Tintin and wishing to get their hands on Calculus’ amazing cloning-machine.

Tintin and friends.

Their leader, it is revealed, is Rastapopoulos, Tintin’s archenemy. At first we mostly see him from behind, sitting in a comfy chair, hiding his face, smoking a huge cigar and watching Tintin’s actions on a bunch of screens connected to his many surveillance cameras. Long story short; he has been turned into a cheesy James Bond-villain. It’s things like this that make me feel like I’m not really watching a Tintin-movie anymore. As if that annoying song the kids randomly start singing wasn’t enough. Yes, there is singing in a Tintin-movie.

I do wonder what these filmmakers were thinking. Didn’t someone tell them that the key to making a good, fun and faithful Tintin-film is not to try and mimic the likes of Disney and James Bond. I just can’t get over that. A song number in a Tintin-movie; ‘out of place’ is truly an understatement. I can understand if it’s Castafiore rehearsing her latest opera, but this I cannot. To their credit, they did get the design of all the Tintin-characters right, but if you look at all the other characters they seem to be out of a completely different film.

My guess is that Raymond Leblanc (the director) was planning to make a different animated picture, but figured that he should put in characters from the Tintin-comics so that more people would see it. It certainly feels like that’s what happened.

Tintin and The Lake of Sharks is a bizarre and irritating experience. The comedy is very rarely funny at all, the action is not particularly exciting and the music is annoying, as are the characters, especially the little kids. Not to mention, too few jokes are centered around Calculus’ hearing problems, a character trait Leblanc seems to have forgotten about. Apparently he didn’t have hearing problems in the Bellvision-cartoon either. I hardly know anything about said cartoon, but I am glad I saw the 90’s-cartoon instead. Had it not been due to my grandfather showing me that, I doubt I would’ve become a Tintin-fan, escpecially since this film was sadly my introduction to the franchise.

Instead of the trailer (it’s overly long and poorly put together, anyway), this time I’m posting the part where I knew for sure that I wasn’t watching a Tintin-movie. I think he’s singing about how much he loves his sister and his donkey. I will make no perverted jokes.

1.5/5 whatever.

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