I’m rather bored, so I am going to answer a bunch of questions that actually haven’t been posted to me, but they’re inspired by questions I’ve been asked before in my life. Like I said, I’m bored.

“Do you think of doing video reviews?”

I have had that in mind for a while, yes.

“Why do you like South Park so much? It’s not even funny.”

Because it is ingenious, brilliant and, yes, very funny indeed. It is true that some have a hard time appreciating it, mostly because the humour is either too nasty or too smart.

Mike Nelson of RiffTrax said that Little Nicky (the best movie ever) is the worst comedy ever. So, is that why you hate it? ‘Cuz you’re an MST3k-fanboy?

No, not really. The reason I hate it is that it is a bad movie. I don’t like bad movies.

Jersey Shore is the best show on the planet! Do you agree?”

I wouldn’t say it is the best show on the planet. I would say, however, that tremendously few of the many shows I have seen in my life, even APPROACH Jersey Shore in its abysmal awfulness. For those of you who don’t speak Ebert: that’s a no.

“Are you hungry?”

Why yes, I am.

“Have you seen every movie every made?”

Far from it. I am guessing that there are thousands of black-and-white and silent-films I’ve yet to see, not to mention recent movies. I believe seeing every movie on the planet is impossible. How many years would it take to see each film from the 30’s, anyway? And then continue from there? I don’t feel like attempting it.

“Did you really think Rango was THAT good?”

Of course not. The review was a joke. April Fool!!

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