I’m home from school due to illness and so I figured I might as well write another one of these, because humorously answering dumb questions is fun to me.

“Have you ever had fan-fiction in mind?”

Believe it or not, there was this one time when I tried to write one of those. A Jersey Shore-fic involoving the cast getting stranded on an Earth-like but uninhabited planet. After they wander around like the morons they are for a while, and fruitlessly try to figure out what’s going on, a humanoid (actually an alien) wearing a suit appears to them, telling them that they have been chosen to breed and multiply on this new planet, as the old Earth is rapidly dying.

“You see,” the humanoid explains, “you have more sex than anyone on the planet, and so you were naturally chosen to repopulate it.”

Of course, this would not work, since a child raised by The Situation or Snooki presumably would’ve learned to spell his name (which probably would be ‘Da Buffboy’ or ‘Hurricane’ or something equally stupid) by the time he’d be old enough to help repopulate Earth.

This fic, however, never saw the light of day.

“What’s your favourite Christmas-song?”

“Merry Fucking Christmas” by Denis Leary, as well as any Christmas-song from South Park.

“You do realise you’re still a dumb fanboy for liking Suburban Knights?”

Indeed I am, that is of course, if fanboyism is defined by reviewing Suburban Knights as an unusually long Internet-video and not a film, which is more fair and less idiotic, then I am indeed a fanboy. If that’s not the definition of a fanboy, however, then chances are I’m not one.

“Who’s your favourite Red Dwarf-character?”

Well, one of the many wonderful things about Red Dwarf, is that all characters are great. Now you know and Knowing is a movie with Nicolas Cage.

You didn’t expect a G.I. Joe-joke, did ya?

“How did you feel when seeing the final Harry Potter-movie ever?”

I’m not a Potter-fan so I didn’t feel what you might’ve felt, but I certainly will feel it after I’ve seen the final episode of South Park. Getting a bit teary-eyed already.

“Do you think the world will end on December 21st, 2012?”

I think people who do believe the world will end on December 21st, 2012, exist solely so that I will have someone to laugh at on December 22nd.