This one's worth skipping.

"I sparkle! Chicks will love me now!"

ANOTHER freaking movie-character named JOHN!

There are no movies playing in the local theater that I have not seen or that I want to go see, so I just went to see I Am Number Four tonight.

Okay, so there are these people, nine people to be precise, who are in fact extraterrestrials, extraterrestrials with special powers that got their home-planet destroyed by the evil Mongadorians, invaders who are now searching for the nine who escaped from their terror. These survivors are named Number One, Number Two, Number Three and so on. Guess in which order the Mongadorians kill them?

Alex Pettyfer plays John, a teenager who constantly has to move around, due to his inability to keep a low profile and avoid attention, alongside his Guardian (Timothy Olyphant). You can pretty much guess what happens when they move into Paradise, Ohio; y’know, he gets picked on by stereotypical school-bullies for being weird, he befriends the school’s stereotypical geek, he falls in love with a girl and so on.

Yeah-yeah, that’s nice. Now where the hell are the action clichés? They’re the reason why we’re here in the first place!

So yeah, the action in this movie, cool as it mat be, is just enough to make a trailer – which I think they did – while the rest of the movie is a clichéd teen love story. But hey, clichés can work too, you know, both action-ones and teen drama-ones, and most of them do in this movie… okay, some of them.

ANOTHER freaking baddie with a coat.

I guess it’s time to tell you how I liked the movie. I suppose I ought to.

Not a super-good film, but not super-bad, yet it isn’t really entertaining enough to give you an absolute fun time at the movies. I thought the actors all did pretty good, though, and that the cinematography was alright, the visuals were quite nice, the characters (particularly the Mongadorian Commander, played by Kevin Durand) were funny and the story, even though it’s actually not finished, was only mildly interesting.

Yup, there’s most likely going to be a sequel to this movie; it’s pretty much inevitable. I’ll probably not go see that, mostly because I don’t particularly care about whatever the heck happened to Number Five, Seven, Eight and Nine (One, Two and Three are dead, Four’s the main character and Six helps him defeat the bad guys). It’s hard for me to give this film more than 2/5 since I came to the movie because I wanted action, and not a sci-fi version of Twilight.

Somewhat interestingly, I discussed this film with a Twilight-fangirl recently; she hated I Am Number Four, one of the reasons being there was too little chemistry between John and that girl. I agree, but is that not exactly what happens in Twilight? Does random romance only work when it is a vampire and a human and not when it’s an alien and a human? Maybe she only said this to hide the fact that she thought that the brainy sci-fi in I Am Number Four got in the way of her sipmle-minded tween entertainment?

So yes, check it out if you feel like it, but if you only want to see the action, enjoy the trailer:

2/5 whatever.

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